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About this blog

Ramblings and random thoughts of a middle-aged woman facing depression, anxiety,  and other issues

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It’s been a while

It’s been a while since I posted on this blog. I completed my anxiety group in January and for a while things seemed to be going okay. The Cymbalta was working, I was feeling pretty energized, things were going okay. February was really rough. It was exceptionally cold and most of my energy was put into just getting out of the house each day. I made the mistake of admitting to an acquaintance that I was developing feelings for him, and regardless of his answer, that admission really made me real

Pusheen

Pusheen

 

This is the Last Day of Our Acquaintance

Well, it is the anniversary of the death of my 6 year relationship. I've spent the day crying and cursing and thinking "if only I'd done this or that." I even wrote the ex and said I'd give anything to have the last few years to do over again. His answer only goes to show he's not the same person I knew at the beginning. He's gone and moved on, no skin off his nose, as if those 6 years meant nothing to him. Which then gets me thinking well if they don't matter to him, then do they matter at all

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Pusheen

 

Regarding recovery and distractions

It's been an interesting 2 week since I last posted. I feel like my meds have started to work. I don't seem to be as fixated on the past and my mood seems generally better...for now. The funny thing is with this shift in mood, I feel like I've forgotten a lot of the coping skills I had taught myself, such as meditation, positive self talk, nutrition, exercise. I've been really distracted lately by internet dating websites, spending lots of time on them chatting with people. The internet has alwa

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Pusheen

 

In like Flynn (who is Flynn?)

Just a quick note before work. Anxiety group interview went well. It starts in October and will be 14 weeks of CBT and exposure therapy. Other details are scant. Doctor appointment at noon to discuss medication increase for the Cymbalta, 90mg to 120mg. I've been feeling better on the 90 after three weeks at that dosage. I actually feel like I've turned a corner...not feeling quite as crappy and crying less, so this is good news. A person at the support group said the tears were part of grie

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Pusheen

 

Every day is like Sunday

Some nice cool weather after a spell of hot, humid, hazy August weather. Rain and a bit of respite from the heat. Hard to believe there's only 3 weeks left until September. Hard to believe it's nearly been a year since my relationship ended and this nightmare journey through depression and anxiety began.  Very little happened today. I napped most of the day, checked messages on this dating site I'm on. Cleaned the cats boxes. Depression group is tonight. Screening appointment for the anxiet

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Pusheen

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