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About this blog

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." — Helen Keller

Entries in this blog

 

Feeling scared

I'm scared that I might be heading down that slippery slope into depression again. It could have started with Post-traumatic stress symptoms which added on to the ongoing vicarious trauma and eventually burn out that I might be experiencing. I'm scared because I don't want to go down that road again, but I am suspicious and I am feeling lousy that I am not doing as well as I hoped (although I know I shouldn't compare with the many out there who can't get a job) I am scared because I kn

sirenZ

sirenZ

 

knowing you are not okay

You know you are not okay when: - you haven't slept more than 4 hours for the past few days - you cannot stay asleep even with that few hours of sleep because you have nightmares - you feel can't focus at work - you feel so jaded at work - you feel upset over little things - you get easily angry Oh dear.... But I have not lost control, so I guess that is a good thing:)

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sirenZ

 

struggling

I realised my previous entry from a week or two ago is missing but nonetheless, I did not realise how much time has lapsed since I last posted.  In this season, I am struggling - struggling with post-traumatic stress symptoms. Some days and seasons like this, you can't find the strength and you remain rooted in your spot. You want to give up and yet, you want to hang on.  Oh, that struggle. I'm really not okay.

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sirenZ

 

Dealing with trauma

It has been a while since I made the effort to pen down my thoughts. The absence coincided with a period of great uncertainties, hopes and then frustrations. Truth be told, I was struggling for a while and decided to muster the courage to come face to face with my worries by writing them down. I thought I was coping for a while when my schedule started to clear up, according me with more breathing space to continue healing from a traumatic event and to recover from burn out. The slower pace

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Comfort versus Sanity

Even the optimist find themselves having bad days/weeks. The hitaus concided with my leave and since my return back at work about 2.5 weeks ago, it has been madness. I wonder at times if I am experiencing a burn out from work. I find myself at a loss for words and yet feel so pent up with negative emotions, yearning for a release. For my long term sanity, I know I need an alternative plan because if I stay on too long, I might end up choosing the leave the sector totally. It is no wonder that th

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Acknowledgement

I haven't been around much, simply because I am having a difficult week and words have escaped me. It all started go downhill when you are assaulted at work by the very clients you are trying to assist. It was traumatising and I am not going into detail. But this period has also allowed me to reflect on the progress I have made. Sure, I was filled with intense fear and anxiety. For a few days, i couldn't speak about the incident and I avoided everything to do with it.  Nonetheless, I know I

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The initiation

I spent the past 2 days browsing through the various posts and I am inspired by the struggles and the strength demonstrated. Having suffered from depression as a teen/young adult, much of the stories and struggles resonnated deeply with me and it reminded me of a time that was so dark I struggle to fully fathom today.  I am drawn back to mental health repeatedly at work because mental health sufferers holds a special place in my heart. As I slowly acknolwedge the past struggles I endured an

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