Advertisement
  • Announcements

    • Lindsay

      A Reminder that we are a PG13 Site   12/09/2016

      Please keep in mind that NO content can be posted that is not PG13!  No sexual content and definitely not images which is not permitted in a post! We will delete it.  Not even memes or humorous images should be posted, if you want these forums to continue. NO IMAGES! If you want to post an image, post the URL pointing it to your gallery.  Again, Depressionforums.org is PG13!! Thank you~ ~Forum Admin  
  • entries
    28
  • comments
    17
  • views
    743

Entries in this blog

Demonpenz

12/10/2016

I need to meditate on my breaks and use my time as my most important resourse. If you died what would you differently. Sense of urgency. 
Take it all ideas. Make sure you use a G2 and nice journal. Start keeping a journal at al times so you can get better and 
capture all ideas. Take notes everywhere and etch. Get the mental effort to get the journal and the picture clear as possible.
Make sure you take notes. Focus is important. You focus on what is awesome. The most valuable resource is time.
Don't spend it on bulls***. I am trying to get 999 billion dollars. I am trying to get the most chedder possible. I want to help
other people. My mission is to make 999 billion dollars #1 player of all time. Top of the food chain. Leader. Time management Browser black out.
Waste time. Browser black out. Need to do a better job to not have browser blackout. I trust that if I do this. I need to meditate on my breaks.

Long term goals 1 year 999 billion dollars year 5 1 trillion dollars year 10 2 trillion dollars 20 year 3 trillion dollars. Inspire the heart and the soul.
Fishing. Bass boat. All fishing. Become a master fisherman. Own a Nascar team or a racing team. You have to dream. Mansion like the playboy mansion.
Playmates of all races as girlfriends. The best athlets as my friends and I can coach them. Chiefs KC Sporting KC tickets HALL OF FAME BOWLER.
Mercedez Benz two suv's Buick Grandnational

Short Range goals. To meditate on my breaks. Work hard. Build batches be passionate. This weekend walk 5 miles a day. Don't eat and lean up. Work 
so hard I am miserable. Play the lottery everyday. You have to spend money to make money. Stick to it. A breakthrough is right around the corner. You
show God you won't quit with this 999 billion he will be like alright dooty ere you go. Do whatever it takes. If it takes reading I will read
if it takes me starving my starving myself I will do. I know one day it will be worth it. If I have one good day it can turn into two days. Fat people put sleep over
working out. Fat people put lots of over working out. Poor people put lots of before making money.

Demonpenz

12/07/2016

*****breakthrough***** I had an emphany that I don't want to be ripped and be a pimp and 999 billion dollars too badly...Why?
Because I choose sleep and relaxing over those things. If I truely wanted those things instead of sleeping I would jump
my happy ass out of bed and do massive action. Every time I choose working out towards getting ripped over sleep over
everything it sends a signal to my brain that "Yes this is what it takes to be ripped" Everytime I go out rather
than coming home and relaxing it sends a signal to my brain "yes this is what it takes to be a pimp. Everytime I go the extra
mile at work or spend the extra dollar on the lotto I tell myself "This is the kind of balls out massive action it takes to be 
successful at whatever you are doing. Commitment to excellence. Commitment Enthusiasm do what you love. 
10 Keys to Personal Power
1. Clarity
——Decisiveness
——Vision
2. Competence
—Excellence yields opportunities
—Hard work yields improvement
—The market pays for excellence
3. Concentration
—Key to Effectiveness
—Best use of time
—Sense of urgency
—Completion of every task
4. Common Sense
—Train your mind
—Think things through
—Listen to your intuition
—Learn from setbacks
5. Creativity
—Tap creative potential
—Look for better ways
—Be flexible
—Ask questions
—Have one new idea
6. Consideration
—Relationships determine success
—People skills
—Golden rule
—Learn to listen
—Most firings result from personal problems
7. Consistency
—Dependable work is superior
—Consistency in relationships
—Guard your integrity
—Consistency in personal development
8. Commitment
—to your company, boss, job
—to your family and friends
—to yourself, your career, and success
—to your goals
9. Courage
—Confront your fears
—Dare to go forward
—Avoid ruts
—Be a little afraid
—No security, just opportunity
—Fear of failure begets failure
—Persist despite adversity
10. Confidence
—Self-doubt can paralyze
—Self-confidence begets achievement
—Behave confidently

Demonpenz

12/06/2016

12/06/2016 I woke up today. I was a bit p*****. I am so far away from my goals and dreams. Oh well time to get to work. I started going for a walk. My goal is not to eat much
today and get on the treadmill. I need to get my butt on the treadmill as well. Self-discipline. I am working towards getting money to give back. I want to become the best version of myself. When I raise my toughness and raise my perseverance. If I enforce strategy. 

I can look at my vision board to really fuel the fire of success. You have to really come up with level of passion, excitement, success.

 

12316446_10207247020310486_9020164728553763744_n.jpg

Demonpenz

122222

Part of the fun in life is dropping knowledge bombs on unsuspecting people. I was getting my haircut at sport clips yesterday and I dropped some knowledge about anxiety and I started a conversation about how would you rather be lit up with anxiety or be sluggish. I personally would rather be lit up with anxiety so I can finish Elder Scrolls online level 50. This lady agreed. We also agreed that half the battle with mental illness is getting used to...dipping your toes...even wadding into the warm hot tub that is the fact that it isn't a ruptured disk in the back situation or neck situation. You can cut hair run around and do errands and it sucks but it isn't so bad you can't do anything. Once you play in the mud with that fact it lightens the load to go to places. There is a sickness in being a martyer ohhhhh I don't feel good, but once you see that as a block from getting stuff done then you can make the next call, respond to the next email, do the next thing to get things done.

Demonpenz

12/04/2016 part 2

12/04/2016 I woke up early today. I have two things on my mind. Getting my body, mind and spirit in awesome shape. I am going to take massive action.
I am going to do whatever it takes to be the #1 businessman of all-time. Roth 401k save money network build skils kiss butt where need be
WHATEVER IT TAKES. I am doing that to inspire myself and inspire others. Being sensitive to being inspired is a skillset. If you aren't on the lookout on what moves you
you will always be depressed and bla. Be on the lookout what can get you out of depression or at-least keep yourself from ******* yourself. Everyday you don't eat a bullet
is a day closer to getting out of a hole. YOU INSPIRE SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW YOU INSPIRE BY JUST BEING ALIVE. So get your butt to a theropist or something. Some sort of
action. It is important to have a clear vision or outcome you want in life all the way down to small situations. One reason of millions to get that
vision as clear as possible is so when you are learning you can say to yourself "This is important for my vision because with this skill I can make my dream a reality"
I need to save money, invest money, learn skills, build toughness, build my pain tolerence, so I can be the #1 businessman of all-time. So always get clear and clearer
on your vision. I was able to watch the Kansas City Chiefs play today. They did awesome. I met with my friends Adam and Jason. We had a great time. I felt good for most of the day.
I went to the casino lost about 30 dollars, but had fun. I was planning on really kind of having a crappy day, but it was good. B+ Back to work tomorrow. On the grind. 

Demonpenz

12/04/2016 I woke up early today. I have two things on my mind. Getting my body, mind and spirit in awesome shape. I am going to take massive action.
I am going to do whatever it takes to be the #1 businessman of all-time. Roth 401k save money network build skils kiss butt where need be
WHATEVER IT TAKES. I am doing that to inspire myself and inspire others. Being sensitive to being inspired is a skillset. If you aren't on the lookout on what moves you
you will always be depressed and bla. Be on the lookout what can get you out of depression or at-least keep yourself from ******* yourself. Everyday you don't eat a bullet
is a day closer to getting out of a hole. YOU INSPIRE SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW YOU INSPIRE BY JUST BEING ALIVE. So get your butt to a therapist or something. Some sort of
action.

stock-photo-a-huge-pile-of-money-101076850 (1).jpg

CynsjiHVQAAwRaY.jpg

InspirationpictureMB.JPG

Demonpenz

12/03/2016 part 2

***breakthrough*** I woke up today in some fear. Fear that I wouldn't get what I want that I would get side tracked from my goals of 999 billion dollars
being #1 businessman of all time. I said this encantation that helped I woke up in a bit of fear today. I like this saying. "I am fully complete the way I am. I don't need anything. I come from the frame of abundance. I am here to provide value to any situation"
That is a great situation to get me out of fear. I can stop thinking about what am I going to lose. I already have plenty of everything. Just need to add value to situations.
Adding value to Raymonds sponsership is amazing on your part as well. You always have to have an open mind to have a breakthrough. The idea Raymond might give you
could launch your game your money into another level. Having an open mind is a skill you have to cultivate, excersize and build.  I played some farming simululator. Picking
up logs is such a pain in the ass. Oh my GOD!!KU won. Everyone looked good. I ate too much. Going to have to work hard tomorrow on staying present and having the presense of mind 
not to go too big on the overeating. We went bowling it was good. I bowled a bit over my average and we won 4 games.  I had a girl at the gas station that gave me a free fountain diet mountain dew.
That made me feel good. I don't let my mind and my emotions dictate who I am. I am not my mind.

Demonpenz

12/03/2016

I woke up in a bit of fear today. I like this saying. "I am fully complete the way I am. I don't need anything. I come from the frame of abundance. I am here to provide value to any situation"

Demonpenz

12/02/2016

Good job from me to walk away from a meal not overeating and not eating pie. Yesterday I went to bed a bit hungry. I try not to eat before bed. Your body stores fat easily when you go to bed full. I had to hone, flex and cultivate
my self-discipline muscle of going to bed yesterday. I don't feel great today. I made a video about completing against other people. When I think about
my self-discipline being so far ahead of other people I achieve near God-like status that stokes the fire. When I am so far ahead of people by being
a humble executer that people are amazed and ask me how did I do it that stokes my desire to keep going. I was able to walk away from my catfish dinner.
I was able to leave pie at the table.

Demonpenz

12/01/2016

Today was really tough. I was snippy with a lady at work. I felt terrible and I was sick and depressed. I pushed through. I know that when things are tough and the chips are down. You can take that time and look at it as a challenge. Challenges like today happen every once in awhile. I strive to use tough times to cultivate, hone, harness, and grow my toughness and spirit. I made it through the day. I try not to talk crap on people as well.  That is lame.

Demonpenz

11/30/2016

I woke up today. I went down to see my sponsor. So much of life is just meeting with mentors or sponsors. That went well.
We talked about loving people for who they are and just be at peace with life. Life on lifes terms. I made my
magnificant purpose which is to make 999 Billion dollars on Jan 1st 2026. I will be connected with awesome people and awesome athletes.
I will wear brooks brothers outfits and be awesome. The theme song for the Kansas Jayhawks really pumped me up and inspired me.
You have to cultivate the sensitity to be inspired. You have to cultivate, hone, and increase your inspiration everyday. Find photos
shows, and music that moves you. It can be good or bad. Some things may pi** you off, but if it gets your butt moving use it!

Demonpenz

11/29/2016

Need to come up with description of success you have to put down sight, hearing, sound, what it feels like etc. I would envision myself
in brooks brothers pants, nice high end polo's, for sports have the best jersey's, also a wide arange of funny shirts. Boss 429, 2 jeeps
BMW SUV, and ferrari in the garage. Steak and fish, and fresh veggies and fresh fruit to eat. Great video games and arcade games to play
pinball machines to play. Alice Eve, Krystenn ritter, Elsiha cuthbert on speed dial. People hitting me up on social media all the time
999 billion dollars. Money to gamble, putting money on bets online and on the lottery, working for a charity that feels good.
Great enthusiasim most of the time. This will happen 2026. Living breathing success. Record your vision every two weeks. I got the buffalo in Farming simulator.
Now I can really harvest some trees. I was able to go to Planet Fitness. I can always excersize, grow, and hone my ability to be self-disiplined. 
Everytime I excersize my ability to self-discipline myself it gives me more freedom. It is totally counterintoitive Leena needs to be on my vision board.

Demonpenz

11/27/2016

11/27/2016 I woke up and I didn't feel terrible. I started to think about the .jpg that I made with all the pictures that really move me.
You have to go through the internet and magizenes and find pictures that actually make you feel something. I know depression can leave you numb.
My dad said that since I didn't buy my nephew anything for his birthday my dad is going to give my nephew my money. That is a good idea and
because I was able to attend the party and not have that bad of depression my load was lightened. Today I had 3 people including a girl 
message me on facebook. That didn't feel great, but it was a step in the right direction. If you are successful people want you to be around.
Even if you aren't successful you are probably still loved and have value to other people. So make sure you get out of the house. Now a picture of Airwolf!

 

Image result for Airwolf

Demonpenz

I rode for 2 hours to my nephews birthday party. I didn't buy him anything but just being there was a step in the right direction. Those long days around people can be terrible with depression, but welburtrin and stratera seem to bringing my mood a bit up. They do make me jittery though at the end of my sentences I studder a bit. I will trade that off from feeling like I am dead or that feeling of sweat and dread.

Demonpenz

11/26/2016

I wasn't able to sleep yesterday without eating which was a bummer. On the bright side I woke up thinking about cash.jpg and alice eve. So that
got me emotionally motivated to go for a walk. It sucked, but I know I have to increase my toughness and increase my self-discipline if I want
to move up in the world and grow as a person. If it was easy everyone would do it. I know I am on the right track when I feel like crap, because
the things that need to be done to be successful suck. 

Demonpenz

11/15/2016

Every night before I go to sleep I like to type something up that I can read in the morning. It is usually something to the effect of....."your mind is going to play games with you today, focus on your breathing, it is just a game. You winning the game depends on you just breathing and getting through whatever situation you are put in." I also write down what I want to focus on. I want to focus on making 999 billion dollars and becoming physically and mentally fit. I have a vision with me being lean and mean. Giving a Tedx talk. I would love to help people have hope through depression, being poor, being fat, and being alone. That is what I am coming out of. I am alone, fat, broke, but I have the internet and books. I also have the ability to take massive action. I know there will be setbacks. My entire life has been a setback. Everyday I can get tougher, meaner, and stronger.

 

I believe there is a correlation between Hard Work working out. Hard Work on your diet and hard work at work. They are all tied together. If you work out hard that will 
spill over to your work life. If you work hard at work you will work hard when you work out. You have to have the will to win. Will yourself to do things
that make you successful. Will yourself to go farther dig deeper embrace the pain embrace the suffering. More pain more gain. More pain more growth. Growth 
is happiness. You have pain...pain will turn to growth and growth will turn into happiness. Get the fundalmentals down. Praying, Encantations, packing
into the stream of life. 

 

I am making a Killer Mike great tracks for my car. I didn't feel bad today 

Demonpenz

11/24/2016

I really lucked out with Thanksgiving this year. It was small and it wasn't stressful at all. I felt depressed but it wasn't nearly as bad as some years and I wasn't drunk so that was great. My mind and my body feel bad and depressed, but I know I am so much more than my mind. I feel bad and then I think I am a crappy person. I can override that and overcome that if I recognize the fact that depression does that to people. I also looked at some of my friends on facebook with hot wives and I was jealous. I told myself that is what my brain does as well. They could be miserable. I hear all the time So and so killed himself his wife and kids were beautiful. So haven't a hot wife or money doesn't mean squat to happiness. I really did well losing weight the last month. My medicine has gotten me feeling good so I don't need to eat sugar all the time. So I didn't feel happy about the weight loss, but I know it something that needed to be done.  I have a vision for me as lean, lots of money, happy and passionate, helping others, strong. One thing I need to do is lose some weight and get fit physically and mentally. 

Demonpenz

11/20/2016

Yesterday I felt like garbage. I have a sponsor in AA and it is important to let him know when I feel like crap. It is important to me that I don't view depression as good or bad. It just is. I have read a couple books that back that up. "Letting Go" is one of the book. Another book is called "Depression is a Liar." I am going through a a work book called "The neuropsychology of Self-Dicipline. It is on youtube and it is on PDF to download. I have clear goals and I don't care how crazy they are. I am going to hone, and build, cultivate the skills of "Taking massive action" Modeling my sponsor" Modeling Rich and wealthy. You don't have to reinvent the wheel you just have to find good role models and do what they do.

1.Sober
2.999 Billion dollars
3. play and enjoy video games
4. Bass boat
5. Nascar SKC KU CHIEFS ROYALS TICKETS
6. Inspire others
7. Be a good son help my parents
8. Keep my room and desk clean
9. Save money
10. Cultivate self-dicapline
11. Concerts Lots of them
12. Take time out to read
13. Take time out to do encantations
14. Enjoy and have passion no matter what
15. Get better each day at my job Cultivate the will to win
16. Be a role model in AA
17. Save people with my sober experience
18. Inspire fat people
19. Make st joe better. 
20. New Wardrobe
21. Jordans Timberlands Nike's rebook assics
22. Mercedez Bens Suv
23.The 2017 GLE350 SUV MERCEDES-BENZ
24. MERCEDES-BENZ 2017 GLE350
25. Help my dad retire
26. Power boat
27. Give back books to the poor.
28. Give Cortland and Max 25 dollars
29. Gibson Les Paul
30. Pearl Drumset. 
31. Electronic Drum Set
32. Good peddles and recording studio.
33. Be in a band with Reid.
34. Help my sister and Ben.
35. Big Ass chains
36. 999 Billion dollars in my 401K
37. Travel Across Europe and take Crabtree with me.
38. Be a good stand up comedian
39. be a good motivational speaker
40. Be a good teacher and a good spirital leader.
41. Give my mom lots of money to gamble with.
42. Give mike some money
43. Alienware computer a good gaming computer
44. Xbox one. Battlefield one. Mass effect 3. Nba2k17 Madden 17. Project cars. f1 2016. 
45. Elder scrolls skyrim.
46. Have big parties with pretty people. 
47. Go into business with the guy in westport.
48. Have a taco truck
49.  Give clothes to people who need it. Books as well.
50. Brooks Brothers outfits Jos A Bank ties brooks brothers trousers. 
51. Go to Tony Robbins, Eckhart Toole, Tyler Workshops.
52. Give back to Mo West and help draw in recruits. 
53. Bose noice canceling headphones
54. Good gaming computer. Huge screen for gaming. Iracing set up. Racing wheel Shifter the works.
55. Boss 302 or 429. Camero 1968
56. Own a Nascar or Indy team
57. Drive race cars. 
58.Ferrari 488 GTB
59. Pay Chrystler 200C off
60. Dentist and doctor checkups
61. Change Oil in Chrysler
62. Floss. 
63. Listen to Motivational speaches. Tony Robins. Zig Ziggler. Get the basics and the fundlemenals down
64. Jane From breaking bad date that lady. Kate Windslet and the brown headed girl from 2 broke girls
65. Meet Mike Tyson. Donald Trump. Obama. Joe Randa. Kobe Bryant. RSD crew. Eric Thomas. Elliot. The Rock. Drew Carrey
Tina Fey. Alec Baldwin. Meet Eckhart Toole. Crew from RSD. Alex Gordon. Meet Dale Earnhardt JR
Meet Dale Earnhardt JR. Meet Tony Stewart. Meet Alex Zanardi. Meet Dave Grohl. Meet Metallica.
Meet The Urge and hang out with them. Meet Carrie Underwood. Meet Lonely Island. Meet Lebron James
Meet Tom Brady. Meet Eric Berry. Meet Derrick Johnson. Meet Sidney Crosby. Meet Roger Espinoza.
Meet Mike Sweeey. Meet Rusty Kuntz. Meet Bill Self. Meet Perry Ellis. Meet Tim Duncan. Meet Eric Clapton
Meet Chipper Jones. Meet Ben Gibbin From Death Cab for Cutie. Meet Choheed and Cambria. Meet Tony Robbins. 
Meet Dr. Dre Meet Craig Fergison. Meet Anthony Bourdain. Meet Kyle Busch. Meet Megan Fox. 
Meet Wayne Gretzky. Meet Black Keys. Meet 311. Meet Incubus. Meet Karl Icon. Meet Warren Buffet. Met Oprah
66. Travel to other Nascar, Indycar, F1 tracks. Watch the races. Make friends so you can watch the races together.
67. Buy A million books
68. Help others write out goal lists.
69. have a six pack with big arms. 
70. 64 Impala. 2017 camaro SS. Jeep Trailhawk deep blue color. A low rider. 

You work hard at work. You cultivate the will to win. You will yourself to do things that you know is nessessary and right to do. 
You work harder and harder each day. You push at work and that will spill over to your workout. You work out hard.
You don't cut corners. You work harder and harder each day. That will spill over to your career and work life. You
work hard with AA and workout hard going to meetings. You work harder to be more and more into AA and to help people
That will spill over to your career, to your workouts, to your diet. You work hard to give to relationships. You give
more and more that will spill over to your career, to your workouts, to your diet, to your AA life.

Demonpenz

11/18/2016

I walked the dog for a bit today. I went to planet fitness as well. It sucks to go out in the cold. You have to cultivate, hone, improve your self-discipline and get out in the cold and do work.

Demonpenz

Mindset and reps

I lift weights. I know the importance of consistency. I know you get out what you put in. I know having a routine is important. I have been working on being more passionate, happier, and using my will and skill everyday to become better in those area's. I can use my mind body and soul to change my life and others life. Sometimes I feel like crap. That doesn't mean I give up. I still go through my routine in my head. "Well at-least I am alive, well I am grateful I am alive, I won't give up, I will keep breathing and surviving. I am a person who doesn't give up. I inspire other people. I will make 999 billion dollars. I will get a nice Mercedez. More importantly I will give back. I will polish, hone, and supersize my skills.

Demonpenz

11/13/2016

Some things that help me through my day is acknowledging that there are down times and boring times. That is normal. That is a big part of success and getting out of depression. When things seem bleak and boring. Just keep breathing and staying alive. I am not going to sugar coat it. Things suck. They suck most of the times. I have the goal of dying a natural death.  I feel like it is my job and choice to keep going. Even though I may feel bad and times are tough. I can make money, cultivate my skills, I can be funny and creative. I can help other people. If that helps me feel better awesome. The focus is staying alive so others especially my mom feel good. 

Demonpenz

09/26/2016

I am almost getting fired at work. That is bad. I did take action to schedule an appointment to see if I am A.D.D. I felt a bit better this weekend. I spend alot of time with my mom and dad and that is always a good thing

Demonpenz

Overcoming fear

One you see that you are battling yourself and your body in situations it really helps you cope and appreciate your growth. I had some fear in one area of my life, but I was able to walk through it with grace, strength and dignity. After that I felt fulfilled and I know that I am winning on levels on life I never thought imaginable. If you work your butt off and with a little luck, you might have a silver lining.  

Demonpenz

09/18/2016

 I have been working 40-50 hours a week which is pretty amazing considering how depressed I am most of the time. There is lots of pressure and responsibility on me at work, but I always try my best. I am 35 years old and one thing I know is that you can cry, moan complain, but keep learning and keep at whatever it is that you are doing. I am saving money and I have had some setbacks out of my control but I know the important thing is the character that I am building. I fish, I go for walks, I read. I watch youtube videos. I ty my best to save the wear and tear on my car and tires. There is lots of bad about being depressed but one of them is I never have job security.