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About this blog

My life has had so many ups and downs. I have followed the road less traveled all my life, meaning my own individual path. This is a blog about those ups and downs and being on the road less traveled. 

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Entries in this blog

Career Problems

I am having trouble in my career. I haven't worked very much in my current job for eight months now, and the lack of progress is beginning to show itself. I am limited in my role in terms of what can be implemented due to an overstretched boss, lack of resources and what I suspect is a lack of open-mindedness from the top. I've been interviewing for other roles for over a year now, facing numerous rejections and one rescinded job offer because I asked for too much in the negotiation process. I a

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Feel Like a Failure =(

I have not said this often, if ever, in my life, but right now I feel like I am failing. I have always been successful at work... always, until now. I had a bad interview today. And about 15 failed interviews over the last year. Needless to say, I feel like a dumb*ass. I prepped for it thoroughly, but I was not prepared at all for how it really went. They asked questions I was not prepared for; they wanted to switch last minute to a video call; and they switched one of the interviewers up on me;

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True Love Is..

True love is caring for and loving someone else more than yourself. True love is giving of your WHOLE self, not just a part of you, or a sliver of your heart. True love means giving it your all, 100%. I found true love, and will hold onto it for dear life. He is my everything, my world. If I didn't have him in my life, I would feel lost without a paddle. I don't ever want to lose him, not ever. I just re-read all of our early messages back and forth and started crying. We were good friends t

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Quit Smoking ~ The Psychology of Smoking

So I haven't posted here in a long while. My now fiance and I both quit smoking and are vaping instead. Yes, we're now engaged and are living together!! So back to the topic... we quit smoking but have both cheated together with cigarettes now and again. We're making note of the differences between cigarettes and vaping. There really is no difference because you're getting the nicotine but with a really nice delicious flavor like Nerdz candy or strawberry and watermelon jolly rancher flavor. The

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Toxic People 2

I said I was leaving DF -- I have and am. However, I need to get this off my chest. Some people are just plain TOXIC. They cannot help but meddle in others' lives, lie outright and manipulate people. I am done with these types of people. I don't deserve any crap from anyone. I do not lie, nor do I try to manipulate people or mess with people's lives. I say it like it is to people, and whether they like it or not, it's the plain truth. I am honest, loyal and I am a good friend. Thank God I have c

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Leaving DF for Now ~ Farewell and Thank You

I have decided to leave DF, at least temporarily. It is now time for me to move on and spread my wings. I have a new website/blog that is taking off to focus on, a new Happiness Facebook page and an upcoming course that will take over my life for the next two months. DF has served me well, but it is time to now bid my farewells for now and wish everyone here all the best. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all those who have been generous and kind towards me, and to all those who have prov

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Goodbye and Good Riddance to Unhealthy Toxic People

I have had it; I am done. Goodbye and good riddance to all toxic people. I have taken deliberate steps in my life to avoid and remove these most poisonous and twisted types of people from my life over the last two years, and you know what? I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. That is due to many reasons, the main one being my most sweet and loving boyfriend. He's got my back and I have his, and nothing can break us apart. Another important reason is because I am taking deliberate and cons

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Big Life Decisions, Crossroads and Choices

Have you ever woken up and felt like you had strange dreams that left you disturbed but you couldn't exactly remember them and you don't know why you feel that way? I have vague recollections of friends from my graduate program, a camp setting, spilling bee.r on the rug and going sailing without my wallet, but that's it. Yet I have this really weird, disturbed feeling and cannot shake it off. For the last ten minutes I've been walking around in a dreamlike stupor, making my coffee and feeling sh

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Snowy White Christmas!

I am sooooo excited! It snowed 3-4 inches last night and is still snowing! We're going to have a white Christmas this year, which means the world to me. Growing up we used to go skiing on Christmas day and opened presents Christmas eve. I remember that for many years, it rained on Christmas day and we couldn't actually ski. It was such a bummer to drive three hours north in the pouring rain, only to be able to go to the only open store, LL Bean, because of the rain. We would eat out and stay in.

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Magical Snow & Love

It snowed for the first time last night! I feel so giddy like a little kid opening presents! Well, at least it's the first time I've seen it stick to the ground this year. It's the Christmas season, we have our Christmas tree up and decorated, our house smells like pine from the holiday candles burning and I want to just run outside and play in the snow right now in my pajamas. LOL. I want to play hooky and go skiing! I want to make snow angels and bake cookies! Forget this work thing. How can I

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Being in Love ~ True Love

This love is like none I've ever known. I never thought it could happen, and it came at the most unexpected time and place. Knowing now what true love really is, I know that I've never truly been in love before... until now. I've never felt so deeply loved, cherished and respected. I've never been treated with such loving kindness and loving support. I've never had anyone say the things that are being said to me.... the nicest words I've ever heard and felt in my entire life. I've never felt so

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Leaving on a Jet Plane!

WOOOHOOO!!!!! It's vacation time! Not sure if I'll ever come back! LOL. I haven't been on a plane in three years, and I absolutely LOVE flying, so I am beyond excited. There is nothing that compares to that most delicious feeling at takeoff, when you have nothing to do but sit back, enjoy the scenery, have a blood.y mary and put all your troubles behind you. My bags are already packed and I'm ready to go. I packed a week early I was so excited, lol. And today, a Friday, the end of the work w

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Life's Adventures.. Every Day is One

I'm feeling reflective today. Life is most certainly one grand adventure... each day is an adventure, if we choose to look at it that way. Full of highs, lows, successes, failures, scary dark corners, the unknown, things that can go right or wrong.... no matter what each day brings, the good, the bad and the ugly, we must face everything that comes with confidence, bravery, and strength. I remember when I was being bullied in school as a kid and rather than being afraid to face the day, I wou

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In the Spirit of Christmas

The true spirit of Christmas.... forgiveness, neighborly/brotherly love, charity, and selfless giving. I am embracing the true spirit and meaning of Christmas this year in fullness. My heart is full right now of love for all. I do want to forgive others with all my heart... I want to let go of any pain from the past and forgive any enemies for their wrongdoings against me. Holding onto resentments only harms oneself after all. It never harms the other person. So why hold onto bitterness, pain, r

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Cruel Love

You took my love and tainted it You took my heart and stabbed it You took all that I gave and twisted it into something dark You made me out to be the perpetrator, when it was you You accused and blamed me, when it was you You lied and cheated on my friend Yes she still loves you and blames herself She defends you and is blinded by your so called "goodness" You think you're the nice guy on the block Well you have a thing coming to you I see reality as it is, I see who you are

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Healthy Relationships

We all desire to have a relationship that is filled with happiness, joy, and — most importantly — love. Unfortunately, for many of us, we’ve been exposed to so many unhealthy relationships in our lives that we don’t know what a truly healthy relationship even looks and feels like. So here are 9 characteristics of a healthy relationship: 1. Both partners know that they are responsible for their own individual happiness. Many people unfortunately fall into the bad habit

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Injustice ..... or Justice?

I feel rage. I want to scream at him at the top of my lungs. I want to kick him in the balls and watch him squirm in pain. The injustice of the false accusations, treating me as though I were to blame and the one who mistreated HIM. The cruelty of his words aimed to hurt me like sharp daggers. How dare he treat me this way. I do not deserve it one bit. For two years, I gave nothing but my loving heart, my kindness, compassion, patience, understanding and support. I gave him all the beauty of my

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Poisonous, Venomous Ex Factor Creeps Up Again

The only thought that brightened my day when I first woke up is that I get to see my boyfriend in just one week's time. It was the first thought I had and that made me feel really excited and happy!!! Other than that, I am still shaking off the abuse that occurred with my most recent ex last night over email. It really shook me up pretty bad. My PTSD got triggered big time. I am much calmer now than I was last night, but it did take several glasses of win.e and an Ativan for me to stop shakin

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Thanksgiving Cheer!

I am in the holiday spirit full swing! Today is a day of thanks and gratitude for all that we have and appreciate. Happy Thanksgiving! Every day should be Thanksgiving! There is sooo much to be grateful for that we cannot even see..... piggybacking off of my last entry about gratitude, having gratitude for all that we DO have and all that we CAN and DO appreciate in life creates greater happiness overall. The more gratitude one has, the happier one can be. And today my heart is just so full of l

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New Thread ~ Spread the Positive

Hey peeps! If you are reading this, then you were attracted to the positive! I started a new thread on here in the DF Water Cooler and want to spread the word. It's called the Positivity Thread to share anything positive that happened, or anything positive that you feel like sharing really. I thought the site could use this. If it doesn't really take off no big deal, but I was thinking it may help us all out in a way. So here's the link! http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/128081-po

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Chinese Thanksgiving

Hoorrrrayyy!!!!! I am pardoned from having to attend Thanksgiving dinner this week with my small family unit. Each year, my sister gets to skip out on this event and goes somewhere fun with her boyfriend. Last year, I tried to bail out, but my mom guilt tripped me into joining them. So this year, I have once again brought up the fact that my sister will not be there (who is a saving grace plus my three nephews), that I am adult and should be able to skip the family event and do something on my o

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Happy Friday ~ Best Day of the Week!

Welcome to Friday! The day I've been waiting for all week long. I love waking up to a Friday morning, thinking, ahhhhhhhh, it's the final work day of the week, then two days of blissful relaxation and fun! If I were religious, I would bow down and praise the Lord for blessed and heavenly Fridays! But I am not religious, lol. Of course, on Fridays, I have more of a hard time working until 6 PM as I am supposed to do. I always feel like I should be let off at 3 or 4 PM.. it's only fair really,

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Flower Power!

This may be a lame/boring entry, but I just LOVE flowers. They make my heart sing! I love walking in fields of wildflowers of varied, brilliant colors. I love keeping fresh flowers in my home. This makes me so very happy. If I had fresh flowers in my room each day as I worked, my heart would be filled with joy each and every minute. Sometimes I will walk into flower shops just to smell them and experience their natural beauty. I used to buy myself flowers from time to time, especially when I was

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Astounding Nature

Nature and the beauty of this planet astound me. Every time I see a beautiful image, my heart swells with the greatest love and joy. It is so wonderful to be alive! I love this feeling. I love nature. It is so very healing, too. Every time I take a walk through a wooded forest blanketed with swooning trees and green moss, walking over the small rocks and tree roots, I feel at home and one with the universe. All troubles melt away. The green forest smell fills my heart and soul. This is where I b

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GGRRRRR ~ Responsibilities!

Dammit. This week I have much to take care of in my life and I just don't want to! I just found out they closed the toll booths on the Mass Pike and no longer offer cash tolls. It's all express lanes now where you need a scanner/transponder for your car so you can pay the toll when you drive through. Well, I don't have one. Dammit. So now I have to travel to that office this week to purchase one, which is a trip during the work day. Then my car is having problems, the check engine light is on ag

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