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About this blog

My life has had so many ups and downs. I have followed the road less traveled all my life, meaning my own individual path. This is a blog about those ups and downs and being on the road less traveled. 

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Entries in this blog

Bitterness

I am very bitter right now. I have a DF friend -- a male -- that I've been close friends with for months now. We email a lot, confide in each other and support each other. We both have relationships that we're committed to. My boyfriend is not comfortable with this friendship though and made me cut down contact with my friend. He says it's practically an emotional affair, or that if we continued our regular communications and continued confiding in each other, that it would be an emotional affai

RiverLight

RiverLight

Happy Friday ~ Best Day of the Week!

Welcome to Friday! The day I've been waiting for all week long. I love waking up to a Friday morning, thinking, ahhhhhhhh, it's the final work day of the week, then two days of blissful relaxation and fun! If I were religious, I would bow down and praise the Lord for blessed and heavenly Fridays! But I am not religious, lol. Of course, on Fridays, I have more of a hard time working until 6 PM as I am supposed to do. I always feel like I should be let off at 3 or 4 PM.. it's only fair really,

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RiverLight

I want you all to know....

Hey, someone pointed out to me that I've been blogging all about my happiness right now. I realize that this may rub some people the wrong way --- those on here who are struggling and having a hard go of it. I want people to know that I've struggled a LOT in my life, for most of my life. I've had on and off depressive episodes, I've had complete breakdowns and have been hospitalized twice in a psychiatric ward. I've been through many abusive relationships and I've been abused by multiple bosses.

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RiverLight

Salvaging the marriage

My husband and I are trying again. He starts his individual therapy next week, and I am to give him a list of things to work on in therapy (he asked me for this list). It's interesting how this occurred. I had gone out with another man one night while my husband and I were still separated. This man kissed me goodnight and then left, and I burst into tears, thinking about my husband. Then I went to a concert without my husband for the first time, we ran into each other at the concert and said hel

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RiverLight

Magical Snow & Love

It snowed for the first time last night! I feel so giddy like a little kid opening presents! Well, at least it's the first time I've seen it stick to the ground this year. It's the Christmas season, we have our Christmas tree up and decorated, our house smells like pine from the holiday candles burning and I want to just run outside and play in the snow right now in my pajamas. LOL. I want to play hooky and go skiing! I want to make snow angels and bake cookies! Forget this work thing. How can I

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RiverLight

In the Spirit of Christmas

The true spirit of Christmas.... forgiveness, neighborly/brotherly love, charity, and selfless giving. I am embracing the true spirit and meaning of Christmas this year in fullness. My heart is full right now of love for all. I do want to forgive others with all my heart... I want to let go of any pain from the past and forgive any enemies for their wrongdoings against me. Holding onto resentments only harms oneself after all. It never harms the other person. So why hold onto bitterness, pain, r

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RiverLight

I’m dating someone wonderful and amazing!!

I haven’t been on the blogs in a while! For the last 6 or so weeks, I have been dating the most amazing man!! I wrote about him before, but we're very much dating now. He treats me with kindness and respect, he is very funny, very fun, mature, down to earth, spontaneous and adventurous! We enjoy many of the same things and have a TON in common, almost freakishly so. He is creative like I am, he’s in a bluegrass band and sings (he has a great voice!!), he is intelligent, very positive, positive e

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RiverLight

Walking on Sunshine

Things have been really good lately, so I really have nothing to complain about. I've been walking on sunshine all this week, so nothing can really bother me. Even if I don't get this job I am in the running for it will be OK. I mean, I am hopeful and if I get rejected I'll naturally feel disappointed, but it's not the end of the world. My current job is definitely more than tolerable, in fact, it's been great lately. If I don't get this other job, I think I'll take a good long break from interv

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RiverLight

Channeling Experience

I wrote a post on this recently, then deleted it. I need to write about this though because it's sooooooo surreal and I don't know what to do with it or what to make of the whole experience. This is a spiritual journey and an awakening that I had.   Twelve years ago, I made an "attempt" and then "opened up" just afterwards and starting hearing many voices around me. Prior to my attempt, I did not hear ANY voices. At first, the voices were all dark, evil ones. Then I also experienced benevol

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RiverLight

Love Bitten ~ Once Bitten, Twice Shy

My therapist and friends all tell me not to give up on love. At heart, I truly am a love bug by nature, being a Libra birth sign. But as of late, I've wanted to close my heart up entirely and turn my back on the possibility. All I ever do is get hurt, or abused, or enter into some kind of bad relationship that ends up being hurtful, at least as of late. Maybe the right person really is out there for me, & maybe when/if he comes along, I can open my heart again. But he is going to need to be

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RiverLight

Big Life Decisions, Crossroads and Choices

Have you ever woken up and felt like you had strange dreams that left you disturbed but you couldn't exactly remember them and you don't know why you feel that way? I have vague recollections of friends from my graduate program, a camp setting, spilling bee.r on the rug and going sailing without my wallet, but that's it. Yet I have this really weird, disturbed feeling and cannot shake it off. For the last ten minutes I've been walking around in a dreamlike stupor, making my coffee and feeling sh

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RiverLight

Career Opportunity Arose!

I haven't been on here in a long time! I finally got the call for an interview regarding a Director level role in my field. I couldn't be more thrilled!!!!! The first interview is with HR, so that's just the initial screening before I can talk to the hiring managers. I had begun applying in January and received only one response that did not work out. This is the second response I've received in several months. AND, it's with a Web design company, just the type of company I've wanted to work for

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RiverLight

Leaving DF for Now ~ Farewell and Thank You

I have decided to leave DF, at least temporarily. It is now time for me to move on and spread my wings. I have a new website/blog that is taking off to focus on, a new Happiness Facebook page and an upcoming course that will take over my life for the next two months. DF has served me well, but it is time to now bid my farewells for now and wish everyone here all the best. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all those who have been generous and kind towards me, and to all those who have prov

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RiverLight

I AM Mantra.... I AM Successful

I AM strong, I AM capable, I AM successful, I AM driven, I AM smart, I AM an achiever. I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN..... I WILL! This is my new mantra! I CAN do this!!!!  

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RiverLight

The fight of my life

My husband is making separation and divorce SO much harder. It's the fight of my life. Thing is, I thought I had met "the one". I thought he was wonderful and amazing in the beginning. Then slowly, over time, the abuse started. It began in more subtle ways in the early stages. He was testing the waters, I know now. Then, just before we were to leave for the wedding and honeymoon, he exploded on me in an angry rage over a pair of pants I was to buy him. I knew then that I was in trouble, but it w

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RiverLight

Boyfriend Ramblings ~ Torn and Conflicted

I am having strong doubts about my relationship and feel conflicted. He now says that my relationship with my DF friend makes our own relationship less special---that he thought he was my main support, and now that I have someone else to go to, it lessens the specialiness of our relationship, in his mind. That to me is ridiculous. My online DF friendship cannot replace my IRL relationship. My boyfriend does support me as much as he can throughout the day while he's working, but it's not enough.

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RiverLight

Feel Like a Failure =(

I have not said this often, if ever, in my life, but right now I feel like I am failing. I have always been successful at work... always, until now. I had a bad interview today. And about 15 failed interviews over the last year. Needless to say, I feel like a dumb*ass. I prepped for it thoroughly, but I was not prepared at all for how it really went. They asked questions I was not prepared for; they wanted to switch last minute to a video call; and they switched one of the interviewers up on me;

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RiverLight

Black Widow

I have four boyfriends who died. Sadly, a black widow I am. The first was in high school, John. We were more just friends, but I cherish the time we spent together while at my grandparents' home after being kicked out of school. I don't recall how you died, but you were my buddy and were there for me, when my grandparents looked at me with scorn and harsh criticism. Then there was poor Pete from college who was stung by a swarm of bees while trying to save his dogs from the deer that were attack

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RiverLight

Bitterness Turned to Sadness

Now I am sad about my DF friend. He was a great support to me during the day when my boyfriend cannot talk and when I work from home all alone. I relied on our communications to help pull me through. And now that is gone. It brings tears to my eyes. I wrote an entry earlier about lost friendships, and I feel like this is yet another one, and it's all my boyfriend's fault for being jealous and insecure. I just don't get it. I mean, my DF is friend is married and very much in love with his wife. T

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RiverLight

Very Painful Breakup ~ Severely Disappointed

I am processing this break up. Today I feel very heartbroken, in a lot of emotional pain, and very disappointed. We talked about going to couples' therapy for months now. And he's been willing all this time. Then suddenly he changed his tune yesterday and said what good would it do. I feel he threw in the towel, so I broke up with him. I know what the problem is -- -he's not willing to take responsibility for his behaviors and reactions that were causing huge problems in our relationship. He was

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We Tied the Knot!!

We did it!!!! We are now officially husband and wife! What a gorgeous ceremony!!!! It couldn't have been more beautiful or perfect. Now we're enjoying our honeymoon. This place is absolutely spectacular!!!  So here we are, happy happy happy!!!! 💕💝💞    

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RiverLight

Sweetness Doesn't Belong in Business

I have been told I am a very sweet person. Well, that trait has hurt me in business in a multitude of ways. Previously, I used to say "yes" to everything, without boundaries or limits, and ended up overwhelming myself. I couldn't say no because I was "being nice" all the time. Well, with my current boss, as a former consultant and she as my client, she yelled at me from one of the very first moments I spoke with her. I wanted her to sign a contract work agreement, laying out the terms of payment

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RiverLight

Screwed Over.... Again

Well, he canceled the trip on me, and I have no idea why. Third time in a row that I've been screwed over in a relationship. I am beside myself with upset. Yesterday I was suicidal for the first time in months, and now I am not eating again I am so upset. What the hell happened I have no idea, but he changed his mind. Maybe he got scared, but it's no excuse. Plus now I am out $300 in airfare which is non-refundable. He could at least pay me half, but now he won't respond to any of my messages be

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RiverLight

New Apartment, Amazing Boyfriend, I'm In Love

I have been reluctant to write about my love life lately because the last time I did everything fell apart, but I must say that I am very happy right now and very content. I have a beautiful new apartment to move into with my boyfriend who is a true GEM of a guy. My last guy was amazing until I found out something that was a deal breaker for me, so I had to end it, but this one is absolutely incredible and perfect for me. He knows my past and promises he won't change on me or be someone he is no

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RiverLight

Ex Boyfriend Mess Up

My ex called last night to talk, acting as though nothing bad had happened between us and as though we are best friends again after hooking up the night before. I endured the conversation, then told him that I am not ready for friendship, that I have not exactly forgiven him, and that I am still in pain from what he did to me. He wanted to talk about dating with me... dating other people that is. I couldn't stomach it, even though the night before while drunk I had run my mouth about my own dati

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