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About this blog

My life has had so many ups and downs. I have followed the road less traveled all my life, meaning my own individual path. This is a blog about those ups and downs and being on the road less traveled. 

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Entries in this blog

Wanting the Deepest, True Love of my Life

I've dated plenty and have had plenty of relationships. At this stage in my life and at the age of 45, I am ready to find that truly special someone to be with for the rest of my life. I'm tired of just perpetually "dating". I've come close to marriage several times, I've talked about marriage with many partners, and was even engaged once briefly, but no one "fit the bill". It was never completely right for lifelong, and I knew it somewhere inside me that it wouldn't last. Plus, I am very free-s
RiverLight

RiverLight

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Walking on Sunshine

Things have been really good lately, so I really have nothing to complain about. I've been walking on sunshine all this week, so nothing can really bother me. Even if I don't get this job I am in the running for it will be OK. I mean, I am hopeful and if I get rejected I'll naturally feel disappointed, but it's not the end of the world. My current job is definitely more than tolerable, in fact, it's been great lately. If I don't get this other job, I think I'll take a good long break from interv
RiverLight

RiverLight

2

VP?

I got the gumption to apply for a VP role in my field. I haven't heard back on a single application, which is pretty damned frustrating. I am highly employable, so it's a bit maddening. I've applied for Director level roles, one notch above the role I am in now. But the VP role? I couldn't help myself, lol. It was far too tempting... it's a great, well-developed website at a startup company that is seven years old, with a lot of potential and a lot of appeal. It's a work-from-home job to boot. S
RiverLight

RiverLight

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Victory!!! HOOORAYY!!!!

As a result of my leaving work and complaining about my boss, now HR is involved in ALL employee communications with our boss, for ALL employees, not just me. HR tells me this is to ensure that all communications remain professional. So someone else must have complained too, or they performed an investigation and others complained and backed me up, or their lawyers or her husband is enforcing this new rule, but either way, I am victorious!!! My boss can no longer harm me! I feel soooooooooo good
RiverLight

RiverLight

2

Very Painful Breakup ~ Severely Disappointed

I am processing this break up. Today I feel very heartbroken, in a lot of emotional pain, and very disappointed. We talked about going to couples' therapy for months now. And he's been willing all this time. Then suddenly he changed his tune yesterday and said what good would it do. I feel he threw in the towel, so I broke up with him. I know what the problem is -- -he's not willing to take responsibility for his behaviors and reactions that were causing huge problems in our relationship. He was
RiverLight

RiverLight

14

Vent: Senior Title/Senior Role & Unclear Expectations

So I have a Senior title now at work, but what does that mean exactly? I had a new client meeting on Friday. Normally, my boss would have attended with me, the Director of Web Services, along with an Account Manager. Neither could attend, so my company CEO came with me. However, we never discussed who would take the lead in this meeting, he or myself, and he talked about how he wanted the meeting to be conversational, rather than them just answering a bunch of questions. The Account Manager prov
RiverLight

RiverLight

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Upside Down and Topsy Turvey

There's so much going on, some good and some not so good, and I'm starting to freak out -- or am I? I may only have four months of unemployment and I have to move AND find another job. I am not stressed like I have been in the past though, strangely enough. Perhaps because I have a bad cold and I cannot be bothered with stress, lol. Perhaps also because I am generally positive and optimistic, despite some periodic weaker moments. And perhaps because I have some time to move, but perhaps more so
RiverLight

RiverLight

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Life Issues

Unloading

I have been through the wringer. If it's not one issue or life crisis, there's been another, and it feels like I've gone through one bad experience only to enter another bad experience I have to then again escape from. For example, I was let go from my current company in July 2020 - they laid me off. I had had a difficult experience there. Then I was hired elsewhere, and that place turned into a nightmare, so badly then I ended up hospitalized and sick. Then my old company came back to me a
RiverLight

RiverLight in Life Issues

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Unhappy People LOVE to Drag Down Happy People

I am seeing a lot of envy on this other forum where I post, coupled by meanness and lashing out at me because I am truly very happy. GEEZ! Calm down, people, and gain control over your emotions. I fought for my happiness. I climbed over mountains and fought through miserable circumstances. I pursued what made me happiest, but don't condemn me because I have made it to the other side and you have not. Don't condemn me because you're miserable and cannot stand your own life. Make it happen. P
RiverLight

RiverLight

17

Two Weeks 'Til "I Do"!

It's exactly two weeks now until we get married! We leave sooner than that for our trip! I cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, I need a vacation like no other before. I am dying at work, ready to leave by like 3 PM every day, lol. I get my nails done this weekend, then I gotta pack then it's just one more week of work, then we're leaving on a jet plane!!!!!!  YIPPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!!   
RiverLight

RiverLight

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TW: My Ex Fiance Passed Away

Trigger Warning: I am in shock and feel immense sadness. I just found out that my ex fiance had passed away in August. I happened to Google him this morning for some unknown reason and found his obituary. No cause of death was mentioned. He had tried to leave this earth once before. He had always had a very rough time of things and was very mentally unstable. He and I broke up, what, I think four years ago now? He also had a drug and alcohol addiction problem that he struggled with, but I suspec
RiverLight

RiverLight

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Turning the Tide ~ Female Empowerment ~ Healing

Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin' the tree Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin' the tree Waiting your time, dreaming of a better life Waiting your time, you're more than just a wife You don't want to do what your mother has done She has done This is your life, this new life has begun It's your day - a woman's day It's your day - a woman's day Turning the tide, you are on the incoming wave Turning the tide, you know you are nobody's slave Who can hear al
RiverLight

RiverLight

2

Trying to Control Me...

I am a free spirit. When he becomes controlling, I feel like acting out and sometimes have. I want to rebel and let him know, you can't control me! How dare you! Why am I with someone who is trying to control me? Not always, but sometimes. Will he change his behaviors for me?? This song I feel is very much representative of who I am. A free spirit I will always be ---- my wings cannot be clipped, nor should they be. Wailin Jennys "Bird Song" I hear a bird chirping, up in the sky
RiverLight

RiverLight

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True Love Is..

True love is caring for and loving someone else more than yourself. True love is giving of your WHOLE self, not just a part of you, or a sliver of your heart. True love means giving it your all, 100%. I found true love, and will hold onto it for dear life. He is my everything, my world. If I didn't have him in my life, I would feel lost without a paddle. I don't ever want to lose him, not ever. I just re-read all of our early messages back and forth and started crying. We were good friends t
RiverLight

RiverLight

9

Toxic People 2

I said I was leaving DF -- I have and am. However, I need to get this off my chest. Some people are just plain TOXIC. They cannot help but meddle in others' lives, lie outright and manipulate people. I am done with these types of people. I don't deserve any crap from anyone. I do not lie, nor do I try to manipulate people or mess with people's lives. I say it like it is to people, and whether they like it or not, it's the plain truth. I am honest, loyal and I am a good friend. Thank God I have c
RiverLight

RiverLight

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TOTAL ASS>HOLE

This guy I've written about, that I thought I fell in love with, has proven himself to be unworthy of me. What a total dickwod. I called him tonight, and he was cold as ice, as though he could have cared less about me or about how I feel now. Just two weeks after saying he loves me, or was falling in love. So F him...  ****HIM AND THE HORSE HE RODE IN ON!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cared for him. Stupid me. Never again will I fall for someone's "charms". I was an awesome friend to him and this is what I get?
RiverLight

RiverLight

12

Torn.....

I don't know what to do. My boyfriend has exhibited some qualities I really don't like and cannot tolerate. When he is upset or overly anxious (mainly because I have upset him), he accuses me, attacks me, criticizes me and berates me. It is not OK, and I have told this flat out. I have given him an ultimatum bc it has happened too many times now and I felt beaten up as a result. Then on top of that, he manipulates in arguments. He needs things to be on an equal playing field, even when he's most
RiverLight

RiverLight

2

Topsy Turvy Roller Coaster Life

The last two months have been a serious up and down roller coaster ride. I am ready to get off this train now. I need stability, and the only stable things in my life right now are my job & my living situation. My romantic relationships have wreaked havoc in my life... what else is new. I ran into my ex three times last week.... Friday night I saw him at a concert and he gave me a big smile. I actually smiled back, then kicked myself the next day thinking he doesn't deserve my smile. But
RiverLight

RiverLight

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Time to be Productive!

I thought of a new avenue to try for job searching. Why I hadn't thought of this before is beyond me. Social media! Of course! I have active LI, Twitter and G+ accounts with a significant following in my field, which I can expand to include companies I am interested in & additional experts in my field. Then I can start posting about relevant topics, sharing expert articles and tips and see where it leads me. Maybe I can attract an employer this way? I am sick and tired of chasing employers d
RiverLight

RiverLight

2

Throwback Thursday ~ Closer to Fine

Last night I ran into Zoe, my ex's best friend. Now this really threw me for a loop and almost ruined the night. I haven't seen my ex or Zoe in eight years. My ex was abusive. I haven't written about this one yet, but this was another abusive ex (I've had several). One time, he took a beautiful gift he gave me and smashed it into pieces on the stairwell. He also cheated on me and lied to me numerous times. Seeing Zoe brought back some bad memories. I was not happy to see her but gave her a hug a
RiverLight

RiverLight

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Through Tough Times, Have Things to Look Forward To

This is going to be long. Both my fiance and I are having a rough time right now. Together, we are doing great and are strong, so that's not an issue. But we are both facing enormous and mounting work stress. His job is now 100% commission and his checks have significantly dwindled lately, to no fault of his own but due to dysfunction within the company. He is beyond stressed about the dwindling income, naturally, which makes things harder for us financially. I am very stressed about my own job
RiverLight

RiverLight

2

This Week Has Sucked

Despite my best efforts, this week has truly sucked. My boss's complete lack of communication is getting to me.... the way she runs this company is getting to me. It's horrible. Now I feel desperate all over again to leave. I am discouraged about the job search. I keep receiving rejections and wonder when the right one will come along. I am sick of this process... it's exhausting. I feel I have done everything except for cold calling companies & begging them to give me a job.   I owe a
RiverLight

RiverLight

2

Therapy With my Boyfriend

I joined my boyfriend in his individual therapy to talk about what he does to me that is so upsetting. It was a bit rough he said. Most of what I had to say was not news to him, but I'm sure it was hard for him to be the focal point talking about what he does that is not OK. He admitted he's had recurring thoughts since that he cannot do this, that change will be too hard, and that maybe we should end things. I am now worried. What I am asking for is respect whenever he's upset and for him to fi
RiverLight

RiverLight

4

The Sweet Taste of Success

Wow oh woweeeeeee! I am sooooooooo excited!!!! I am seeing the results of my work, and I am feeling a sense of great success.& accomplishment. I can hardly believe it!!!! I doubt myself ALL the freaking time at work, mainly because my field naturally lends to that, but also because I just doubt and question myself. What I do at work is both an art form AND a science. There is creativity and strategy involved, but there are also certain steadfast rules, meaning very specific DOs and DON'
RiverLight

RiverLight

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The Road Less Traveled ~ Come With Me

I think of that time in Nepal when those old ladies told us hungry hikers, "It's not rice time yet!", LOL. I think of when I hiked the Himalayas for a full month without washing my hair, and the time we got lost and had to sleep in a cave. I think about the time I lived in my tent in Alaska, gutting fish for a summer, and created a home on the side of a mountain, covered with fish guts each and every day. Then of the time I traveled out west for a year all on my own, working at a ski resort as a
RiverLight

RiverLight

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