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  • GSpolar

    Does it matter?

    By GSpolar

    What we do matters.   They are real souls, the 10 people who are watching DF, who are so scared of the stigma, imprisoned at 'home' to such a degree, or hurting so deeply..... 10 are watching at any given moment for every 1 who dared to even sign up anonymously. If you read this, you probably have encouraged at least one person anonymously, with nothing to gain, just out of love.   And for every 1, there were really 10, check out 'Activity/All Users' to see for yourself.  
    • 17 comments
    • 7,026 views
 

Bullies are just envious

I have been a target of bullying for almost all of my life - both online and offline. The other day, I experienced bullying on another forum, so I read up (again) on bullies and whom they target. It's not what you may think - yes, schoolyard bullies may pick on the more vulnerable kid in the pack. But adults? Adults typically bully those whom they envy and those who threaten them or their status in some way. My old boss was like that, and he bullied me.  So I got into it a bit with this mem

RiverLight

RiverLight

 

At a loss...

Even if I'm not the only autistic person who gets extremely territorial over their special interest(s), it's definitely become a ginormous problem in the last five years or so. I've honestly reported and/or blocked people in the past cause I'm so territorial over them; plus, I think I may have even scared a few people off in the past cause of it, online or otherwise. During this pandemic, I've had a lot of time for thinking cause, let's face it, there isn't much else to do, and I genuinely

DialAForAlan

DialAForAlan

 

Everyone is Struggling Right Now

No one is alone - none of us, though it may feel that way. I read Facebook posts from friends who are really having a hard time right now and who are reaching out for comforting words and love from all their friends. It's a really crappy time in the world between COVID, the fires out west, ridiculously messy politics and soaring unemployment.  I have had my share of bad days lately too. I have some better days and some super depressing days. I'm unemployed, but for the first six weeks or so

RiverLight

RiverLight

 

What IS it about me?

What the hell? I go on a different forum, and yet again, someone finds me and attacks me! I am constantly being attacked and bullied on forums. I'm not talking about DF - I'm talking about a variety of forums I have joined over the last many years. I am SO fed up with it and am wondering what the hell? All I am is myself -- I give advice, I try to help, I am honest yet compassionate. And yet, over and over again, I get targeted and attacked by toxic individuals. Wash, rinse, repeat! Is it me OR

RiverLight

RiverLight

 

Perspective

I wanted to write something positive.   It's been a pattern for me to write here when my world is ending, and to be silent when it's not. I feel that I have turned a corner, and I am much more optimistic about my future than I have ever been.   To be honest, I'm becoming very thankful for the impact COVID has had on me. Please know that I understand it's damage on a world scale far outweighs that, but for me, I think it's saved me. Don't get me wrong, it's been a pe

MrMisery

MrMisery

 

Broken

Do you hear my broken soul Crying out to yours? Will you listen to my heart And feel it beat for you? Without your love and guidance, I would disappear like mist Or unwanted smudges on a page. For you calm the endless storms That rage inside my mind.            

DialAForAlan

DialAForAlan

 

Messages of Light and Love From Beyond

Messages of light and love: Be compassionate with yourself and be kind to yourself. You've been through SO much in life, and you've fought many battles thus far. You are a warrior spirit -- keep fighting to make it through. And you will.   Heal your wounds through the gifts of kindness and love from others. Embrace those who care for you and those who show love for you, and give them your caring heart in return. The blessings will be manifold.   The gift of giving hel

RiverLight

RiverLight

 

Angels and Demons

So, through my channeling experience (cont'd from my last post), I experienced Angels and Demons, Satan, spirits of light and of dark, and I spoke with the Lord our God. I experienced it all. Their energies moved my body at times, and I felt their energy within and around me as it occurred. They spoke through me and to me. They read my thoughts, and spoke my exact thoughts and questions out loud through my own mouth. I talked to my deceased family members and to old friends and loved ones who ha

RiverLight

RiverLight

 

Channeling Experience

I wrote a post on this recently, then deleted it. I need to write about this though because it's sooooooo surreal and I don't know what to do with it or what to make of the whole experience. This is a spiritual journey and an awakening that I had.   Twelve years ago, I made an "attempt" and then "opened up" just afterwards and starting hearing many voices around me. Prior to my attempt, I did not hear ANY voices. At first, the voices were all dark, evil ones. Then I also experienced benevol

RiverLight

RiverLight

 

Keeping Spirits Up During Unemployment & COVID

Right now life is a challenge. I am not working, it's COVID, I am not finding many jobs to apply for and I am a bit bored. I go to the beach at least once a week for therapy. I went yesterday with my husband, and today I am going to the beach alone, which I don't mind doing at all.  It is very cathartic for me -- the lapping ocean waves, the seagulls, the sand, the sun and just good 'ole R&R. The beach does wonders for me mentally and emotionally so I am going as much and as often as po

RiverLight

RiverLight

 

me

im tired. tired like like ive never known. not sure if my a.d. isnt helping anymore or what. the times of feeling bad are getting closer and closer together, when usually it would be months between. i feel like im just a shell of my former self. i hear myself when i do "laugh" and it sounds so hollow. days flow into one another same old same old. i KNOW intellectually the steps i need to take to feel better, but whats the use? it always comes back to this. I have no one to talk to. My best frien

libbieann

libbieann

 

Ur hekau

".. Cause Magic isn't a" ding an sich", just casually out there, to be used and exploited..Magic is not a force, just laying around."   She sipped at the glass of riesling I had poured her.    "Magic is INVOLVEMENT. Magic can be a place, an object, an act, a thought, or even a dream.. Magic can be anything you want it to be, but only someone who has ATTACHMENT and INVOLVEMENT can "create" magic. Magic can be a ritual act in the Crowleyan sense too.. Not that Thelema, ritual m

samadhiSheol

samadhiSheol

 

Does this site help anyone?

Does anyone find help on this site?  It just seems like there's a bunch of us trapped in our own miseries and we come here and post about it, but how does that help anyone?  I'm stuck in this rut of depression and I *know* what to do (exercise, get out, just do things, blah blah blah) but I have no motivation.  It feels like my life is over and I'm just waiting to die.  I'm working from home which I thought would be paradise but I can't focus, and I feel guilty that I'm being paid and not doing
 

Identity

Most of my session today was about identity. I'm struggling to find where I fit in under the ace-spectrum. As part of my therapy, she is helping me find my term(s), although labels aren't necessarily important, I would like to find mine.  I know I'm ace. I figured that out a few years ago, when I really started to question why I didn't like sex, why I never wanted sex, why it grossed me out. I found the term "asexual." It's tough being married and learning you're ace. It's also hard to find

cayllin

cayllin

 

therapy day 3

My therapist encouraged me to journal. I literally just finished my session, and I want to unpack it a little. She asked me about how I do with conflict, we talked about fear, about having opinions and it's ok for people to disagree with me. She encouraged me to journal for me, not for others. I don't feel like I journal for others. This is a convenient place for me to do so, so this is where I write.  My homework is to talk to my mom about depression and, possibly, my sexuality. I am afrai

cayllin

cayllin

 

Therapy Homework

The past few weeks have been good for therapy. My therapist is trying to help me learn to be more assertive and to not take husband's moods personally. She says husband's moods are his, and he's responsible for them, not me. He has not been good about respecting my boundaries (slapping my butt, pinching my nipples), and as many times as I've said no, stop it, I don't like it, he hasn't stopped and he laughs it off. So my "homework" is to reinforce those boundaries and try to be more assertive wi

cayllin

cayllin

 

*yawn*

Some good things about COVID: - People with a sense of community get to exercise it - People with a sense of compassion get to show it - People with a sense of duty get to use it - Chance to develop art skills - Chance to deepen garden skills - Chance to practice cooking skills - More opportunities to sleep in - Scientists can hear things in the planet they've never heard before - Humans are humbled before nature as guests, not creators - Sweden generates even more curiosi

Tymothi

Tymothi

 

When There Is Hope

I've been down lately. The same as many people. I'm scared for my future. I'm scared of time passing me by, I'm scared that things won't be the same on the other side of this COVID situation. I am a small business owner, which means I might lose a lot. At this point, flip a coin and see how we go. When I get really down, I do drink a bit. I'm always hesitant in explaining that, because we jump to stereotypes about people; I'm not some angry and violent drunk. I'm a highly function

MrMisery

MrMisery

 

My Corrupt Former Employer

I was recently laid off due to COVID. And honestly, I am relieved. I am far happier now that I am no longer dealing with such a corrupt, unhealthy and toxic company. The leadership throughout from the CEO and downwards was lacking in ethics, morality and effective leadership. I was asked to lie to my clients. I had a co-worker above me who tried to take all the credit for my hard work right in front of me while we were on a client call. My boss took credit for all my hard work and lied to t

RiverLight

RiverLight

 

Fitness Goals

So I thought that I would add an update and comparison after a week on the high calorie, protein rich, low impact exercise diet  2.2Lbs gained, extra inch on my waist and stomach doesnt look as caved in, i am happy so far with the slow and steady gain, i feel a lot better in myself. I do not need to sleep as much throughout the day and mostly my mood has improved. 

Ratvan

Ratvan

 

Part 3 (of 3): Accepting Isolation

Part 3 (of 3): Accepting Isolation So you're okay with the idea of being a seasoned, wiser person, but you're worried you'll be alone because everything familiar is tied to the old way of thinking. There was security in it, and slipping out from under that blanket is scary. Even the people who inspired you to see your mistakes suddenly seem imperfect and insincere. There you are. Sitting alone. Seeing things differently. You feel improved, but you can't see much to reinforce it. There

Tymothi

Tymothi

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