Katie!!!

Glad to have you on the Z-train! It's an awesome place to share and talk with people that understand what you are going through.

Enjoy the ride!

Tink

Welcome KatieEm. I'm glad you're feeling ok on the zoloft so far. I agree with Miracle, that's a long time to wait to see a psychiatrist! I hope your primary doctor is good. I just took the plunge and made an appointment with a new psych provider and a new counselor. The counselor can see me tomorrow but the psych NP can't see me for a month! I really hope this turns out to be the right match. I've been having these issues for a year now, it's a wonder I haven't ended up in a mental hospital. (I probably would have if I had had a decent choice of one to go to.)

Miracle, what do you do if you have a problem while your doc is away? Do they have other doctors that you can call? When I started this adventure of new meds, the practice I ended up with was really good as far as covering for eachother except that the psychiatrist I saw never returned his calls, he always had someone else do it. And he tweaked on my meds for nearly a year and didn't make me any better!

JAM, I actually envy you a little bit. My kids are all in school (some are done with school). I never really got to stay home with them because I had to support the family. Now I have quite a bit of paid medical leave saved up buy I can't really use it because staying home makes my anxiety worse and I think I'll always feel guilty for the years I missed when they were little and I either worked or slept all the time.

(Maybe I should change my name to Eeyore. I'm such a ray of sunshine.

Hello KatieEm!



Thrilled you found us!!


-Bean

Hey everyone.
Alinam, My psychiatrist told me before she went away to go see my gp while she was gone. That has been useless as a 15 minute appointment doesnt get you anywhere and she isnt a psychiatrist. The last time I saw my psychiatrist was early October and back then I was on Avanza (mirtazapine) and it gave me panic attacks when it kicked in so I went to my gp and asked her to put me on Zoloft. I have had a pretty rough ride on Zoloft so far and my gp really has only ever prescribed Lexapro to her patients, so I feel a little abandoned .
I am seeing a psychologist weekly at the moment, but she doesnt know anything about meds and she cant really do any therapy with me until I have stabilized.
Thank goodness for DF, its there 24/7!
I have a question to ask, has anyone else here experienced the nausea, shaking and weakness (mostly in the legs)? Did it go away?
I am on day 24 and time is going soooo sllloooowww.
I am scared it will never get better .
If anyone has a 'I was sick as a dog but the Zoloft eventually kicked in' story, I'd really love to hear it.

Hi Ali, I also used to find work good for my anxiety it kept my mind occupied and busy but, this last episode was too much. Fortunately i have been putting money aside so with my sick pay i can manage for now. Try not to feel guilty,My dad used to feel guilty on missing on us growing up (he worked away from home for years) but he makes it up with the grandkids.

Hi I need a miracle!
I had the jelly legs as I call them for a couple of months. It seemed to happened when I went up on a dose or didn't sleep much. It goes away, actually I am on month 4, and it took until month 3 for the leg issue to stop. I also had it in my upper arms too. The nausea went away about 3 weeks for me. I have to eat before I take it in the mornings or I still will have a upset stomach. With the nausea, you will wake up one day and it will be gone! I lost 8 pounds during those first 3 weeks of no appetite and nausea, but unfortunately I gained them all back after I could finally eat.

I hope I helped you, good luck!

My depression and anxiety got so bad that I experience what I understand to be derealization. I could be at work at my desk or in my own house and I'd look around and everything looked unreal and unfamiliar. I was so terrified that, to this day, I can't sit back and enjoy at day at home. I feel fairly comfortable in the house in the evenings when the family is around, although they get so wild that I get agitated easily, but on the weekend in broad daylight, it reminds me of those days when I honestly thought I was going to go crazy.

It would almost have been easier to go through this when the kids were younger and didn't notice that I had been crying or that I was looking anxious. Now they're old enough to see that something is wrong and I hate that they have to go through this with me. They've tried so hard to make me feel better. Maybe, by the time I have grandkids, I'll be able to enjoy them.

I know how you feel, Miracle. I went to see my gp, who assured me that if my new psychiatrist wouldn't keep writing for the ativan until I could come off it, she would write for it. Then she went on a two week vacation!!. The psychiatrist who started me on the trileptal is taking a two week vacation for Christmas. . .honestly! Who do they think is going to care for their patients when they take off for so long? The emergency rooms??! Hah!

Ali

I had the same thing with the derealization stuff. It is the worst fear in the world to experience. The only way I can explain it is that I think I am tripping on LSD or some horrible drug. I would get it and the dizziness. It just wasn't attacks for me. It is like the derealization lasted for days or weeks at a time. I am sure glad you brought that feeling up, even though, I would rather never think of it again!!!!!

Say a prayer for me tomorrow. I am going to the dentist in Baton Rouge. My first time back to Baton Rouge since my attacks. My husband is off work and going with me. I am going to drive over there and I am hoping I don't have to change seats with him. I broke my tooth yesterday evening eating candy! It hurts! I don't like the Dentist too much either! (clarification, I love mine, I just hate the work)I have always been extremely nervous going. I don't mind the drilling, it is the numbness that causes the anxiety for me. The not being able to feel myself swallow. I am ok with the top teeth being worked on, just not those dreaded bottom. When I was young with small cavities I would have the dentist drill without a shot. I was scared of shots when I was small but quickly overcame that when I had to give myself allergy shots. So, I guess I have overcome some fears in my life! I would try to find one in the town close to me but it is a small town and the doctors and dentists aren't the best quality. I guess Baton Rouge isn't as bad as driving to New Orleans, at least I know my way around Baton Rouge well. ...so I am facing my worst two fears tomorrow, one totally unrational and I am hoping I will overcome it. I have to at least try...if not for me, for my baby. I am sure when he gets old enough he will be asking to go BR for something. It is so weird how anixety hits us with familiar day to day activites we used to do and turns them into irrational fears so intense we avoid them at all costs. I am not going to beat myself up if I can't drive all the way. I have to get myself a plus for trying if I fail!

My small upped dose has given me a little more anxiety the last few days too, so I have to get through that too! I want to stay at this level and I am going to give it another week to see if the anxiousness passes along with my upset stomach, which I can't blame entirely on the dose. I think it is a combo of the new vitamins!

Take care and I will post tomorrow evening after the dreaded appointment!

Thankyou all so much for your responses .
Jam, I am off work too because it was all too much, I am glad I am not alone in that regard. I feel like I should be at work but my boss is understanding. Somedays I think that work would be a really good distraction but I am so scared that I will freak out. The depression and side effects makes me so unmotivated to do anything. I have lost interest in doing anything that would normally 'take me out of myself'. At least when I was just feeling anxious I could garden.
Thanks Yoshimimi1, its so hard to remember that side effects are just side effects and that they will eventually diminish. I think if I felt better in the head I would be able to cope with them a bit better. I hope the dentist visit went well. The numbness always freaks me out too, I always ask if I can go without the anaesthetic but they always insist I have it. When I am well, it is funny the little things that freak me out, like that, but I can drive 8 hrs on my own to visit me father and not freak out at all. When I am unwell, even making a cup of tea is a trauma. In regards to the derealization, my first bout of unwellness occured after a once off experience of LSD. I have regretted taking it ever since. The derealization was exactly what I felt when I took it. Taking drugs is like russian roulette for some people. Sometimes it feels like the trip never ended.
Alinam, I started with the derealization in my late teens when I first went through anxiety and depression. It got better when I was on Moclobemide, but in my late twenties when I went onto Cipramil, it never really went away. Its so frustrating! I know who I am and whats what but my hands and feet dont really feel connected to me and the air feels really thick. When I was doing well, the feeling persisted but it was okay because I kinda felt cushioned from the 'stuff' life can throw at you.
I have another question . I have had moments lately of feeling a tiny bit better. My thinking is clearer. In some ways though, I am finding this really difficult because I feel like the med has done all its going to do and that I have to 'snap out of the depression and anxiety' and I just dont think I can do it yet. Its like there are pieces of the jigsaw puzzle missing.Is this just part of the journey? Is this a sign that the med is starting to work?
I think too much!

Yoshi!!!

I hope all went well at the dentist!! I am a vetran of the dentist chair! I'm at the dentist at least 3 times a month! My teeth are HORRIBLE. Not to look at, to look at them you would think they were perfect but it's the insides of them and the roots that are bad. It's heriditary, so I'm basically doomed for life. I've had about 10 root canals now, and I have about $10,0000 worth of work coming up for my teeth in the next few months- Crowns, Caps, Implants, and some porcelain inlays. Luckily my Mom is paying for it all since my insurance ran out for my dental months ago! I have an expensive dental life ahead of me But I do love going as my dentist is the BEST! and he gives me the gas so I'm having a ball the whole time I'm there! I feel nooooooooooooooooo pain! I had 2 root canals on Tuesday so now I'm on anti-biotics. Feel like someone punched me in the mouth!

I get anxiety whenever I go, mainly cause I freak out that I'll have to go to the bathroom while in the middle of it so that makes me have to go even more. Drives me!!!

I hope it all went well for you!!!

Tink

Hi everyone!

Haven't been on in a while. Been able to go back to work and glad. I am on day 25 I think of the Z train. My sleeping has gotten great thank goodness. The panic attacks are few and far between.

Can't remember who asked about the weak legs but I only had that for the first week. The Panic Attacks are the hardest for me as I am not used to them and have trouble not being able to ignore them. I get very emotional when they come and my hubby feels helpless. We try to go over what brought them on and work through the reasoning and that seems to work except that I usually am crying and he feels helpless cause I can't stop and you know men they like to fix everything :)

I know I have a ways to go but everything is looking up finally. I'm actually looking forward to christmas for a change (used to be my favourite time of year).

Have a suggestion to share with everyone. We have done this in our family for years and a lady I work with liked the idea and started doing it with hers so I figure why not tell you guys. At dinner every night each person takes a turn and tells their favourtie moment of the day. Could be a funny story or something nice that happened or something they enjoyed. It has to be a positive thing not complaining. We find this puts everyone in a good mood and feeling connected. Have fun trying it!

Rats!! I just spent half an hour writing a post and then when I tried to post it, the site said I wasn't logged in and I lost it. Poo!

Oh well.

I started having panic attacks in my early twenties but don't really remember the derealization feeling, although my memory is really terrible. I do know that when the anxiety was at it's worst over the last year I did get dizzy along with the DR feeling and the ativan helped both. Weird!

I actually feel like it was probably better for me that I had to keep working. Folks in my family tend to become shut-ins when they stop working because there's nothing to force them to get out of the house. My grandad hadn't gone more than a couple blocks from home in years. If I can just tough it out another ten years or so, I can retire on a pension and I can feel like I deserve to stay home if I like.

Yoshi, good luck with your teeth.

Good to see you MJ. I'm really hoping I have a good Christmas this year cause last year was really yucky, and I really love Christmas.

Ali

Hey Gang!
Well, I did it. I drove to Denham Springs, which is the town away from Baton Rouge! Yippe! We stopped to eat before the appointment. I was very nervous and felt a little shortness of breath. Like my mom said, it is just a road!

Bad news, the dentist said it was deep and might need a root canal from my xray. When we got in the room, it ended up being small. I lucked out on that, but then they tell me that I need 3 fillings and my crown taken off because I have a cavity under it. Go figure! They put a crown on to prevent those things and I get a cavity under it. That will be expensive sense it is Gold! I have a small teeth grinding problem at night and have to wear a 500 dollar mouth guard. Gold is the only thing that can withstand the teeth grinding because it gives. I have broke a lot of teeth and have even broke my mouth guard in the first three months but my sensitivity is extremely better with the guard. My dad grinds too, I guess it is hereditary. Thank goodness it is my last tooth in the back at the top! haha. I told my family don't be stealing my teeth when I die! LOL. It is embarrasing, but... The other cavity is a broken filling too, due to grinding. The one today, I guess was just good ol' coca cola!

We stopped and bought a new 9 ft "HOHO" tree as my son calls it. He was excited! We had an old 7.5 foot one with a stream of lights in the middle that was out last year. Yippe too! They were on sale, remember guys I am CHEAP! He hung up alot of oraments and broke one. He was upset and we told him it was fine.

It was a good day. I can't say anxiety free, but at least I had a valid reason for the anxiety. That I don't mind at all!

Have a good weekend everyone!