I fell into a major depression 2 years ago and since then my life has completely changed. I lost my job because of it and I'm so scared because I'm living alone and can't pay my bills anymore. I never leave the house, I'm too depressed. Is this type of depression normal? I can't do anything, it's so bad. I have been in the mental hospital 3 times and nothing helps. I've been on meds even before this happened and changed them a couple times after but nothing works. I feel absolutely horrible every single minute of every day. I never heard of anyone being as depressed as I am, nothing helps me. I want to die so bad but I am afraid to **** myself. I don't have insurance because I'm not working either. I'm so stuck and scared right now. Is there any hope for me? I can't see myself living like this for another whole year, it's unbearable.
Posted 29 December 2013 - 04:56 PM
Have you tried switching medications? I can help. I'm sorry you're going thru such hell. I think a lot more people feel the same, but are afraid to admit it. It takes strength in that, you know? So yeah, I think there is hope for you.
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Posted 29 December 2013 - 05:10 PM
Thanks for replying. I did switch the meds and they just don't change anything. Maybe they help motivate in some ways but they don't change the horrible way I feel or make me want to work or leave the house. I feel like nothing at all will ever help me, I am so miserable. I don't know how I can ever work again but then how will I survive and I want to have fun again like I used to. I can't stand just sitting here day in and day out it's a nightmare.
Posted 29 December 2013 - 05:18 PM
You may have to give your new meds more time before you have any meaningful change. I'm in my 3rd month after doing an increase in dosage and still am not 100 percent where I want to be yet. Depression does really terrible things to our minds and can make us feel hopeless, but it can get better if you give your therapy a chance. I hope you feel better soon.
Current meds - 30mg Buspirone
I am not a doctor, my advice is based on my own personal life experiences. For professional help, please see your doctor.
Posted 29 December 2013 - 09:04 PM
My depression is bad like this. My meds keep me stable enough to manage the day and that is about it. It takes a long time to find a good med combination and even then it my change down the line. You just have to keep up with the doctor and counseling and whatever you can muster yourself to do to help make things better.
I just want to be loved.
Posted 16 January 2014 - 04:13 AM
River, I'm so sorry to hear about how horrible you've been feeling. Through it all, have you got a support system of any kind in the way of friends or family? At least one real life person you can turn to when you're at your worst? I've been alone while being unemployed and it near scared me to death. I can only imagine what it might be doing to you. I really apologize for coming in on this a day late and a dollar short, but I saw your post about eating, and was alarmed.
There have been some helpful suggestions about meds - and I can't speak for anyone else - but I know that during my worst period of constant depression, it was the situation that was causing it, and no amount of medication could change that. I was lucky enough to be able to figure out how to get out of it, but I know that not everyone can. Do you live on your own? How do your friends and/or family treat you? Is there anyone you can really trust nearby to talk to or even just be in the same room with for a little comfort or a brief feeling of security? I know there is help for you! Just hang in there, ok?
And by all means - please EAT something! *hugs* Feel free to talk about what's bothering you here any time you like! We're all slowly emerging from the nightmare of the holidays, so replies might come a little slowly, but there are a lot of people here willing to listen and support you in any way we can. Keep posting! We care!
Posted 16 January 2014 - 04:28 PM
My depression is caused by a situation that will never end. That's why I don't want to live anymore. I can't live with what is happening, I can't escape, can't change it and can/t find a way to deal with it. I have my ex boyfriend for support but that is all. He is with someone else now though and its causing an issue between them. He is all I have. He left me because he couldn't deal with what I'm going through but he still loved me. I just don't know how much longer I can deal with this. I have no future and even my past wasn't stable, although I had a full life. I would take that back any day. Thanks for the support I have been eating but not much.
Posted 16 January 2014 - 07:30 PM
River11 Sorry to hear your feeling so awful. I'm in the same place right now too, Wondering if I'm gonna be able to keep my job but trying to keep faith that things will get better. I hold on to any good feelings I have no matter how small to get me through the day and try to keep a vision of my wellness and who I could be without this crippling depression. Remember your not alone and others have been where we are now and pulled through it. Take Care
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