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I'm About Ready To Just Give Up...

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#1 fat_cole


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Posted 21 June 2013 - 09:22 PM

I am having a really hard time with my depression. I get better, then continue to relapse into major depressive symptoms again. It feels like I finally get back on my feet just to have the rug pulled out from under me time and time again. At this rate, I cannot expect to do much of anything with my life but suffer. I really wish I knew what to do. The situation feels incredibly hopeless. My wife doesn't understand how difficult doing an engineering program is to begin with, then add my bulls*** depression to the mix, then add my wife asking me random ass questions that do not require my immediate attention, then add 4 children constantly interrupting me. I have nowhere else to go to study, as some of these classes are online. My wife finally took the kids to go see a movie so I can study, but we can't afford to keep doing that. Now that they're at the movie, I'm feeling too low on energy and concentration to continue studying. I've been at this for 8 hours today and have accomplished next to nothing. 


The only thing keeping us afloat financially are my military education benefits. I have to keep a full time student status just to pay the bills, I don't have the energy or capacity to go full time, there are no jobs to be had in this armpit of the US economy town... Even when times are good economically , there are still no jobs around here. I can't afford to move, I can't afford to stay, SSA denied my disability claim, if I appeal I have no idea how long it would take or if I would even get approved if I did. Feeling useless is the worst part of this entire thing. I can't concentrate long enough to come up with a decent plan and my wife has become completely flaky and dependent upon her parents for everything. I can't depend on her to come up with a good plan for us, her lack of planning ability only drags us down further when I'm incapacitated. I'm up s*** creek without a paddle... 


Anyone else dealing with a situation like this?

Severe Treatment Resistant Major Depression - 1st diagnosed November 2007


Current Medications/Treatment:         

Imipramine 250mg x1 daily                   

Donepezil - 10mg x1 daily

Adderall - 20mg x2 daily

Clonazepam - 5mg x2 daily

ECT - 11 sessions since March 2012

Psychotherapy - 30 min. x1 monthly


#2 AloneGuy



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Posted 21 June 2013 - 09:39 PM


Ya know what?  I have never been even close to a situation like yours, except for the depression part.

But I wanted to let you know I read this and I'm VERY sorry you are struggling. :verysad3:   You're obviously having a rough time and are very frustrated.

That really sucks, and I'm sure others can relate.


It can be good to vent though can't it?

Depression, Anxiety/Panic
Meds: Zoloft 200mg, Klonopin 1mg

#3 rhyl


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Posted 22 June 2013 - 04:28 PM

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time right now. I can absolutely relate to the difficulty with the depression and low energy and lack of concentration and no money - I'm there, and it feels like it will never, ever get better.  I have learned that I have to take things, not day-by-day, but more moment-by-moment, in order to survive.  Doing that, I'm starting to see that everything isn't always stagnant; in fact, things - including the depression and the finances - are constantly changing.  It helps a little, and I am told it will continue to get better.


Are you seeing anybody about your depression right now? I know therapy can be expensive, and I don't know if you have insurance or not, but there are lots of places where you can get therapy on a sliding scale fee, and some where you can get it for free.  If you were in the military, there should be additional benefits you can access.  


Let us know how things are going.

        :cat_jumps:   Cultivate mindfulness.


Remember that everything is temporary.    :1cat: 

#4 computerboy



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Posted 22 June 2013 - 08:17 PM

im so sory to hear that, i dont know how is in other countries about militar or gov help, but maybe u can go back to the army? if you are studying something of engineer then just hang out a little because after finish it probably you will get good money for it (its one of the best payed things, doesnt matter where u are) and i understand you need concentration ( i work in something when noise affects me a lot) why dont u try go to a library or some place where you can stay and study or make your job with no problems? dont give up... you have a family, and your wife might sound like is not helping u at all, but she might be being affected too, try to talk to her directly and tell how bad is your situation, she should supports u a little bit more

"sweet is ain't that sweet without the sour"

#5 kenseth03



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Posted 22 June 2013 - 08:59 PM

Im sorry for your problems. In ALOT of ways I can relate to your situation. And while I'm not great at giving out advise I do hope for the best for you and your family.

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