Thanks everyone for the feedback, I really appreciate it
Forgot to mention two other things that are very relevant:
-Before my breakup but while things were rough with my partner, he suggested I bring my SO in for a couples session. So I did. Granted, my SO was definitely not right for me and the relationship was crap, but my T ended up cornering my SO and just telling him how crap he was, what he should be changing, and that I had made a decision to move out. I didn't speak one word in this session, and was bit shocked. My SO was sooo angry after the session.
I brought it up with my T later on, and he apologized and said that he normally doesn't let his own biases interfere with a couple's session but with mine he did.
Also, my T is fairly recently divorced and I think he's single.
I think I overlooked this post. Those 2 things I bolded and underlined are red flags to me.
Your sitch has been interesting discussion, I talked to my cousin who is a clinical psychologist practicing overseas for her view on romantic (and later sexual) relationships between therapists and patients/clients (refer to this as T-P from hereon). She told me to get hold of a book, Sexual intimacy between therapists and patients by JC Bouhoutsos and K Pope. I checked it out on amazon and read this review,
""The authors outline the types of sexual abuse and draw together clinical studies that claim to document this phenomenon. Since this is a new research frontier, there is not yet the comprehensive understanding of the ethical, legal, and psychological issues that encompass this complex issue. Nevertheless, the authors have done an admirable job of describing therapists at risk, the vulnerabilities of patients, and consequences of therapist-patient sexual intimacy. The authors also discuss critical changes in the training of mental health professionals. Guidelines for lawyers and suggestions for patient-victims are also offered." -- Choice"
while I understand you have not gone this far with your T, since both of you claim to be attracted to each other, it is not far and remote for the relationship to get more intimate.
I am not a psychologist but I've been told that since therapists weild MORE power over their patients/clients (we should remember clients come to them seeking assistance, not the other way around) and therefore, the T is deemed taking advantage of their client's vulnerability which can be considered not just abusive but also unethical transgression. T-P romantic relationships become highly one sided such that the T knows a lot about the P with the latter not knowing much about the T. In your case, you said you *think* he is single, right? I don't think romantic and therapeutic relationships work well for the patient's benefit. In your case, he has admitted he let his personal biases interfere and that does not help you at all when he takes sides.
Just think when we go to a therapist, they can ask us anything and if we want help, we don't hold back and tell them (almost) everything, but does the patient get to ask the T those same things? Romantic relationships will definitely affect the T's objectivity and affect his/her professional service rendered to his/her client. Therefore, it is best to terminate T-P relationship.
Also, for most states here in the USA, I think at least one year should pass after terminating T service when the therapist can see his/her client. This is regardless of the fact the patient may be willing to have a relationship with the T. If you're in Canada, check the laws there regarding this matter.
Will discuss more later...