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Obsessing Over Past Mistakes/failures...tips On How To Stop This?


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6 replies to this topic

#1 pleasedtomeetme

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Posted 01 December 2012 - 01:55 PM

hey all,

I seem to have a problem because I frequently obsess about my past mistakes and how I have messed up my life Posted Image it gets me down quite easily and I struggle to deal with it. I know that my anxiety issues are behind almost all of my major life decisions, so knowing that this led me to the mess I am in now is quite sad Posted Image I am 25 years-old, a college graduate but I have no career to speak of. I have bounced around between majors and studies and I have completed internships, but never fully committed to something. I was even in law school for one year, but I hated it and was afraid that I would be miserable in this career, so I dropped out. I am now starting to wonder if this was a mistake, because I don't seem to be qualified to do anything else. However, I know I didn't like it and it would have been very expensive, so I feel like I saved myself a life of misery, but still I have doubts.

I am so scared that my past mistakes will haunt me forever. i have considered going back to school for something else entirely, but i am not sure if this is possible? i don't know, but I am always thinking about my past mistakes and how I should have done this or that when I was younger Posted Image

oh well, sorry for the woe-is-me post. anybody have any tips on how to deal with this problem of mine?

#2 Morgoth

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Posted 01 December 2012 - 02:05 PM

I think sometimes you just need to try and move on, I suffer the same thing and I know it is easier said then done.

Hopefully a more experience member will have an answer for you.

#3 crazydayz

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Posted 01 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

Hey...I feel like I can relate somewhat, as we're the same age and it was so difficult for me to figure out where I was going in life, I ended up with 3 university degrees. Unfortunately now I'm still struggling to get into the job I want and am loaded down with debt! lol

I feel like you could try to focus on what YOU want and what YOU like. The past is the past...I've screwed up so many times, but you cannot let that stop you. As cheesy at it is, I try to focus on what I learned from those experiences and how it changed me. Where do you want to be in the future? If that seems too daunting, where do you want to be now? Do you have any goals for yourself? for your career? anything you would like accomplish? any dreams you have thought of? It doesn't matter if they seem too difficult...if you really want it, there will be some way of making it happen.

What type of career or jobs are you interested in? have you tried any career tests online for fun? Did you enjoy the degree you have now? Sorry I'm asking more questions than anything!

#4 Dingadilly

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Posted 01 December 2012 - 03:33 PM

Past mistakes, there are a slew of inspiring one liners, Some I found helpful, at least for a while.

The more mistakes you make, the more you learn.

You should focus on the now, the past no longer matters, all it really does is show where you've come from. If you have items in your past that still cause you grief, I would suggest you take time to mourn those feelings to an extent full enough that they pass into memory and are less prevelant in your daily thoughts. Your past will hold you back if you spend enough time thinking about it. You cannot forget it, that's the beauty of experience. You can push it to the back of your head and you will still know the lessons is taught you.
There is no need to re attend History class every day. If you catch my drift =)

N.b I'm considering going back to school for a career change and i'm 35 so yes its totally possible btw

Regards

Ding
I think i was happiest when I thought the least.

I now come with my own disclaimer.
"Hi I'm Ding and at some point I may well offend you, this is neither deliberate nor intentional, merely a side effect of my habit of typing what I think"

#5 pleasedtomeetme

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Posted 01 December 2012 - 06:43 PM

Hey...I feel like I can relate somewhat, as we're the same age and it was so difficult for me to figure out where I was going in life, I ended up with 3 university degrees. Unfortunately now I'm still struggling to get into the job I want and am loaded down with debt! lol

I feel like you could try to focus on what YOU want and what YOU like. The past is the past...I've screwed up so many times, but you cannot let that stop you. As cheesy at it is, I try to focus on what I learned from those experiences and how it changed me. Where do you want to be in the future? If that seems too daunting, where do you want to be now? Do you have any goals for yourself? for your career? anything you would like accomplish? any dreams you have thought of? It doesn't matter if they seem too difficult...if you really want it, there will be some way of making it happen.

What type of career or jobs are you interested in? have you tried any career tests online for fun? Did you enjoy the degree you have now? Sorry I'm asking more questions than anything!


all of these questions are too intense to answer right now, however, I am thinking of something in healthcare or public service. Just out of curiosity, what did you study when you decided to do the career change? also, good luck with finding a job.

#6 lanemeyer

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Posted 02 December 2012 - 11:44 AM

Hey pleasetomeetme,

First, just wondering- does you handle come from being a fan of the Replacements (aka the 'Mats)?
OK so secondly, I relate to getting stuck on the past and ruminating over and over on how I could have done things differently. I used to do this especially late at night before NOT falling to sleep (haha) and it would even be things that seemed ridiculous to me like situations from the 5th grade and stuff. It's good advice to say "move on" but sometimes HOW to move on can be tricky for people. Some people like to write down everything they're thinking about and then symbolically purge it by crumpling up the paper or even burning it (safely). I myself can't seem to benefit from that approach, I feel too much that the past is part of who I am so what I do is this: I write it all down in a journal and then end each little written-out episode of my life with all these morals (so-to-speak) of what I've learned and what I'd do differently now. I don't destroy it, but rather when the thoughts come back up about the past I'll flip back and find what I wrote and re-read or even add more lessons learned. It seems to stop the cycle quite nicely, even just writing it out feels good b/c it gets it out of my head and onto paper. Hope that helps a bit...

-Lane

#7 Malakir

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:21 PM

I understand where you are coming from. Six years and two major changes and I still want to do something else. I started as Management Computer Systems and now I'm doing 2D and motion graphics and I like it but not as much as I love the art studio classes in my minor. I would just recommend thinking about what you enjoy doing and talk to an adviser and see how those interests can be combined into your career and what type of degree you should pursue. Just an idea if your thinking about going back to school.




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