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[Sambo1]

I am male 22 and a complete loner, I've not had stable friendships since age 17 and I am finding it impossible to make new ones, and the isolation is a big part of my depression and anxiety

I would really like to make some friends, but I don't know how, I have no platform to stand on when it comes to making friends and if ever I do try to make friends it tends to be very awkward

I don't know how to meet people and make friends, I am very sensitive and I am very careful around people so I tend not to be very outgoing. I would really like some advice on how I can make friends and meet new people

Or am I just not meant to have friends....maybe it's the truth

[Dingadilly]

I read somewhere that there are 3 things essential to forming friendships, proximity was one, Repeated unplanned interaction was another, to be honest I forgot the third.
When you consider that even serial killers and people who you yourself would deem to be complete a******s probably have friends, it can really make you feel awful when you find yourself standing alone with no one to turn to.

My advice, Try to make sure you are spending time in places where people can actually get to see you. Staying home just doesn't cut it
if you have any interests or hobbies that has a group in your area, consider joining.
If not, consider trying something just so you can say you have. People in my experience can be very protective of their own social circles and resistant to new members.
Having said that, the best way to be part of a social circle is to join one, It just takes repeated exposure, decent behavior and a pleasant demenaour, you don't have to be a social guru nor be the funniest person within a 1000 mile radius.
You need to relax and be yourself, whilst exposing yourself to as many different potential friends as possible, some will not like you. Part of life, can't be helped
But only by doing the above can you hope to find or connect with strangers with whom you may actually share a genuine connection :)
I would risk saying that any social isolation you feel is largely self created, I know mine is.
Try to stop looking at it with such an analytical view, try to take it for what it is.
Never go out with the sole intention of making friends, you'd be setting yourself up for a fall, making friends takes alot longer than that. Go out with the intention to enjoy whatever comes and do your best to stick to that.
Don't bother going over it in your head afterwards either.

When life is going good, you don't have time to think about it. Life can be going bad because all you do is think about it

Regards

Ding

Edited by Dingadilly, 09 September 2012 - 12:56 PM.

[Luis]

If you're not going to school, find a class to take and take it. This class would preferably be one that requires interaction between students. And with a pool of potential friends in front of you, don't waste your chances! Strike up a conversation with someone, about anything, and see where that leads you. Also, find a "nice looking" stranger at a public place, and same thing - strike up a conversation.

[BlueEros]

An odd question, but do you like to talk? If so, you can make friends! :)

However, talking is only 20% of it; creating friendships involve emotion, mostly (and especcially in the beginning) positive ones. I'm aiming at having fun!

Do you like to have fun? Share that with the people you want to be friends with.

One side note: if you want to have friends, just pretend their your friend already and so it will be! It solves the feeling of awkwardness in this area because you don't pressure yourself into it anymore and just let it flow.