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[Zenguin]

Honestly, I'm starting to think Its because I don't do anything exciting. I'm not out there experiencing the natural beauty of earth and taking part In fun events, so in that sense, I'm not really being ME. I'm pretending to be a boring person when I know I'm really not, and I'm not getting any brain stimulation or good vibes. The thing is, i think i need someone to share it with, and that's going to be hard to find someone i could be 100% honest with.

[Epictetus]

Hi Zenguin,

I think you are on to something there. I read somewhere that social animals have the most complex brains because dealing with others is complex. So I guess when one isn't in a social situation, the brain can lack enough stimulation. Someone once said that loneliness is often just masked boredom. I used to go traveling when I was depressed. I felt the need to kind of overwhelm my brain with stimulation. I once saved up some money and flew to Moscow in the former Soviet Union. I remember being puzzled about Russia when I was a little kid watching James Bond movies. So I thought, what the heck . . . just go there and see what its like. Being overwhelmed by Moscow actually made my depression abate somewhat. So I think you are right about just doing things exciting or fun to stimulate your brain. I take a sleep aid called Ambien which can give a kind of temporary amnesia. I remember waking up in the Rossiya hotel one night and being confused by the Ambien. I rubbed my eyes, looked out the window and saw Red Square and St. Basil's Cathedral and I was like . . . where am I? Oh yeah, I'm in Moscow. That hotel itself was stimulating too. It was the largest hotel in the world at the time, with almost 3500 hundred rooms. I actually got lost it it. LOL.

[Zenguin]

Hi Epictetus, that makes so much sense to me! about the lack of social interaction causing less brain stimulation, and therefore making us feel bored and depressed. Sometimes you have social interactions where you come out thinking you made a good impression, and that makes you feel better about yourself. It's like humans actively seek self-affirmation from other people and if you don't get that then you feel bad about yourself, and if this happens often enough, you could end up feeling depressed and thus unable to cope with social situations in the future. It's a catch-22. It's like if we could pluck up the courage to get out there and show people we are worthy, gain self-affirmation, we will feel better (maybe). Just theory's but nice to think of :)

[Epictetus]

Hi Zenguin. I think we've been programmed during our childhood to reward ourselves with contentment when we please others in social settings and punish ourselves when we don't. And its a DEEP program. Of course, when we are infants, social acceptance by our mothers is essential to survival. But now, I am an old man and the outcome of relatively few social interactions are matters of life and death. But that program in my brain is deep. If people look at me the wrong way or say the "wrong thing" I start on the road to mentally beating myself up. And I can be brutal to my poor little brain too. I've kind of reprogrammed my brain with CBT stuff but those deep childhood programs . . . they really run deep. I don't know . . . Best to you Zenguin!

Edited by Ep1ctetus, 08 September 2012 - 11:53 AM.

[Zenguin]

Thanks man. Maybe a trip to somewhere beautiful is what i need. Best to you too.

[Just Adam]

Zenguin, finding some friends who are easy-going and enjoy spending time outdoors has been somewhat beneficial for me. I hope you can find something meaningfull to do with your time. I know it can be a challenge when your depressed.
Take care.

[Vieno]

Social interaction generally is very important for good mood. Think of it as having two levels:

stimulating interaction that doesn't involve emotions

emotional interaction that isn't necessarily very stimulating but that gives feelings of safety, worth and love

Both are essential. I'm great with the first as I have excellent social skills and know how to get a conversation started, but I suck at the other. I don't know how to emotionally connect with others.

For you, the trip may be all you need - who knows. My mother is a very introverted person and has suffered from lack of relationships. She told me that at her twenties she had a couple of good friends but didn't have much other social interaction and decided to do something about it. She went multiple times out of country to spend a couple of weeks hiking on mountains, and enjoyed the interaction with complete strangers. One time, he met my father :) So obviously those trips provided both the stimulation and emotional connection!

But then there's me. Depression for 1,5 years now. About six months ago I felt like I'm ready to change my life - to finally make it right! Be happy. I didn't know about depression then. So I left my life old life at my parents in Central Finland and flew to London, in the middle of new things. I hardly told anyone I was leaving, just packed my most essential things and got to the plane for the first time in life. was more social than ever; did more things than ever; and became more miserable than ever. After that I found out it was not new stimulation I needed but emotional connection that I had lacked for YEARS - it just didn't start to bother me until 1,5 years ago when I got depressed. Though I didn't fully realize how essential this need was until maybe a month ago.

Hope this helps! Keep us posted :)

Vieno

Edited by Vieno, 08 September 2012 - 04:55 PM.