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      *As a new member, you will have a limit of two Topics in each Forum   02/10/2016

      If you're new to our community, taking the step for the first time to post publicly to a message board can sometimes seem intimidating. Don't be afraid to jump into a discussion once you have registered with us. We have a very supportive community that serves up heavy doses of support, encouragement and enthusiasm. We love meeting new people and being friendly. While we hope that you'll become an active participant and join in our discussions, you're welcome, of course, to simply hang out silently until you feel more comfortable posting a message. *As a new member, you will have the ability to post two active topics in each Forum. You may reply to as many as you wish. Click on "New Topic" or you may "Reply" to an ongoing post. You will get the hang of it if you have never posted in a forum before.   *An active topic is defined as a topic that is on the front page of our busier forums or a topic that has recieved replies in the last 48 hours in our quiter forums. ~Lindsay, Forum Super Administrator
    • Lindsay

      National Mental Health Awareness Month, 2016   05/01/2016

      Proclamation 9433 of April 28, 2016 National Mental Health Awareness Month, 2016 A Proclamation Nearly 44 million American adults, and millions of children, experience mental health conditions each year, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and post-traumatic stress. Although we have made progress expanding mental health coverage and elevating the conversation about mental health, too many people still do not get the help they need. Our Nation is founded on the belief that we must look out for one another—and whether it affects our family members, friends, co-workers, or those unknown to us—we do a service for each other when we reach out and help those struggling with mental health issues. This month, we renew our commitment to ridding our society of the stigma associated with mental illness, encourage those living with mental health conditions to get the help they need, and reaffirm our pledge to ensure those who need help have access to the support, acceptance, and resources they deserve. In the last 7 years, our country has made extraordinary progress in expanding mental health coverage for more people across America. The Affordable Care Act prohibits insurance companies from discriminating against people based on pre-existing conditions, requires coverage of mental health and substance use disorder services in individual and small group markets, and expands mental health and substance use disorder parity policies, which are estimated to help more than 60 million Americans. Nearly 15 million more Americans have gained Medicaid coverage since October 2013, significantly improving access to mental health care. And because of more than $100 million in funding from the Affordable Care Act, community health centers have expanded behavioral health services for nearly 900,000 people nationwide over the past 2 years. Still, far too few Americans experiencing mental illnesses do not receive the care and treatment they need. That is why my most recent Budget proposal includes a new half-billion dollar investment to improve access to mental health care, engage individuals with serious mental illness in care, and help ensure behavioral health care systems work for everyone. Our Nation has made strong advances in improving prevention, increasing early intervention, and expanding treatment of mental illnesses. Earlier this year, I established a Mental Health and Substance Use Disorder Parity Task Force, which aims to ensure that coverage for mental health benefits is comparable to coverage for medical and surgical care, improve understanding of the requirements of the law, and expand compliance with it. Mental health should be treated as part of a person's overall health, and we must ensure individuals living with mental health conditions can get the treatment they need. My Administration also continues to invest in science and research through the BRAIN initiative to enhance our understanding of the complexities of the human brain and to make it easier to diagnose and treat mental health disorders early. One of our most profound obligations as a Nation is to support the men and women in uniform who return home and continue fighting battles against mental illness. Last year, I signed the Clay Hunt SAV Act, which fills critical gaps in serving veterans with post-traumatic stress and other illnesses, increases peer support and outreach, and recruits more talented individuals to work on mental health issues at the Department of Veterans Affairs. This law will make it easier for veterans to get the care they need when they need it. All Americans, including service members, can get immediate assistance by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK or by calling 1-800-662-HELP. During National Mental Health Awareness Month, we recognize those Americans who live with mental illness and substance use disorders, and we pledge solidarity with their families who need our support as well. Let us strive to ensure people living with mental health conditions know that they are not alone, that hope exists, and that the possibility of healing and thriving is real. Together, we can help everyone get the support they need to recover as they continue along the journey to get well. NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim May 2016 as National Mental Health Awareness Month. I call upon citizens, government agencies, organizations, health care providers, and research institutions to raise mental health awareness and continue helping Americans live longer, healthier lives. IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-eighth day of April, in the year of our Lord two thousand sixteen, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and fortieth.  
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streamtrail

Depressed For The First Time In My Life.

4 posts in this topic

Posted

I'm 32, and for the last month I've been learning what it is to be depressed for the first time in my life.

It's entirely related to circumstances (though, perhaps also deeper underlying issues I have about being alone), and probably seems trivial from an outside perspective.

In short, I met a girl, whom I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years to be with, but procrastinated about moving out. In hindsight, all the reasons I gave for not moving sooner were selfish and stupid, with me trying not to 'hurt' the original partner by delaying the separation. Subsequently, I lost both of them.

The girl who I'd met I was - and am - convinced is the love of my life. We connected on every single level: same interests, same careers, could finish each others sentences, and had amazing sex. But within a month of our breakup, she found a rebound guy that was willing to do the one thing I wasn't - move in with her. Of course I completely folded and begged her for a reconciliation, saying I'd do everything she wanted, but she felt I'd hurt her too much and she couldn't trust me. Which, based on how I'd acted, I can understand - but what I can't make her understand, is how sorry I am about it, and how certain I am it would never happen again. So, now they're living together, and I'm counting the days till my previous ex moves out, at which point I'll be 32 and alone, whilst I'm getting texts from friends expecting kids, getting married, and doing all the other things I should be thinking about.

I originally thought I was taking this as I have any other bad event in my life. I cried for a few days, moped around the house, then got back to my old self. But after I met my g/f two months later, I realized I'd been in complete denial the whole time, and was expecting us to get back together. When I looked back I'd even been carrying on our joint hobbies etc. as though nothing had happened. On hearing she'd moved in with someone else, the bottom pretty much fell out of my world.

That was a month ago. And, overall, I wish I could get that outside perspective that it's not *that* big a deal. I still have my job, health, home, and family. But I constantly have a feeling something awful has - and is about to - happen.

I realized after about a week it wasn't just sadness as I'd experienced before in life. I couldn't eat properly, sleep, and was a '3' for all the standard questions about depression, with the possible exception of suicidal thoughts, which I've had but not planned or taken really seriously. I went to the doctor, talked for about 20 minutes, and got prescribed some anxiety medication at such a low dose it's basically a placebo, with a follow up appointment in a few weeks. I've booked a counselling session, but I've also realized how little help there actually seems to be out there besides tablets and a chat once a week. I have this constant feeling of loss, failure, regret, and sadness, but I haven't been able to cry. Every minute my mind is fixed on either what I've done wrong, some crazy and implausible scheme to win my ex back and suddenly feel fine, or the bleakness of my future. Everything I'd previously enjoyed either reminds me of my ex, or how I neglected her to pursue it. I feel like I'm at the top of a slope and about to slide down it. I can't sleep properly, and every time I wake up I get hit with this wave of terror when I remember what's happened. I can't focus on my work, and I've come dangerously close to yelling at my boss a few times. If I can't get focused, then I'll lose my job, home, and be back living with my parents and have very little future to look forwards to. I need to move flat, but every time I try I think back to looking for a place with my ex just 4 months ago, and see living alone as being a prisoner in a lonely cell.

A lot of this probably stems from insecurity developed in my teens and 20s, for which I was almost entirely single - I have this horrible feeling it took 32 years to meet the right person, and by the time I meet someone else, my chance at a happy, normal, life will be over. I think it's deeper than just this one ex, but the event has played to all my insecurities about life, as well as about living alone (which for me was a decade long haze of online gaming, sleep, solitude, and junk food, which I dread returning to). I can't even play a video game for 5 minutes now without breaking down from memories and regret, and the same goes for pretty much everything I used to spend my time doing.

I guess I'm posting partly because doing something - anything - takes my mind of the situation, otherwise I just pace the flat thinking about it or try and sleep knowing my body doesn't need it. But also partly because I know I'm just at the start of depression, and get the feeling the longer it takes me to break out of it, the harder it will be. Any advice from people on what they'd have done at the top of the slope, with hindsight, would be massively appreciated.

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Posted

Hi streamtrail, and welcome to DF! We are glad to have you here. This is a wonderful community, where you will receive a lot of emotional support.

I know from personal experience how painful breakups can be. I think a lot of others here can relate as well.

You now have all of us here at DF to add to your emotional support system. You are NOT alone.

Please make yourself feel at home here, take a look around the site, and post wherever you feel most comfortable.

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Posted

Welcome to the forum and I am glad you had the courage to reach out for help. Whether your depression is situational or not, it is not trivial. People handle things in different ways and what may be an issue for you may not be for someone else and vice versa. It hurts just the same. Breakups can be very devastating and the catalyst for depression. If you think about it, the loss of a relationship is not all that different than a death. You need time to grieve it. You have lost an important person in your life. Unlike a death, this person is still around and you have to face the fact they choose to continue their life without you. Painful! So please, allow yourself time to move through the grieving process. Continue to post here and seek support in any way you can. Don't write off your counselling sessions. You may be surprised at how much those weekly chats can help if you have that extra support in between. I know you feel destined to spend life alone right now, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is true. I have a friend that was married at a young age, had 5 children, divorced, and then found the love of her life in her 60's. She couldn't have been happier. Don't give up on yourself :)

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Posted

Hi Steamtrail

Welcome to DF, it is good to have you here, despite what you are going through.

Breakups are so tough and I really feel for you and what you are going through right now. Take time to grieve the relationship and to look after you. Take care of yourself and pamper yourself as you are a worthwhile person.

You may find the Relationship Room here on DF helpful. I look forward to hearing more from you,

Girly

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