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Uncovering The Painful Past

Started by sadkathy , Sep 06 2012 04:28 AM

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2 replies to this topic

#1 sadkathy

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Location:Sydney

Posted 06 September 2012 - 04:28 AM

Just have to get something off my chest. I have been suffering from depression on and off for as long as I can remember. I have recently gone back onto medication, and am having an intensive course of hypnotherapy with a very caring professional. Through these sessions, I have uncovered that I was raped (date rape) when I was a teenager, and have been in denial about this ever since. I am finding it really hard to deal with and am having constant flashbacks which are really upsetting. This realisation makes a lot of sense of the issues that I have, but I am struggling with the reality of it, and am putting a lot of blame upon myself. I am struggling with this huge secret that I am holding and want to unload it but at the same time don't want to be judged by others anywhere near as harshly as I am judging myself right now. I am unable to tell my husband of 20+ years as I fear what his reaction will be.
Feeling really lost right now.

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#2 addict1968

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552 posts

Gender:Male

Posted 06 September 2012 - 06:21 AM

Sadkathy - hugs to you. I feel for you and feel sorry you are having to go through the pain all over again.

I would suggest that you do talk with your husband and confide in him - he should be able to understand your pain and be supporting.

It wasn't your fault that you were raped - so please be kind to yourself and stop blaming yourself. Its something that you can't undo - so accepting it will start to ease your pain. I wish you feel better soon and your pain eases.

Take care,

» Live Online Counseling

Diagnosis: Bi-Polar II, Currently in Major Depression, GAD
Medication: Sertraline 150 mg (Zoloft), Olanzapine 5mg (Zyprexa)

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#3 Lilysparkles

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667 posts

Gender:Female
Location:Spain

Posted 06 September 2012 - 06:27 AM

SadKathy - sending you hugs also. Feeling guilty about anything I find is another thing to deal with, with depression. But what happened to you is NOT your fault. You are taking the right steps in your therapy and although you are uncovering devastating past issues, you are making the right moves in trying to make sense of it all. Hang in there sweetheart. Talk to your husband - if you have a good relationship (wow, 20+ years) or perhaps after talking even see if you can have a joint therapy session. I hope he doesn't judge you - nobody here does so continue talking even though it hurts so much right now. Hoping it gets better for you soon.