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[yesican]

hi friends, I have found such comfort in being a part of this community for the last few days. I am really looking forward to starting a blog, as I find writing feelings down always helps me process thoughts and feelings.
But for now I will just share how I am doing.
A few days ago I really felt like I was starting to slide back into the grips of depression. I was terrified at the thought of going back to the place where I was emotionally a year ago. Where the days were endless and I had no hope of ever being happy again.
I talked to a good friend of mine (who also has experienced severe depression) and she challenged me to accept and embrace my depression. I have to admit, I wondered what the heck she was talking about!! how could I embrace something that I hated, that I battled and fought with, that has had such negative effects on my life!
But then I started really thinking about it, and googling 'embracing depression' and 'accepting depression', and a number of thoughts came to my mind...

WHAT IF...I stopped seeing my depression as a personal flaw and started accepting it as an illness that I suffer from? That if I had a broken leg or heart disease or diabetes or cancer, I would not personalize it and beat myself up over it.

WHAT IF....I stopped being afraid of the 'what if's'?? what if I chose to just accept today, and everyday for what it is.

WHAT IF...I challenged my negative thoughts, and instead of telling myself what a weak person I am- to tell myself some positive affirmations and truths?

Soooo, this is what I did, and it might sound kinda hokey or silly..but whatever:)
I lied down on my bed. I closed my eyes. And I started telling myself some things that I know to be true. At first, the critic in me (who lives in that small corner of my mind) started scoffing me and trying to tell me what I was doing was stupid..but the more positive things I said, the quieter the critic became.
I said to myself things like "I am kind", "I am a good person", "My illness does not define who I am", " I have more control over my thoughts than I realize"...and just went on and on.
I did this for about 15 minutes, and after I stopped I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me.

Now I am not naive enough to think that I will not experience moments of depression, or that I can stop taking my medication or going to therapy..BUT I was thrilled that there is one more thing that I can put into my 'toolbox' of ways that I can manage my depression.

[Epictetus]

I like your post. It's great. It reminds me of something someone once told me. Because of sleep and blinking, we spend most of our lives in the dark. But we don't think about it because our eyes are made for the light and vision. Depression is a disease pathology of the brain that makes us forget about the light and just see the darkness. And coming out of depression is just like coming out of darkness. Thanks for sharing your insights!!!