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[olim]

Hi. I've really put off reaching out to someone because I didn't want to sound needy or take help away from someone else who truly needs it more than I do. Tonight I finally decided I would try talking to someone.

About a month ago I started getting really sad and lonely, and I don't know why. I don't have many friends, but that's never really bothered me before, I've always been an independent person. I just don't know why it's bothering me now. I moved away from home in February so I don't have family around either, but if that's why I'm so upset lately why has it taken so long for me to feel this way? I just don't understand. Tonight I started thinking about suicide, making all the plans and steps in my head, then I stopped myself. It's scary when you look back on thoughts like that. I don't know why I would think about it when things aren't that bad, I'm just going through stuff nearly every other person goes through. Are these thoughts and feelings normal? Is it just a phase, am I wasting time worrying? I'm sorry if I wasted anybody else's time.

[MaddieLouise]

Hi Olim and welcome to the DF,

First, please understand that you are not wasting anyone's time. Your sadness is as important and real as anyone else's, no matter what the situation. It is your sadness, and we aren't judgmental here or compare if one of us has a right over another to be sad or lonely.

I think what you are experiencing is normal, until you get to the planning suicide part, and that is a concern. Chances are with your move, you were too busy making the initial adjustments, with moving and getting settled in to even realize how you felt. Now that you are most likely in a routine, you realize how much you miss friends and family. Are you at school, or did you move to a new job? If at school, are there any clubs or organizations that sound interesting? Also, there are adult classes and clubs people might join if you are working.

Because you felt suicidal, I would definately consider seeing a doctor, who might refer you to a pshychiatrist, because it's never normal to feel that you want to take your own life.

We are glad you are here and hope you will post, look around and let us know how you are feeling.

Sincerely,

MaddieLouise

[LaurynJcat]

Hi olim.

I'm glad you reached out to us. Welcome!

I agree with MaddieLouise that maybe you didn't feel lonely at first because you were busy. But also sometimes people start feeling sad or lonely for no single reason. It doesn't matter the reason. There are ways to help - like seeing a doctor or therapist, joining a support group, or taking a class in meditation or yoga or tai chi. You can even call a crisis line (you don't have to be suicidal to call) if you need to. Definitely call a crisis line if your suicidal thoughts become frequent or detailed.

Make yourself at home here. You will see you're not alone, even if it feels like it. We are always here to listen.

Lauryn

[olim]

Thanks for the kind words and helpful advice. If I start having those feelings again I will definitely get help. It's good to know there are people who will listen and try to help, even if the reasons for my depression are unclear or very minor.

I don't really have the time to join any clubs or classes with my busy work schedule; I work two jobs, about 10-13 hours on weekdays, and often have to work on weekends. I do have days off but they are very random.

[LaurynJcat]

Hi again olim. There are still "drop in" type classes and groups, but if you're working so much maybe try befriending one of your co-workers? (even if just very casually). It can help even to have someone to eat lunch with or chat with.

Best wishes. Stop by anytime.