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      ED RULES PLEASE READ!   02/10/2016

            RULES 1.) No numbers (weights, clothing size, BMI, calories, etc.) -- No use of numbers [related to weight, calories, bmi, clothing size, desired weight-loss goal, how many days you've gone without eating, how many times you've purged, how many laxatives you've taken, etc.]. 2.) No suicide notes -- Suicidal posts or "goodbye" letters related to suicide are not allowed. Posts of a suicidal nature, or that appear to be goodbye letters because a person is contemplating suicide will be closed, and the member will be referred to real-time help from their family members or doctors, and to a LIST OF SUICIDE HOTLINES where they can seek help immediately. 3.) No links in your profile (or signature) to personal diary, journal, myspace or blog websites. The reason for this is simple. We have some basic rules here that need to be followed so members are not triggered or encouraged to stay focused on discussing nothing but behaviors and a negative body image. To link to your online blog is to potentially try to get around the rules here so you can share information we do not permit, or simply to share triggering content (even if your intention is not to trigger anyone). Blogs are meant to be private, and to be a helpful tool in your recovery in talking about how you feel - they are not meant to be a place to share all the gruesome details and methods or your ED, or your calorie intake and weight. 4.) NUMBERS in your posts will be edited with XX and you will see who edited your post. We will no longer notify you through PM's. We do not have the time any longer to be chasing after members who do not read the 'rules' of these forums. Please respect our Terms OF Service. Thank you!    
    • Forum Admin

      Take Care of YOU   02/10/2016

          Please DO NOT add your weight or add any Weight NUMBERS in your posts! Taking Care of YOU   Below are things to know about going into recovery, taking care of yourself, and the importance of finding coping alternatives and identifying \"triggers\". In our recovery from Eating Disorders one of the things we will need to learn to do is to find better ways to cope. We have learned through the process of our Eating Disorders that these behaviors were good \"emotion blockers.\" We\'ve discovered, even if subconsciously, that it is easier to think about food, not eating, eating too much, what we won\'t or will eat, how many calories we just had or will avoid, etc., than it is to deal with our feelings and emotions. Writing... Keeping a journal is a great way to cope with daily stresses of life. To sit and write your feelings and emotions, your fears and dreams, about the things that are hurting you or making you angry, is to begin to understand and accept these feelings as your own. By starting a Depresion Forums Blog we can gain a better understanding of what we are truly feeling, and from there begin to express these emotions to others and to heal from them. One key will be finding a good therapist. Support groups such as DF can work well for some as well, but don\'t rule out the fact that we all need some sort of professional assitance in dealing with these problems. There is nothing shameful about knowing you need help and seeking it. Learning to find better ways to cope is not easy. We may have many years behind us of living with this negative coping mechanism. Don\'t expect miracles overnight, but practice self affirmation. Telling yourself everyday, outloud, \"I will learn better ways to cope... I can recover\" will set you in a positive mindset and with practice you will begin to believe it. Thanks to Something-Fishy.org for information about ED and Recovery.
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Aimipon

Ednos & Anxiety

3 posts in this topic

Posted

Hi guys! New here!

I don't know if anyone's reading this but i just had to get this out of my head and into writing before i drive myself mad!!

I was diagnosed with an ednos nearly 5 years ago. I was only eating 1 small meal a day and then throwing it back up again straight afterwards but managed to get it (for the most part) under control in the end and that was around the time i went to university and started to feel genuinely happy for the first time.

I mean, i did have a bit of a purge here and there if was really upset or if something had gone wrong but i was eating fairly normally and had got myself out of feeling guilty and punishing myself.

However this year was my final year of uni and just after Christmas i developed anxiety. I had palpitations and pain in my chest and got completely obsessed with thinking all day and night that i was going to die. It got so bad i missed lectures and exams and got kicked out of uni basically.

So now i owe over 20 grand with no degree to show for it all, i am getting slapped with overdraft interest and i have a credit card to pay off too and even though i have a job and i'm trying to sort things out it just feels like i've ruined my life and i'm never ever going to be back on track.

So anyway, its like my old mentaility has crept up on me again and i'm not eating and when i do i throw up. And the scary part is it feels like all my worry and all my fear has vanished for a while after the food is all gone, so i do it again for the next dinnertime. And if i'm not purging i'm making all the old excuses to get out of mealtimes and i get a stupid rush of power when i don't eat and i feel sick with hunger. Obviously i know psychologically what i'm doing because its all happened before but it doesn't make it any easier, does it?

Agh, i dunno what to do...i feel like i'm going crazy with worry about my debts and my future and i have no idea if its all linked or what. But i'm just frightened because if all this has been a catalyst for my eating habits then theres just no way i can fix it :(

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Posted

Hi Aimipon and Welcome

I am sorry that you are struggling and that you have all that debt. That is awful and can certainly trigger you. If anxiety has caused this you probably need to see a doctor, as meds can control your anxiety, which in turn can ease the impact it has on your eating disorder.

Trace

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Posted

Amipon,

Since you are so close to graduating you might be able to transfer all those credits and finish your degree online. I also think if you see a doctor and are able to prove that this was all caused by an anxiety disorder or health issue you would have a great case for getting back into school. You still have those credits and no one can take those from you!

I highly recommend going to see a professional about your anxiety and just to talk to someone. They will be able to give you meds which will help the anxiety and underlying depression (I definitely agree with Trace on that).

The reason the eating disorder is back now is because it feels like the only thing you have control over, while everything else in your life feels like it's out of your control. I also have EDNOS (since I was 15 and I'm 30 now) and still when things get stressful I occasionally will fall back on it because it works so wonderfully in easing the anxiousness. It makes you feel pure again...like a "reset" button has just been pushed. This of course is only temporarily before the depression and sadness set in again, made even worse now by the recent transgression. It's a quick fix and highly addictive for sure, but you CAN beat it and recognize the triggers.

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