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Afraid Of Applying For Job


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#1 ellemint

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 01:34 PM

I've been out of work for a while, over a year. I lost my last job largely due to being really depressed---- I would go in late and I missed too much work, and then ultimately pretty well stopped going in, so they were almost forced to fire me. :(


I've since moved from the U.S. back to Canada. And gotten the psychiatric care I needed, and am on new meds and feeling slightly better. I know I would feel even better if I was working. I saw a job in Toronto that I am totally qualified to do except for the statistics part (I am rusty on computer statistics programs). I keep focusing on this one deficit I have and am afraid of applying, when it would so much be in my best interest to apply. I've delayed and delayed putting my application in on-line and tomorrow is the deadline.

Can anyone relate? does anyone have any advice?

ellemint
Have no fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language & knowledge --- Jack Kerouac

There are victories whose glory lies in the fact that they are only known to those who win them. ---- Nelson Mandela

#2 Twitchy1

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 02:05 PM

Take the plunge! If it's something you are interested in the position, then submit your resume...don't count yourself out because you are rusty with one of the skills. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Worst case scenario - they don't respond, but at least you put yourself out there. Best case scenario - they hire you and it's the greatest job you've ever had.
I'm not currently job seeking, but when I am in that mode, I get so energized by submitting my resume to a new company.
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#3 depressedgrad

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 02:38 PM

I would apply. Don't call attention to the fact that your are "rusty" in the area. Play up your strengths. If they are interested in hiring you, I'm sure there will be an opportunity for someone to show you the latest versions of the programs they use. Nobody expects a new employee to know everything on their first day.
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#4 msmanic

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 02:47 PM

Yes, I agree with the other posters, ellemint! Go for it! I'm excited for you because nothing ventured, nothing gained!!! And as the other poster said, the worse thing that can happen is that they don't respond. But if you think you're right for it (despite the one aspect), there's no reason you shouldn't at least try. :) Good luck!
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#5 ellemint

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 03:15 PM

THANK YOU !! Twitchy1, depressedgrad & msmanic --- I went ahead and applied.---whew! I really appreciate your support and encouragement.

ellemint
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Have no fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language & knowledge --- Jack Kerouac

There are victories whose glory lies in the fact that they are only known to those who win them. ---- Nelson Mandela

#6 ArthurP

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 08:34 PM

I'm glad you did it too. I also look at jobs and talk myself out of applying for them, so I know how you feel.
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#7 depressedgrad

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 08:53 PM

Yay! I'm glad you decided to apply. Good luck! I am definitely guilty of talking myself out of applying for things too.

#8 michael please

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 01:13 AM

Awesome ellemint! I'm applying for a job too after not working for six months. I'm so happy that you're applying for jobs, it just makes me feel great that we're doing this at the same time! Good luck! Just act as if it's your job and they obviously need you and you're very enthusiastic and looking forward to the challenge. This is just so great.
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#9 Trace

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 02:11 AM

Hi Ellemint

I am glad that you did it. That is a huge step and well done!

Trace
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#10 Lucbut

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 05:26 AM

I am at the stage where I have rewritten my resume to go for a job as my own business is failing badly. It is a tough thing to do but I am going to apply for some jobs, one with a firm I left to go into business on my own. I am scared but I have to do it. And you have inspired me to go for it. Well done for doing what you have done.
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#11 msmanic

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 09:21 AM

Yes, keep us posted!


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#12 ellemint

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 12:42 PM

Thanks guys !

Good for you Michael! - go get 'em. And that's great Lucbut !---getting your resume ready is an important first step.

One strategy I used for getting this done was to ask myself "What is the smallest most tiny step I could take on this task to make some progress?" In this case, it was to go to my computer and look at my resume. And from there I tweaked it a little and built momentum.

Also, I have near my desk a reminder that "The more you try to avoid unpleasant feelings, the harder it will be to make important changes."

What this means to me is that I am going to have to put up with some anxiety as I apply for jobs and if I get an interview. And that's OK. Before I submitted my application I did a deep-breathing exercise to calm myself --- which helped quite a bit. And I acknowledged but did not act on the feeling that I had to work on my cover letter and c.v. for hours to make them perfect. It doesn't have to be perfect --- just good enough to highlight my skills. After all, in most cases an HR person is going to spend all of maybe 30 seconds scanning an application for the relevant information.

BTW, the deep-breathing exercise called 4/7/8 is from Andrew Weil MD, but I think it's based on yoga breathing. Here it is.

You keep your tongue against pressed against your upper palate just by your front upper teeth throughout the exercise so that your throat is not obstructed.
Breathe IN deeply for 4 seconds/counts with mouth closed.
Hold for 7 seconds.
Breathe out fully with lips pursed (making a woosh sound) for 8 seconds.
Repeat 3 or 4 times.

:)

ellemint

Edited by ellemint, 21 August 2012 - 12:51 PM.

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Have no fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language & knowledge --- Jack Kerouac

There are victories whose glory lies in the fact that they are only known to those who win them. ---- Nelson Mandela

#13 FeelinBlueAllTheTime

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 01:34 PM

My heavens, yes...I can relate! I will be 29 this year and I haven't held a job since 2008. I have a severe learning disability in addition to my depression/anxiety. I graduated from university with a useless degree in 2010.

I feel terrible that my husband is the only one working and paying the bills, but I don't know what to do. I did an unpaid internship hoping that it would lead to an employment opportunity elsewhere (that place doesn't hire people) but it didn't.

I really need a job but I'm afraid, too. I'm afraid that I will be discriminated against for my learning disability and for my appearance because this has happened before. I'm afraid that I will make mistakes and I will be criticized or thought of as "stupid". I don't know how to explain the reasons why I haven't been working in such a long time. I'm afraid of the possibility that if I do get a job, I will be fired in a short time. I'm afraid that I will be misunderstood.

And it seems to be so difficult to find work that I can actually do. I thought about applying at my local library, but I'm terrified. I don't have a resume and I don't really have connections that could help me out. I don't speak Spanish (which is definitely a must for getting a job in this city; it impresses people) and my typing skills aren't that good, even with lots of practice.

I don't really have anything substantial to put on a resume. It doesn't really look too good to be honest and tell a potential employer that I haven't been working because I'm depressed and can barely do math.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be more depressing... :verysad3: but I am really scared. I would like to start contributing financially because it is putting a strain on my marriage, and I would also like to be more independent. I need to be able to take care of myself should anything happen to my husband or my mother, since they are the only two people who care about me. I was nearly homeless at one point in my late teens/early 20's and I am scared about my future. I really wish I could get a good job, even minimum wage would be OK as long as the environment is a friendly one.

I hope it works out for you, ellemint! I have a feeling that the outcome will be positive...best of luck! :flowers:

#14 ellemint

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 09:49 PM

Thanks FeelinBlueAllTheTime --- I will have to apply to many jobs, but it's a start. :)

You face some challenges in terms of job search, (as do most of us) , but I can't help but think that you're discounting your positives. The fact that you graduated with a university degree despite a serious learning disability is HUGE! That is a big accomplishment. I know you must have intelligence and skills to be able to do that!

Where I live they have career centers designed to help people with any disability whether learning disability, or physical, or mental health issues. Do you know if you have anything like that where you live? Or even an ordinary government career center. I have found the people at these places really encouraging. Or your university's student career center. They might be able to help you work on what is called a "functional" resume, one that doesn't have a list of jobs, but emphasizes things you can do.

And sometimes what we view as a negative can also be a positive. The place I applied is a big mental health and addiction center and they actually encourage people who have experienced mental health or addiction problems to apply for employment----places like that exist. They know that those of us who have experienced those problems bring to the job knowledge, compassion, and a valuable understanding of what their clients are going through.

Getting a job is a big goal. Break it down into tiny little steps. I would start by thinking of the smallest, easiest step you can take to begin a job search and do that tomorrow. And build from there. You can do it!

Oh, and don't forget about self-employment, take a look at the following link for inspiration.

http://www.icontact-...UV7VZu25CAHsQAd

:)

ellemint

Edited by ellemint, 21 August 2012 - 10:16 PM.

Have no fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language & knowledge --- Jack Kerouac

There are victories whose glory lies in the fact that they are only known to those who win them. ---- Nelson Mandela

#15 msmanic

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 08:12 AM

I want a career change but since i have to work during the day, I'd have to take night classes (to teach English as a second language) and there's no telling how many years it would take me to complete it. I'm so bummed. The program is 2 years if you are taking it full-time of course. But what I really want to do is Social Work in psychology. But that required one year full-time study and I just don't think we as a family could lose my employment. Believe me, I wish we could.

Still, it's thrilling that you were able to turn your fear around and begin applying for jobs and even help others in the process. Good for you!

#16 Exelion

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:31 PM

Man can I relate. 35, Experience in multiple roles in customer service and IT. HATE my current job. But every place I apply to there's always one little thing holding me back. A degree I don't have, a skillset I never acquired, what not. It makes it really discouraging to apply, feeling like I'm never going to be good enough for any think I want because I'm missing one tiny little thing.

The important part is to try. Many employers inflate their requirements beyond what they really need. Some are willing to offer a less qualified applicant a position, although it may be at a lower salary.What you need to do is focus on your strong points and sell those to the employer. If you look at the job responsibilities and say "I can do that!" Then tell them you can.

It'll probably be an uphill battle. I won't lie. I've only heard back from one of the last 6 jobs I applied to, and they dismissed my application almost immediately after receiving it. But I also have an ex-co-worker friend who landed a US $65K/yr job that he was missing critical skillsets for, because he sold himself well. Did I mention his last job prior to that made half that much? It's all about confidence, and building a good resume. Good luck.

#17 ellemint

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 01:31 PM

Man can I relate. 35, Experience in multiple roles in customer service and IT. HATE my current job. But every place I apply to there's always one little thing holding me back. A degree I don't have, a skillset I never acquired, what not. It makes it really discouraging to apply, feeling like I'm never going to be good enough for any think I want because I'm missing one tiny little thing.

The important part is to try. Many employers inflate their requirements beyond what they really need. Some are willing to offer a less qualified applicant a position, although it may be at a lower salary.What you need to do is focus on your strong points and sell those to the employer. If you look at the job responsibilities and say "I can do that!" Then tell them you can.

It'll probably be an uphill battle. I won't lie. I've only heard back from one of the last 6 jobs I applied to, and they dismissed my application almost immediately after receiving it. But I also have an ex-co-worker friend who landed a US $65K/yr job that he was missing critical skillsets for, because he sold himself well. Did I mention his last job prior to that made half that much? It's all about confidence, and building a good resume. Good luck.


Exelion, hearing back from 1 of 6 jobs you've applied to is actually quite good :)

I do agree that when employers advertise they often put every last job duty down for that position and in fact some of those things you end up rarely doing. In my case, pretty well every position I've ever applied for has mentioned statistics since I work in research, but in my previous jobs I've probably done statistics only a few hours a month if that.

Also, remember it's highly likely that most applicants are missing one or two of the skills listed in a job description. It's very rare that an applicant would have each and every skill that is required unless they were already doing the job.

I hope everyone's job searches continue --- let's not let fear and doubt hold us back !


ellemint
Have no fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language & knowledge --- Jack Kerouac

There are victories whose glory lies in the fact that they are only known to those who win them. ---- Nelson Mandela

#18 ellemint

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 01:39 PM

I want a career change but since i have to work during the day, I'd have to take night classes (to teach English as a second language) and there's no telling how many years it would take me to complete it. I'm so bummed. The program is 2 years if you are taking it full-time of course. But what I really want to do is Social Work in psychology. But that required one year full-time study and I just don't think we as a family could lose my employment. Believe me, I wish we could.

Still, it's thrilling that you were able to turn your fear around and begin applying for jobs and even help others in the process. Good for you!


Is the one year of full-time study at the beginning or end of the social work program? Have you looked at other universities? -- because social work is often offered part-time because so many people pursue that as a second career. Also some of them even offer part of their programs on-line.

good luck !

ellemint
Have no fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language & knowledge --- Jack Kerouac

There are victories whose glory lies in the fact that they are only known to those who win them. ---- Nelson Mandela

#19 ArthurP

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 10:51 PM

The important part is to try. Many employers inflate their requirements beyond what they really need.


I so needed to hear that. Thank you.

#20 FeelinBlueAllTheTime

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Posted 27 August 2012 - 09:18 AM

Thanks FeelinBlueAllTheTime --- I will have to apply to many jobs, but it's a start. :)

You face some challenges in terms of job search, (as do most of us) , but I can't help but think that you're discounting your positives. The fact that you graduated with a university degree despite a serious learning disability is HUGE! That is a big accomplishment. I know you must have intelligence and skills to be able to do that!

Where I live they have career centers designed to help people with any disability whether learning disability, or physical, or mental health issues. Do you know if you have anything like that where you live? Or even an ordinary government career center. I have found the people at these places really encouraging. Or your university's student career center. They might be able to help you work on what is called a "functional" resume, one that doesn't have a list of jobs, but emphasizes things you can do.

And sometimes what we view as a negative can also be a positive. The place I applied is a big mental health and addiction center and they actually encourage people who have experienced mental health or addiction problems to apply for employment----places like that exist. They know that those of us who have experienced those problems bring to the job knowledge, compassion, and a valuable understanding of what their clients are going through.

Getting a job is a big goal. Break it down into tiny little steps. I would start by thinking of the smallest, easiest step you can take to begin a job search and do that tomorrow. And build from there. You can do it!

Oh, and don't forget about self-employment, take a look at the following link for inspiration.

http://www.icontact-...UV7VZu25CAHsQAd

:)

ellemint


Thanks, ellemint, that's sweet! :smile:

You sound like my husband. He always tells me that I sell myself short and I should be more positive. But he is very different from me...he is a type A personality without a history of depression or suicidal thoughts. And he's never had trouble with school or getting jobs. He is all about taking action and being a leader. He tries to be my voice of encouragement, but he doesn't understand how difficult my life has been.

So to people who have never been in my shoes, it sounds like I'm either complaining or just not looking at my strengths. I'm not sure that I have many skills or talents to offer the world. I barely graduated high school because they refused to give me my diploma despite my hard work. It was humiliating because I walked with my class, but I didn't have a "real" diploma like everybody else. And because my stepfather didn't understand that I had a learning disability, he called me lazy and constantly threatened to put me out on the street if I couldn't find a job. So I went around looking for work all the time...I even did some very degrading things because I was desperate.

I graduated from university only because I put a lot of effort into it. It was definitely a struggle. It was even more of a struggle when I realized that I was older than the students in some of my classes. I didn't really have much in common with most of them. I also graduated because my husband pushed me very hard. There were times when I wanted to give up because I felt hopeless. I still don't feel like I accomplished anything. No one clapped for me when I walked across the stage. It was just kind of awkward. And two years later, I still don't have a job...so I don't feel that I've achieved anything.

I would like to try self-employment, but doesn't that require money? I thought that in order to start a business, money would be necessary.

But thanks for your kind words. You've given me some helpful feedback. Now if I can just be motivated again...

#21 ellemint

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Posted 27 August 2012 - 08:41 PM


Thanks FeelinBlueAllTheTime --- I will have to apply to many jobs, but it's a start. :)

You face some challenges in terms of job search, (as do most of us) , but I can't help but think that you're discounting your positives. The fact that you graduated with a university degree despite a serious learning disability is HUGE! That is a big accomplishment. I know you must have intelligence and skills to be able to do that!

Where I live they have career centers designed to help people with any disability whether learning disability, or physical, or mental health issues. Do you know if you have anything like that where you live? Or even an ordinary government career center. I have found the people at these places really encouraging. Or your university's student career center. They might be able to help you work on what is called a "functional" resume, one that doesn't have a list of jobs, but emphasizes things you can do.

And sometimes what we view as a negative can also be a positive. The place I applied is a big mental health and addiction center and they actually encourage people who have experienced mental health or addiction problems to apply for employment----places like that exist. They know that those of us who have experienced those problems bring to the job knowledge, compassion, and a valuable understanding of what their clients are going through.

Getting a job is a big goal. Break it down into tiny little steps. I would start by thinking of the smallest, easiest step you can take to begin a job search and do that tomorrow. And build from there. You can do it!

Oh, and don't forget about self-employment, take a look at the following link for inspiration.

http://www.icontact-...UV7VZu25CAHsQAd

:)

ellemint


Thanks, ellemint, that's sweet! :smile:

You sound like my husband. He always tells me that I sell myself short and I should be more positive. But he is very different from me...he is a type A personality without a history of depression or suicidal thoughts. And he's never had trouble with school or getting jobs. He is all about taking action and being a leader. He tries to be my voice of encouragement, but he doesn't understand how difficult my life has been.

So to people who have never been in my shoes, it sounds like I'm either complaining or just not looking at my strengths. I'm not sure that I have many skills or talents to offer the world. I barely graduated high school because they refused to give me my diploma despite my hard work. It was humiliating because I walked with my class, but I didn't have a "real" diploma like everybody else. And because my stepfather didn't understand that I had a learning disability, he called me lazy and constantly threatened to put me out on the street if I couldn't find a job. So I went around looking for work all the time...I even did some very degrading things because I was desperate.

I graduated from university only because I put a lot of effort into it. It was definitely a struggle. It was even more of a struggle when I realized that I was older than the students in some of my classes. I didn't really have much in common with most of them. I also graduated because my husband pushed me very hard. There were times when I wanted to give up because I felt hopeless. I still don't feel like I accomplished anything. No one clapped for me when I walked across the stage. It was just kind of awkward. And two years later, I still don't have a job...so I don't feel that I've achieved anything.

I would like to try self-employment, but doesn't that require money? I thought that in order to start a business, money would be necessary.

But thanks for your kind words. You've given me some helpful feedback. Now if I can just be motivated again...


Well if you're going to open a store or something, sure you would need some money to start with. But I used to run my own dog-walking business, that didn't cost anything to start up. Some people run home daycare/babysitting services that I would think have minimal cost, but licensing might cost money.
I also have done freelance writing and grant-writing in the past and that had no startup costs. So it depends. :)

In Canada they provide assistance to disabled people starting their own business. I'm not sure of the nature of the help, though (but I need to look into it myself!) . Maybe you could check out if there's anything like that where you live.

take care,

ellemint
Have no fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language & knowledge --- Jack Kerouac

There are victories whose glory lies in the fact that they are only known to those who win them. ---- Nelson Mandela




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