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How To Not Feel Guilty When You Make Mistakes


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#1 Jessiks

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 06:52 AM

I started work today as a cashier, i did very well they said. They didn't want to put me on the register yet, but I said I'd like to so I get used to it quicker and they were happy about that. I did sooo many mistakes still, and I was extremely nervous since it was someone Else's money!

I'm sooo scared I will never get used to it, or that they will become impatient if I don't learn it fast enough...people said I did good work, but I'm scared they only said that to be nice...

I want to be good at a job, but this is my first job ever even part-time and I'm 23!

how can I stop feeling guilty making mistakes and not being perfect all the time...

#2 Epictetus

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 07:12 AM

Hi Jessiks,

Congratulations on your first day at work!!!!

I also worked as a cashier once and worried a lot it for the same reasons as you.

Perfection is not possible for human beings. So when we are expecting perfection of ourselves or others we are being illogical and unrealistic. But saying it is different from realizing it on the emotional level. The good news is that no one else is perfect either.

I keep a little card in my pocket. It says:

"No one is perfect. You always do the very best you can given everything that is influencing you"

When I am anxious or stressed I look at the card. No one purposely goes out and says: "Today I want to make a mistake." "Today I plan to make a mistake." We make mistakes because we are not all knowing, all seeing, all powerful beings. So many things influence us all the time, such as anxiety. I once made a very big mistake with money at a wholesale jewelry store and the mistake involved hundreds of dollars lost. I sold some jewelry pieces by piece when I was supposed to weigh them and sell them by gram weight. It was a huge mistake but I didn't lose my job. I think if you worry too much, it can also cause you to make mistakes.

Don't know if this will help. Hope so! All good things to you Jessiks!!!!
  • Lisa15 and fromtheashes like this

 Your brain is your best friend.  It works 24 hours a day to keep you alive, healthy and happy.  As such it deserves love, respect, compassion, encouragement, understanding and consolation.  It is not an all-powerful all-perfect being.  It makes mistakes.  It can become ill.  But it always tries to make your health its #1 priority.  Where could one find a friend like that?  Even when you are sleeping it is trying to help you.    So it deserve love in good times and bad, it its successes and its failures, in sickness and in health.  It doesn't deserve to be mentally beat up with insults like:  weak, lazy, stupid,  loser, no good.  It does tens of thousands of strong, brave, clever, wise, good and beautiful things each day for you.

 

  If depression is related to hatred of the brain [even unconscious or organically caused], then it seems like learning to love the brain is one of the ways out of depression.  If putting a sense of life-or-death urgency on the brain in non-life-or-death situations stresses the brain out and leads to anxiety, then it seems like learning to be less demanding, more realistic and more compassion to the brain is one of the ways out of paralyzing anxiety.  


#3 LucyLynn

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 03:10 PM

Hi Jessiks,

Congrats on your first day on your first job!! Yay! I bet you did a lot better than you think. I supervise young adults about your age and I can tell you as a supervisor and a trainer, I would really appreciate your conscientiousness and desire to do a good job! With any job there is going to be a learning curve. Even if you work as a cashier one place, at the next place there will still be new skills to learn. I doubt people said you did a good job just to be nice. I am sure you really did do a good job for learning something new and doing it for the very first time! As you learn, you will make mistakes. You will also get faster as you go along. One thing you can try to do is try catching your own mistakes. This shows that you are learning the ropes! You will never be perfect, so ease up on yourself. I know a new job--a first job especially!--is intimidating but keep putting forth that effort and it will all pay off. If you are working as a cashier I'm assuming you are working with the public, and it is okay to smile and say "I'm just learning, bear with me a second!" when you hit a tough spot. And then thank them for their patience (and their business.) You will impress your customers and your supervisors as well.

Keep us posted on how it's going!!

#4 Jessiks

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 08:59 AM

thank you so much guys!

Yeah I've been saying "I'm sorry, i'ts only my second day on the job, so I'm a little slow". And the customers are soo nice, they even say they didn't even find me slow or notice I was new :)

It's good I can use the register and do almost everything on my own, so I feel more confident, but I hope my supervisors notice as well as my colleagues that I'm putting in effort. Anyways, sadly this weekend didn't seem like a good celebration, I got some kind of food poisoning today and went to bed at 2pm because I was throwing up so much and was so weak. I missed out on 8 phone calls from my boyfriend and woke up now at 12 and sms I was so sorry. I hope he doesn't think I was ignoring him :( poor sweetheart.

Anyways I feel good in other ways :)

#5 Lisa15

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Posted 13 August 2012 - 12:17 PM

Hi Jessiks,

Congratulations on your first day at work!!!!

I also worked as a cashier once and worried a lot it for the same reasons as you.

Perfection is not possible for human beings. So when we are expecting perfection of ourselves or others we are being illogical and unrealistic. But saying it is different from realizing it on the emotional level. The good news is that no one else is perfect either.

I keep a little card in my pocket. It says:

"No one is perfect. You always do the very best you can given everything that is influencing you"

When I am anxious or stressed I look at the card. No one purposely goes out and says: "Today I want to make a mistake." "Today I plan to make a mistake." We make mistakes because we are not all knowing, all seeing, all powerful beings. So many things influence us all the time, such as anxiety. I once made a very big mistake with money at a wholesale jewelry store and the mistake involved hundreds of dollars lost. I sold some jewelry pieces by piece when I was supposed to weigh them and sell them by gram weight. It was a huge mistake but I didn't lose my job. I think if you worry too much, it can also cause you to make mistakes.

Don't know if this will help. Hope so! All good things to you Jessiks!!!!


I should make a card like that for myself, too, Ep1ctetus. Like Jessiks, I too beat myself up when I make a mistake. Did that today, in fact. And when I do that, I start doubting my ability to get anything right. Emerged from my last depressive episode about five months ago, and I'm in a new situation now that involves new challenges that are stressful, so I'm trying hard not to fall back into the pit. Your advice helps. Thanks!

Lisa

#6 1xsarah

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Posted 14 August 2012 - 12:13 PM

good job on your first day:) it's okay to make a few mistakes as long as your trying your hardest. Just be nice and most costumers are okay with a few mistakes. and half the time people dont even notice. Good luck, :)

#7 Twitchy1

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Posted 14 August 2012 - 12:44 PM

When you talk about being nervous handling someone else's money, it reminded me of a mistake I made a long time ago...when I was about your age, I used to work at a large bank in a big city as a teller. We handled huge amounts of cash each day (I routinely had $150K-$200K at my window). If we ran low on cash during the day, we would have to fill out a form to get additional funds from the main vault. One day, I requested some additional cash, and apparently when I took the funds back to my window my hands must have been full because at some point, I stuck a "strap" of $100s (which is $10,000) in the pocket of my suit jacket and then forgot about it. I didn't realize what I had done until I was on my lunch break down the street at a deli and reached into my pocket for something else and found the money. Ooops! Mercifully, I made it back to the bank and put the money in the vault at my teller window before anyone was the wiser. That was probably one of the most stressful jobs I've ever had! Mostly because I am a dingleberry brain ;)

Anyhow, try not to be so hard on yourself. If people say you are doing a good job, then accept the compliment at face value. Don't minimize your efforts by thinking they are just trying to be nice!

#8 Jessiks

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Posted 14 August 2012 - 11:52 PM

thank you all for the great advice! I'm starting to enjoy my job so much actually, it's very fun :) and people are patient and I do learn fast thank goodness.

It's just very stressful latey with university and having a job and balancing a social life...I was on my way from uni today and felt very depressed on the train. I asked my boyfriend to come over( but he already spent 3 days with me) he said he'd rather get some sleep since he's still working till friday and worked 8 days in a row so I understand...but I feel sad, it makes me feel neglected and I know this feeling is wrong because he deserves the space and I like to have space too...it's just I have to work on university work and I would have loved him to be near me, I even said he could come over and bring his xbox and play on my big tv and I would do my uni work , but he'd rather get some sleep...:( I wish I had more girl friends who played video games like me, who play world of warcraft or something ...I have a cat, but she doesn't do much and I do get lonely wishing I had a dog or something around me...my cat is sweet and when I go to bed or cal her she'll be near me, but she's so csared of my boyfriend so that gets on my nerves too... :(

#9 Megan286

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 02:43 PM

Just work through it, always be nice and respectful to everyone.Never be dishonest about something to cover up mistakes. Reassure people that you correct the mistakes. You will get better with time!

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure... think about such things."


Above all else, guard your heart.


"When all the clouds roll away and the sun begins to shine, I see my freedom from across the way and it comes right on time... makes me feel so free, makes me feel like me, and it lights my life with love."

-Van Morrison


#10 computerboy

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 04:53 PM

Hi Jessiks and congratulations for your first job!! I worked as cashier too some years ago, and i was feeling like you at the begin, but with the time I started to handle it and I even lost money my first week , but not so much, because i was kinda worried, so , I started to relax and then things started to go great, dont be nervous, you can chandle it, and dont think is someone's else money, think its just money that you have to put at your cashbox.

Hope you will do it great :) and always when you , take your time to handle the money and nothing will happen :)

"sweet is ain't that sweet without the sour"


#11 Jessiks

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 10:53 PM

hey guys,

thanks again for all the help. I was very proud of myself yesterday, I was working very late till 9, and I had a very rude and obnoxious young customer. I thought he looked very young and he asked for cigarettes, and still wanted to do my job right so I asked for hims ID to check it...I told him I'm sorry but I don't want to get in trouble...while i was doing it I tried to start a nice conversation wit him asking if he goes to uni he just shook his head and said " no, all I want now is to go home and have my cigarettes...but that's going very slow..." and I just smiled and said "oh well that's a shame, but have a good one!" and he just bolted away wit his cigarettes...

the queue I was serving was smiling because I handled him so well, so that actually made me happy because outside I'm a bubbly, happy person, nobody ever would expect the thoughts I have most of the time or the struggle I'm going through and it made me feel great :) I think it's important never to let out your bad feelings on others or on yourself, it's still abuse and nobody deserves that.

I talk to someone about my feelings like on here, I do cope but I still need encouragement and this is what this site is helping me with :)

#12 Jessiks

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 11:04 PM

Latley I've been having a problem though.

My work and uni and personal life and social life are all stressing me out together...I want to have time to relax. I have a big project due next week and I've been working on it very much. I'm happy with it, but can't get the nagging feeling that it could be more perfect. I just can't get the energy together though to make it perfect, it's so much work and I have no time to do it perfect and just want to leave it as a good project, but I feel guilty not creating a perfect project...I already told my work I can't work on a whole monday because I'm so busy with this project, and even left out many days of university because I was so stressed and tired. I love my work, but university gets on my nerves because I have courses that are sooo useless for us to go to and yet they want us to attend(if we leave out more than 3 times in each course we fail )...this is the part where I hate life, this is so unfair!'

It really is nothing useful to us in most lectures, and I just want time to do the projects and able to have more freedom...

#13 Megan286

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 01:51 AM

Jessiks thanks for the second to last post. I agree with the second to last sentence ab not showing negative feelings. It's good to hear someone say that. So glad you had a good day today!

Edited by Megan286, 16 August 2012 - 01:52 AM.

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure... think about such things."


Above all else, guard your heart.


"When all the clouds roll away and the sun begins to shine, I see my freedom from across the way and it comes right on time... makes me feel so free, makes me feel like me, and it lights my life with love."

-Van Morrison


#14 computerboy

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 09:46 AM

I am glad you did it great, a job well done would help you a lot at your confidence, with the problem of time I think you will need to make an extra efford , at nights or at some other hours you sometimes use for yourself, a little of sacrifice now would make u feel so good after you get what you were looking for, after that you can take vacations :) . Hope you have a great day today

"sweet is ain't that sweet without the sour"


#15 Jessiks

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 01:38 PM

I feel so horrible right now...I woke up at 4am in the morning and so stressed out I'm crying all morning and my boyfriend is still lying in bed!

I'm crying so much thinking it's all not worth it, but I'm trying to stay strong but I just can't hold back the tears :*( I'm so stressed with uni and work together and I have this party to go to that's important to a good friend but I really really don't want to go...I abused my cat which I am horrified about just because I'm soo upset right now and panicing because I don't want to cry again in public, especially this morning when I have to go in a full train ride to university and do an 8 hour shift today at work too... :*(

#16 Megan286

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Posted 18 August 2012 - 01:30 PM

what happened with the cat? you're in a really stressful situation but you seem like the type who normally rises above it. Keep doing everything you're supposed to be doing despite being overwhelmed and you'll be better off in the future.
in stressful situations it's all about overcoming and rising above. It's hard and sometimes, when you know it's the right thing to do, even when your mind isn't prepared, you just have to keep going. since you work at the cash register , why don't you educate yourself on people skills/manners/etc. That's something I like to do and you could apply it daily at your job. Just a random enrichment tip. It would only help and would make things more interesting, fun, and positive during work.

Edited by Megan286, 18 August 2012 - 01:40 PM.

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure... think about such things."


Above all else, guard your heart.


"When all the clouds roll away and the sun begins to shine, I see my freedom from across the way and it comes right on time... makes me feel so free, makes me feel like me, and it lights my life with love."

-Van Morrison


#17 Lucbut

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Posted 19 August 2012 - 03:45 AM

Jessiks

It is scary using a register for the first time. It is also something as you gain experience that you will do well. The main point for you is that if they said you did well you did. An experienced person will see quite quickly if you are going to do well or not. It sounds like you have. Congratulations.
Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't get flustered if you make a mistake - get someone over to remedy it and learn from it it saves a lot of time and bother. Do as you are instructed to do in handling cash and you will be fine. You have made a great start and the more you do it and do it right, as I am sure you will, then you will be fine.

#18 Jessiks

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Posted 19 August 2012 - 10:24 PM

thank you all so much.

My cat is alright, it wasn't a full blown attack on her, just a slight kick but still I felt horrible :(

She's fine, I would never live with myself if I hurt an animal on purpose for no reason!

Thinks are actually going great! I just went passed my second week of work and doing very well, yesterday I didn't even ask for any help at all! :))

I overreacted and that's my problem sometimes....when I get my money in I will go back on a medication and hope it will all go well.

#19 silenthunder

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 01:15 PM

i worked at mcdonalds a long time ago - they made us wear a button

"I'm new and I'm trying"

every time I start a new job I think about going and finding that button - or making a big sign to wear around my neck :)

I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now Jessiks - but it seems like you're coping really well with it - keep up the good work!

#20 Jessiks

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 05:24 AM

thank you so much guys.

Yeah I'm doing well an the job is actually enjoyable :)

I'm the only one who has fun at the cash register than other people lololol

I'm having trouble now, since I need my meds but I can't afford to see my psychiatrist so whether I can get them from my doctor...

#21 Jessiks

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Posted 25 August 2012 - 03:38 PM

I 'm having trouble again now...I have to wait till tuesday till I can be on my medication again since my doctor gave me a too large dose and I have to see him again on tuesday (since that is when I get paid again).

I feel so motivated now, or really more, guilty that I'm not being healthy lately...

I've kind of lost my appetite with my job lately, and smoking even more, but also not loosing any weight...

I threw away my cigarettes and got a nicotine mints, but now I feel guilty because my shoes aren't dry from washing them yet and I want to exercise but can't :(...I will feel so guilty :(




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