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[Alli77]

Things didn't go well at work today. I was alone in the office and a lady came in today. Supposedly she though we had an item in stock. We don't and have to special order it which takes about two weeks. She needed it this weekend. Needless to say she was irate and said she wasn't informed about the order process (which I know for a fact she was told since I'm the only one who works in my department).

Anyways she was extremely rude to me. Yelling cursing and so on. I work on a military base so she is a scary ex-Marine. She was going to be traveling and would go right past another base. I found out they had the item in stock and got her all the contact information needed for the other base. She then went off again on how she thought this was going to help her any? Honestly I didn't know what else I could do. Her husband was with her. He was annoyed but realized she was being a total b*tch and told her to back off.

On the way out she said she was going to report me. Another co-worker from another department was in the parking lot and she started yelling at him too and demanded our boss' phone number.

I didn't cry in front of the customers but I was shaken after she left. I walked out to the bathroom and patted my eyes with a damp cloth. I was going to be alright. But then my supervisor (boss' assistant) calls me up on the phone wondering what happened and if I was alright. I guess my co-worker told her (and the whole admin. office) what happened in the parking lot and said the customer was making a scene in public. That did it. I was then very embarrassed because eveyone found out what happened. I tried not to cry on the phone but I couldn't help it.

I'm so embarrassed. I would have got over it but my supervisor's phone call set me off. She's a sweet lady and was genuinely concerned for me. This is my first job out of college so she looks out for me as well. She told me not to worry and that people can be unreasonable. Still, I didn't want to cry in front of her because it makes me appear weak. My life in general hasn't been going well lately and I've been under a lot of stress. I'm also off of my anti-depressants at the moment so it really doesn't take much to set me off. Especially when I'm under attack like this.

Do you think my boss will see me as weak? I didn't cry in front of customers or co-workers so no one actually saw me crying. I'll see her tomorrow so she'll probably ask me what happened. Once she could tell I was crying over the phone she stopped questioning me about what happened because the questions were obviously upsetting me. I'm just concerned because my boss and supervisor recently selected me for a promotion. Maybe they'll reconsider if they don't think I can deal with difficult people.

Thanks for any help or advice.

Edited by Alli77, 01 August 2012 - 08:11 PM.

[Epictetus]

Hi Alli77,


I think you handled the situation very well. I don't think you did anything unreasonable or unprofessional. Most rational people realize that crying is not something completely under one's control. I might have cried in exactly the same circumstances. Perhaps your boss, too, would have cried in exactly the same circumstances. If your boss were to take away your promotion for that, it would prove that she is irrational. I don't know what country you are from. I will check your profile later. In my country there are laws to protect workers from unreasonable actions of supervisors.

I don't think you will lose your promotion. I think you should get a medal!!! The only thing that worried me in your post was your statement about being off your ADs at the moment. I hope you are off of them on the advice of a doctor because only a doctor is qualified to advise you about medical matters.

Please do not beat yourself up for being human Alli. Sorry this happened to you!!! Best !!!!

Edited by Ep1ctetus, 01 August 2012 - 08:33 PM.

[Stigmata]

Hey, Alli77. Sorry to hear that you had such a tough work day. I personally don't think that a supervisor who genuinely cares about
and looks out for you would see you as weak. It's normal to feel really overwhelmed and upset when dealing with difficult/unreasonable
people, and I think that, with your supervisor's many years of experience, she would understand and sympathize with you instead of
blaming you. I believe that you have every right to be proud of yourself for handling a difficult situation in a brave manner and
being as helpful as you can. That said, I certainly don't think that your boss and supervisor would pass you over for a promotion
because of what happened today.

Just the fact that your supervisor called you to see if everything was okay shows me that she understands the emotional distress you
could be undergoing in this kind of situation and wants to help you, if at all possible. So please don't blame yourself. Instead, indulge in some
self-care tonight that would help you to feel better. Do you like to read? Does a good bath help you to calm down? Do something
good for yourself. You've been through a rough day. Be proud of yourself for doing your best.

Lots of hugs for you if you want them.

[Alli77]

Hi Alli77,


I think you handled the situation very well. I don't think you did anything unreasonable or unprofessional. Most rational people realize that crying is not something completely under one's control. I might have cried in exactly the same circumstances. Perhaps your boss, too, would have cried in exactly the same circumstances. If your boss were to take away your promotion for that, it would prove that she is irrational. I don't know what country you are from. I will check your profile later. In my country there are laws to protect workers from unreasonable actions of supervisors.

I don't think you will lose your promotion. I think you should get a medal!!! The only thing that worried me in your post was your statement about being off your ADs at the moment. I hope you are off of them on the advice of a doctor because only a doctor is qualified to advise you about medical matters.

Please do not beat yourself up for being human Alli. Sorry this happened to you!!! Best !!!!

Hi Alli77,


I think you handled the situation very well. I don't think you did anything unreasonable or unprofessional. Most rational people realize that crying is not something completely under one's control. I might have cried in exactly the same circumstances. Perhaps your boss, too, would have cried in exactly the same circumstances. If your boss were to take away your promotion for that, it would prove that she is irrational. I don't know what country you are from. I will check your profile later. In my country there are laws to protect workers from unreasonable actions of supervisors.

I don't think you will lose your promotion. I think you should get a medal!!! The only thing that worried me in your post was your statement about being off your ADs at the moment. I hope you are off of them on the advice of a doctor because only a doctor is qualified to advise you about medical matters.

Please do not beat yourself up for being human Alli. Sorry this happened to you!!! Best !!!!

Hello Ep1ctetus and thank you for your kind words. I just really didn't know how to react to such an attack like this. I've had people that have been rude to me before. But this was by far the worst customer service experience I've ever been a part of. What was stressful is that I know that the customer was wrong and she had been informed. I had to remain professional and couldn't get defensive. So I felt like I couldn't stand up for myself. I'm a calm person but there's no way I would have let someone talk to me like that if I wasn't at work. I either would have defended myself or else left the scene if it couldn't be resolved in a constructive manner.

I am from the U.S. The more I think about it, my boss probably wouldn't be able to or want to take the promotion away from me. I do a great job and they've been happy with my work. The promotion involves my current job and well as taking over another department. Since I'm the only one trained in my current department, they actually don't have anyone to replace me and would have to hire/train a new employee. Which they wouldn't do becauseof budget cuts.

My doctor allowed me to try things without medications. I wanted to see how I could do without them. My job is general is stressful so I might have to go back on them and to therapy once again.

Thanks again for your help!

[Alli77]

Hey, Alli77. Sorry to hear that you had such a tough work day. I personally don't think that a supervisor who genuinely cares about
and looks out for you would see you as weak. It's normal to feel really overwhelmed and upset when dealing with difficult/unreasonable
people, and I think that, with your supervisor's many years of experience, she would understand and sympathize with you instead of
blaming you. I believe that you have every right to be proud of yourself for handling a difficult situation in a brave manner and
being as helpful as you can. That said, I certainly don't think that your boss and supervisor would pass you over for a promotion
because of what happened today.

Just the fact that your supervisor called you to see if everything was okay shows me that she understands the emotional distress you
could be undergoing in this kind of situation and wants to help you, if at all possible. So please don't blame yourself. Instead, indulge in some
self-care tonight that would help you to feel better. Do you like to read? Does a good bath help you to calm down? Do something
good for yourself. You've been through a rough day. Be proud of yourself for doing your best.

Lots of hugs for you if you want them.

Hello Stigmata and thank you for your help. Both my boss and supervisor are great people and I'm fortunate to actually like my upper management. I'm not from the area and moved here from across the country. Because of this, I often don't get to go home for the holidays. My supervisor often invites me and other people from the base that can't make it home for the holidays over to her family dinner.

I just wish she would have waited about fifteen minutes to call me. I'm not blaming her for my meltdown, but I think I would have been a bit more composed with a little extra time. In fact, when she called I was in the process of writing her and my boss an email about what happened. Just an advance notice that they could be expecting a complaint. I also did this because I didn't know if the customer was going to complain directly to my boss or to the Commanding Office of the base. My boss likes to be informed so I won't want him to be blindsided by the CO. Which she very well could write the CO a letter but at least my boss/supervisor knows what's going on.

I'll try to take it easy tonight and try to relax. I don't think it would have been so bad with just the customer. But now I'm worried about seeing all of my co-workers tomorrow and having to explain to everyone what happened. So I'm a little bit stressed at the moment.

Thanks again for your help!

[ArthurP]

I think you're fine. There's no one who saw this or even heard of it who thinks you made a mistake. You said you're worried they'll think you can't handle a difficult customer. Why? That's exactly what you did. You handled it perfect. You let it out later, in private, but not out on the floor. No one can ask for more. Someone not dealing with depression would have been bothered by someone like that.

But I know how you feel. I had an incident at work shake me up and what's worse it was in an area where I had genuinely once made a mistake. This time it wasn't my fault but there were emails and phone calls all over the place and I could feel myself become flush. It all worked out in the end, but that day was shot. This day has been shot, but you'll be fine tomorrow. Relax, watch the olympics, get a good night's rest.

[Stigmata]

Your very welcome. :) Take care of yourself and try to get a good night's sleep.

[LilyRain]

I can guarantee if I was in that position, I would have burst into tears. But I think all in all you handled it very well! From what you say, your boss sounds very rational and caring, so she definitely has a stake in you- she's not going to take away your promotion for that. :) and the fact remains you were able to remain professional despite an extremely rude person, and not everyone could have done that.
I think your boss just genuinely cares about you, and you know, she's human too. I think she'll understand. :) as for your co-workers, they didn't see/hear you crying. And most people don't broadcast when they know someone else is upset. So you'll be okay! They might ask you about what happened, if they heard about the incident in general, so I'd be prepared to handle those questions, but no one should judge you!

[Exelion]

Heh, if I was in that position I probably woulda lashed out at her. i'm not patient and I don't know when I'm outclassed sometimes.

In all honesty, your boss will think you are human, not weak. getting upset when someone is that unreasonable is natural.Especially when you're young and don't have much job experience.She'll probably chalk it up to you having a bad day. it happens. Don't worry.

[Alli77]

Thank you everyone for your help and support! I just wanted to let you know how things went the past couple of days since the incident. Things weren't nearly as bad with my co-workers as I thought they were going to be. In fact, no one said anything! I thought I was going to have to explain myself or have people asking me what happened. At first I was terribly embarassed after the conflict, but then started to realize others were just concerned about me. I just wanted to get past this so I didn't explain myself either. Only it was a bit awkward because I felt like I was being over friendly and happy the next morning. I was trying to show I was alright, yet I was trying not to over-do it or be fake. Really I think I could have shook off the mean customer. People have been rude before, but never verbally abusive like this. I just wish I could have held in my tears when my supervisor called me on the phone. Because the whole office found out I was crying since on of my supervisor's assistants came by to check on me before she left for the day.

The more I think about it I actually handled the customer pretty well. She was yelling at me and insulting me. Yet I focused on what I was doing and communicating with the other base despite the pressure. She might have actually been trying to get me to react to her. I think my boss and supervisor won't hold it against me that I started crying afterwards. But if I would have lashed out at her to defend myself then I could have gotten myself in trouble. If I would have reacted and told her how she was behaving it would have well-deserved. But it's also not professional and my boss wouldn't like if I was referring to customers with profane names.

I'm just so glad I didn't start crying or even tear up when she was in my office. This probably would have made things worse. Even when my supervisor called me a few minutes later I could answer with my friendly greeting that I always use to answer the phone. But she got right into the "What happened?"s and "Are you all right?"s and this is when I couldn't hold it in anymore when I had to explain what happened.

Unfortunately I'm a worrier and tend to dwell on the past. I also have a good memory of bad events and can remember the particular date in which a stressful event occurs. I need to be able to shake things off and forget about them. I'm going on vacation at the end of next week and don't even want to give this jerk customer one thought about the confrontation. So I need to put this behind me quickly because I could really use a nice and relaxing vacation :)

Thanks again to everyone for your kind words!