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[RupertBear]

I had a lot of goals for the summer- things I wanted to and needed to accomplish, but worthless slug that I am- I haven't really done any of them.

Consequently- when I think of what I need to do- and haven't done, I start to feel guilty, a bit anxious, and this makes me feel even worse. Then the inaction makes me feel guiltier and more worthless and I get overwhelmed and down on myself and its harder to do ANYTHING- and I end up wasting even more time and being even even less productive. I know the solution is just do something- break out of the mood, but I just feel so blocked...
And the more time passes, the worse I feel and the harder it is to get myself energized.

[ellemint]

I struggle with that all the time. I'd say even people who are not depressed set goals and have trouble achieving them.

But that doesn't make you worthless !

Here is a really good article by the Chief Psychiatrist at the Menninger Clinic in which he talks about the fact that depression makes it hard to do the very things we need to do to be less depressed, but there is hope:

http://www.menninger...with-depression

:)

Edited by ellemint, 31 July 2012 - 03:23 PM.

[elannesse]

Nope, it's not just you, I'm right there with you. There are lots of things I need to do and wanted to do but I have now accepted that I won't be able to because a) I don't have enough energy b) it's unrealistic to expect myself to do everything I want when I know I won't be able to do them c) it's okay not to do everything at once like I used to do before.

I was given a piece of advice yesterday, choose a goal each day, start small, and it's a good advice. I would add that try not to give yourself hard time when you haven't done everything else, just do the one thing you promised yourself. For me, even doing a bit of housework is a chore just now, but I'm doing one thing at a time, it's an uphill struggle but I remember to say "well done" to myself every time I do a single task, next day things are then a bit easier. I sometimes think it's pathetic cause when I wasn't depressed, I could get so much done in a day, but I have accepted that things are just gonna be different when I lack energy and motivation so I try not to give into the guilt.

You are not worthless, none of us are, you just don't have the energy, so do what you need to do first, prioritise even, choose the things that are necessary for you and leave the other things that can be left till later. Hope that makes sense.

[bluegarden]

Hello Rupert you are not stating if you are free of depression or in the middle of some bouts,
I get that stale, blocked phase when depression is starting to kick in
anyway

1)Can you chose just one of your goals and postpone the others?
2)Also, do you really WANT to do them?
3)The mind can focus only with one goal at a time, it gets really confused when there's many different new stuff to do...
4) These things you claim you want to accomplish really warm your heart?
5)What about imagining it's not you who is doing stuff but that cute mouse in your avatar? What I mean is,,,acting, wearing a mask. Just an hint
6) What about trying to take things very... lightly.

If you are depressed now, forget about these tips. Of course you don't feel like doing things but you feel pressured to do, because everyone around us seems to be so productive :P
Like you, I take things very seriously and I stuff myself with expectations and expectations.
Expectation even on how much I should be motivated about something and I am not.
I hate the word motivation very much!

Hope you get to do soon create your adventures/accomplishments
Hugs!

Edited by bluegarden, 31 July 2012 - 03:44 PM.

[elannesse]

I like the idea of the avatar doing things :) Might have to adopt that too!!

[RupertBear]

ellemint- thanks for the link- its a good article...
ellannesse- l know- take it slow- just do SOMETHING. And tell my inner perfectionist to STFU - that even tiny steps are progress. My inner perfectionist is loud, persistent, obnoxious and hateful- but somehow can't be killed off.
bluegarden- not really depressed at the moment- I was going through with a stress caused episode a few days ago- but that's over. BTW- the avatar is a bear, not a mouse- Rupert Bear - my favourite children's book character
from childhood.

[RupertBear]

LOL- Rupert has had a lot of adventures
http://en.wikipedia....iki/Rupert_Bear

[eveandtonic]

No, Rupert, you're not the only one who has this problem.

I also have all these things that I should be doing and want to be doing but I just feel too lethargic, too depressed to find the energy to do them. I only seem to manage to do the things that are absolutely necessary and I do them with the lowest energy level possible.

Extremely frustrating because it keeps you away from your goals which make you even more depressed and worthless!

I think the lack of energy is the worst part about depression (at least for me). Sometimes not even able to move a muscle when lying in bed or in the coach, not able to talk because the energy to do so is simply not there, leave alone doing major things like achieving your goals!

[rayj92]

Pretty much everyone on this forum experiences that same attitude towards life. Lack of motivation is a wonderful side effect of depression, and it doesn't help that you make yourself feel guilty, so no, you aren't the only one.

[mmni416]

I actually made a list of things I wanted to accomplish this summer. I made the list in May, as of right now I have completed 1 thing out of maybe 15-20. You're certainly not alone in this. It's difficult when things don't go the way you had them planned. I have so many goals and so many things that I want to do, I just find it difficult to get started because I'm not really sure where to start.

~ Mike

[chucapabra]

Same thing! I've been like that for the past 4-6 summers.. I didn't set realistic goals, that what happened for me... everyone plz don't get too discouraged or stressed out! enjoy your summer, take it easy..

[ski]

OMG, #1 you are NOT a worthless slug. #2 I feel EXACTLY the same way. I can't do anything, I care but I don't care, I put things off and then end up feeling worse... I think the hardest thing part is to get started. I'm so glad I'm not alone.

[SpKomix]

Man - that sounds familiar. I try to get motivated and I can't, and when I do get motivated it seems something gets in my way. Which in turn makes me frustrated, so I'm less motivated next time I have the time because, well, why bother?

I've got notebooks full of unfinished task-lists because, while I'm good at organizing my thoughts on paper - in practice is another story. I spend much of my time floating between two trains of thought: 1. There's some kind of cosmic force keeping me from getting ahead, and 2. I'm simply not capable of getting my sh*t together. I try putting on an optimistic front, but that usually lasts no more than a few hours.

What was the question again? Oh, sorry, yeah - I don't think you're alone.
K.

[michael please]

This sounds like a problem I've had in a devastating way for my whole life. There's a book that has been amazing in the way it addresses procrastination and feeling overwhelmed and blocked. That book is Neil Fiore's "The Now Habit". I cannot recommend this book highly enough. If the title sounds cheesy, don't let that stop you. This book addresses all of the reasons we procrastinate, and provides a strategic system to overcome it. It has helped me tremendously.

[duck]

I have the same problem. I try to do the most important things and hope for the best.

[bluegarden]

Feeling spontaneously vital when we get up in the morning "should" be very natural in a biological way. When it's not, something is wrong, for all of us the cause is mood disorders
One thing that I am coming to coming to terms with is that
Life is already full of struggles: struggling with money, learning to forgive, to love, accepting death, feeling connected and not alone
That struggling also with trying to do things... is so unnecessary
We need to either redifine what we want to do at this moment (maybe some goals we have are not in the right moment of our life) or either we really can benefit from pills/supplements that makes us energized / vital/ wanting to be active on the things we feel we want to do.

[jl1678a]

Can relate to this topic for sure. I started wellbutrin in May and i had some motivation for a couple weeks it was great but it didn't last. Now on zoloft for the last two so i am hopeful this is the one to give me my much needed kick in the ***. Keep fighting the good fight.

[memyselfi10]

Me too. Not quite as hard on myself as I used to be though. It still bothers me, but I've learned to appreciate that just being able to get up and go to work every day is a major accomplishment for me right now. I'm proud of myself for that. I have little energy or motivation left for anything else.

[RupertBear]

I really appreciate all the replies. I ​'m great at making lists- but while I can get small essentials done-its the larger areas where I fail. I keep trying to acknowledge what I do accomplish- rather than what I don't- but my perfectionism and being my own harshest critic tend to be the loudest voices I hear.
It's good to know I'm not alone though.

[WillHunting]

You're definitely not alone, and thanks for the smile (I remember watching Rupert the Bear) :)

[FeelinBlueAllTheTime]

No, RupertBear, you are definitely NOT alone.

There are so many things I need to do but I can't seem to be able to do things anymore. Here's my list:

1. See the dentist because I haven't been in about 4 years or so.

2. Find a doctor...I need a primary care physician and I also need help in treating my depression, but I'm unable to find doctors that actually care or will accept my insurance.

3. Lose 30 lbs...I've gained so much weight, especially around my waistline.

4. Find a job and be able to keep it.

5. Save up enough money to buy a brand-new car.

6. Live a better lifestyle...eat healthy food, exercise more often, sleep well, etc.

7. Start improving my appearance and look prettier.

8. Renew my driver's license at the DMV.


But lately I can't seem to do much of anything. I have to muster the energy to get out of bed, to do the grocery shopping, to run errands. I know that I probably seem very lazy to my husband when sometimes all I can do is lift the TV remote, but the TV is one of the few comforts I have.

I feel your pain...but I will try to be more motivated again. I wish the same for you. Take care!

[kikispav]

Hi all!

At last, I started to feel angry with my family expecting so much from a working woman who constantly lives under stress and periodical depression. Enough is enough! Every Saturday morning we talk about

everybody's responsibilities in this house. Many times because of my low energy I cannot accomplish my own duties and then i pretend being someone else. Either a robot (very low energy) or the magical gini (sorry

i do not know that in English) from Alladin's story.