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[Jessiks]

It seems soo hard to concentrate for a whole hour for me, I have to work soo hard to keep my concentration but my mind starts to wander an it's so hard to keep under control... I'm always so tired... I'm trying to quit smoking and don't feel social since a month and my friend keeps bugging me to go out but I'd rather spend it at home alone and rest or with my boyfriend. I'm busy with university and finding a job and not smoking, is it wrong of me not wanting to be out so much :(

[Rainbowstar]

Hi Jessiks,

Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts with us.

- Regarding your mind wandering, this is perfectly normal. There is nothing wrong with you: One problem that all meditators (people who practise meditation) experience is the 'monkey mind'. When we meditate, we try to focus on our breaths and let go of any thoughts. However, every meditator has the problem of the mind wandering. This demonstrates that the natural state of the mind is to wander. Also, the average attention span of an adult is twenty to thirty minutes and this varies according to the what it is we have to concentrate on.

- Regarding feeling tired at university, keep in mind, that it is your first week back. It takes time for your body and mind to readjust to the routines of university life. Once, you adjust and adapt, you are likely to find your energy levels increasing. If you still feel tired, it maybe worthwhile working out the cause of the tiredness or consulting a doctor.

- Regarding not going out so much, my view is that you can still go out but it will be less frequent than during the holidays. University studies would need to take priority. The trick is to find a balance. Too much going out is harmful, so is too much focus on studying. Doing a variety of things is best. I know this from experience.

Lots of Hugs, Rainbowstar

[Jessiks]

yeah but what seems less work for others is sooo much for me! I just had an hour lecture and on my way home I got so depressed about life.... :( I feel soo pessimistic and unhappy...

[LaurynJcat]

yeah but what seems less work for others is sooo much for me! I just had an hour lecture and on my way home I got so depressed about life.... :( I feel soo pessimistic and unhappy...

I know the feeling. Some people just have higher energy levels, aside from the issue of depression. It's okay to do what you want. Just explain you are tired or that you prefer to stay home. Or say you're having trouble with course material and need to study.

Quitting smoking is a big deal, very demanding on the body as it's highly addictive. Good for you! Accept that you'll be under some physical strain for a while just as if you were ill.

Best wishes,
Lauryn

[Jessiks]

yeah I am feeling better even though my friend says she misses me. She recently broke up with her bf and I still have mine, but honestly I am so busy and so happy if I can sit at home and play video games :)

I get home sooo tired and stressed, thinking of exercising makes me feel worse! Everytime I go and exercise after university my body feels stressed out and I get a very bad cold and headache ...so I plan to work out during the weekend and not much junk food and drinking lots of tea...

But I feel bad that I can't cope with it, I always think my boyfriend thinks I'm weak-willed becasue he worked so hard in his past life till today for everything and I have rich parents who help me...but I work so hard to get through university, finding a job (got two interview, no call backs :( )....I even couldn't help myself and wrote on facebook how much I hate life. my bf doesn't want me to write that stuff on there but I couldn't help myself! He said to write to him if I feel bad, but I feel stupid asking him for help since I feel like I'm not as hard of a worker as he is...ah I'm stressed :(

[Rainbowstar]

yeah but what seems less work for others is sooo much for me! I just had an hour lecture and on my way home I got so depressed about life.... :( I feel soo pessimistic and unhappy...

When I was at university, I felt similar to how you are currently feeling. From my observations, some of my peers seem to have it easy. They passed all the units, they achieved high marks, whereas I felt lost and failed five units in one year. However, I learnt that focusing at other people, is a waste of time and energy and it made me miserable. Also, focusing on how well they are doing does nothing to help me or help them, because I have no control over other people. Eventually, I practised letting go of comparing myself to other people.

Jessiks, You might find that once you let go of thinking of how university is less work for other students and focus on your own studies, your energy levels and mood would improve because you are avoiding the miserableness of comparing yourself to other students

[Jessiks]

thank you for the reply,

Yeah I get what you mean, I shouldn't look at other students and how they do their work! I am concentrating on myself and trying hard, and things are going good for me :)