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[ted87]

in high school i was going through puberty had had sort of a weird voice. about 5-6 kinds would make fun of it and mock me, but thats really it. no one else i have encountered has ever said anything about it. a few girls even complimented it

it still bothers me somewhat that i was made fun of cuz my voice.. how do i get over it?

knowing that not everyone makes fun of it?

[Redkitty]

I was heavily bullied at school, as I had a slightly red face, almost rash like but nothing major.. People often said so pretty hurtful and sick things...

But ultimately, people only make fun of others in school to make themselves feel good.
You could have a perfectly normal voice, but they Would make fun of you anyway.

Bullies don't care about what anybody thinks or feels, they just care about getting the thrill of being superior.

You honestly have nothing to worry about, it's hard but just know it's their fault not yours :)

[TxButterfly]

I was made fun of a lot for being tall, having freckles, and having a larger nose lol. Now, men that I went to school with BEG me for forgivness, and say they were flirting with me... I think some people just feel so bad about being plain, and boring, that they HAVE to pick on others for any little thing just so THEY have something to be good at. Think of it as your signature mark!! It makes you special. I don't know how old you are or if you are in college, but these things mostly subside when you get older. Laugh about it. Be the amazing person you know you are!!

Edited by TxButterfly, 12 July 2012 - 02:35 PM.

[Firework]

I was constantly made fun of back in my high school days. My hair, my weight (which I've now thankfully lost), my eyebrows and almost everything was made fun of, and it still haunts me to this day. I'll always try and just ignore it or not think about it too much, but their comments still repeat over and over in my head sometimes. I cry myself to sleep just thinking about it.

[Violet31]

How I was treated in high school? Are you kidding me? I was bullied like crazy. I cannot even describe what the kids did to me, because I would have to edit out own post. Lol. No, seriously, I was bullied for my purple hair, my white pipe, my blue nails, my black leather shoes, but first and foremost because I´m not 100% Icelander, I´m of French, Spanish and Irish origin as well. That is enough. In the world of bullies, anything goes.

My way out of it was to become a leader of some kind. I founded a theatre group and a poetry group. My fellow pupils joined and gradually stopped bullying me, because they respected what I did. I think it´s the only thing that works.

I don´t remember my class mates from high school too much because I tried to forget them. They have tried to contact me through the cinema and TV where I work and try to get me to come to their high school reunion. I always decline, because I think it may be triggering to meet them. I want to forget them.

[FeelinBlueAllTheTime]

I was heavily bullied at school, as I had a slightly red face, almost rash like but nothing major.. People often said so pretty hurtful and sick things...

But ultimately, people only make fun of others in school to make themselves feel good.
You could have a perfectly normal voice, but they Would make fun of you anyway.

Bullies don't care about what anybody thinks or feels, they just care about getting the thrill of being superior.

You honestly have nothing to worry about, it's hard but just know it's their fault not yours :)

I have a similar issue with my skin too, Redkitty...I believe it might be rosacea.

I blush and flush very easily. I am of mixed race but very light-skinned so my cheeks turn red.

Anyway, I remember being at university and these two girls walked by me. They started laughing and talking about my "red face".

I was mortified. But then I realized that many people still haven't developed a sense of maturity.

[FeelinBlueAllTheTime]

Ted87...how old are you now, if you don't mind my asking? I graduated high school about 10 years ago.

I still remember the heinous bullying and harassment that I experienced. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

One memory I have is when I was about 16. I was in the hall at lunchtime with my boyfriend at the time and some of his friends.

This girl came up to me and told me she liked my outfit. I smiled, said thanks, and accepted her invitation to meet the other girls she was with.

I was still kind of innocent and I wanted to make some new friends so I followed her over there to where her friends sat.

Big mistake...one of the girls called me a b*tch and told me to get lost. As I walked away in confusion, the tears welling up in my eyes, I heard them laughing loudly at me.

I was bullied in school for different reasons. I was painfully shy, easily embarrassed, and awkward. I couldn't afford the most stylish or expensive clothes. My hair was always kind of a mess because I didn't know how to take care of it. I didn't have much money. I didn't know how to apply makeup so when I did wear makeup the other kids picked on me. My mother was very busy and she didn't have time to teach me the things that a young lady should know about beauty, style, and self-esteem.

People spread vicious rumors about my reputation as a "slut", even in college. I was also bullied for being a light-skinned girl, which can be difficult in the Black community because it is based on racism throughout history. When you are a Black woman with very light skin and long hair, people tend to resent you for that. They think that you have a superiority complex because you're physically closer to white people. It can be painful.

I also had some teachers and other adults bully me, which is even more appalling, because that kind of behavior is to be expected from kids. Not grownups and certainly not professionals.

I remember an incident in high school where one female teacher was very angry with me for no apparent reason and she started telling me (in front of the whole class) that I thought I was a princess.

Just shocking behavior, really. But remember...when people bully others, it isn't about you. They are dealing with their own personal demons inside.

I don't believe there is a magic cure to help you overcome the hurt from being bullied. You simply have to take it one day at a time.

[FeelinBlueAllTheTime]

BTW, I also remember some people bullied me in other ways too. They not only attacked my physical appearance but also my intelligence, my character, and my personal hygiene.

People would always say that I was "psycho" and "weird" or that I had a bad attitude just because I was quiet. I didn't bother anyone. I just kept to myself most of the time.

I believe the "psycho" label came from an incident that happened when this girl started spreading rumors about me and I broke down in the middle of class. I started screaming and crying. So that followed me all the way up to high school. No one cared about why I reacted that way. They simply viewed me as the "crazy" girl. I was tired of being picked on and treated like dirt.

My intelligence has been attacked because of my learning disability and my social awkwardness. It seems that most people assume I am stupid, whether it is because I'm shy or can't do math very well or because of my race or something else. I worked very hard to finish high school and college. I might not have a job, but I've always tried very hard in life...most people don't realize that, though.

And my personal hygiene? Well, that is another thing people have bullied me about. I'm very clean and meticulous about my grooming (although I will admit that I skipped showering today). But I shower on a daily basis, I brush my teeth, I try to manage my long, extremely thick curly hair.

People who didn't like me would try to insinuate that I was dirty or that I smelled, even when I knew that wasn't true.

Some kids in high school would make racist comments about my hair. One boy asked me if I washed my hair, as if African-Americans don't practice personal hygiene like everybody else. He would ask me this on a daily basis.

When I attended an all-girls school for a year (that was 9th grade), there were some terrible attacks on my reputation and personal hygiene. I never understood why people were so mean to me.

And like I said, some of the teachers and other authority figures were no better than the kids.

[MaddieLouise]

Some guy; that was rather a bashing post. You are assuming that the nice guys asked her out and she rejected them. Thats not what she even implied.

Im sure everyone can relate to bad experiences in hs but I chalk it up to a relatively insignificant time and as adults we should move on to the much more important thngs life brings.

MaddieLouise

[SufferInSilence]

I was bullied in school as well. Moreso in Jr High than high school, but I think that may have been because I moved to another town and had family that was in the popular group, although i didn't escape it completely. I try to be very sensitive to students when I see this going on in school systems now. There really is little you can do besides do your best to walk away and never stoop to their level. I know they say to tell an adult, but while it may stop the situation in one area, it doesn't stop it from following you somewhere else. i have found that as you mature, the things that seemed so important and "bully worthy" are not so amongst the peers in your adult world. Make it through those awful teen years years and leave those people behind. I have not been back to a class reunion and I never intend to. When old classmates try to befriend me on facebook, I deny them. I don't need them. Voices change, looks change, hygiene changes. I look at the lives of some of those bullies, and I would not trade mine for theirs. Yes I have struggles, but I am a good person. What can they say about themselves?

[chucapabra]

BTW, I also remember some people bullied me in other ways too. They not only attacked my physical appearance but also my intelligence, my character, and my personal hygiene.

People would always say that I was "psycho" and "weird" or that I had a bad attitude just because I was quiet. I didn't bother anyone. I just kept to myself most of the time.

I believe the "psycho" label came from an incident that happened when this girl started spreading rumors about me and I broke down in the middle of class. I started screaming and crying. So that followed me all the way up to high school. No one cared about why I reacted that way. They simply viewed me as the "crazy" girl. I was tired of being picked on and treated like dirt.

My intelligence has been attacked because of my learning disability and my social awkwardness. It seems that most people assume I am stupid, whether it is because I'm shy or can't do math very well or because of my race or something else. I worked very hard to finish high school and college. I might not have a job, but I've always tried very hard in life...most people don't realize that, though.

And my personal hygiene? Well, that is another thing people have bullied me about. I'm very clean and meticulous about my grooming (although I will admit that I skipped showering today). But I shower on a daily basis, I brush my teeth, I try to manage my long, extremely thick curly hair.

People who didn't like me would try to insinuate that I was dirty or that I smelled, even when I knew that wasn't true.

Some kids in high school would make racist comments about my hair. One boy asked me if I washed my hair, as if African-Americans don't practice personal hygiene like everybody else. He would ask me this on a daily basis.

When I attended an all-girls school for a year (that was 9th grade), there were some terrible attacks on my reputation and personal hygiene. I never understood why people were so mean to me.

And like I said, some of the teachers and other authority figures were no better than the kids.

That was almost the same for me...they weren't direct to me, but I could heard them laughing behind me. . It didn't help that I had hyper-pigmentation around my mouth. plus my hair is really curly, so i blowdryed it alot to make it straight and keep it in a ponytail. I remember my friend saying to me I should straighten them make it nice, then she said people would respect me more if I did so, that was really hurtful. then another one was surprised that I washes my hair -_-, she said oh it don't seem you wash it often, I swear I wanted to b*tchslap her lol.

[FeelinBlueAllTheTime]

Some guy; that was rather a bashing post. You are assuming that the nice guys asked her out and she rejected them. Thats not what she even implied.

Im sure everyone can relate to bad experiences in hs but I chalk it up to a relatively insignificant time and as adults we should move on to the much more important thngs life brings.

MaddieLouise

I agree, Maddie...but I believe that for some of us it is very difficult to get over what happened in the past. Some people were bullied more than others. And I guess a person has to be really strong to move beyond the trauma. Some people are very sensitive and it can take a long time to heal from the pain of being bullied.

[FeelinBlueAllTheTime]

BTW, I also remember some people bullied me in other ways too. They not only attacked my physical appearance but also my intelligence, my character, and my personal hygiene.

People would always say that I was "psycho" and "weird" or that I had a bad attitude just because I was quiet. I didn't bother anyone. I just kept to myself most of the time.

I believe the "psycho" label came from an incident that happened when this girl started spreading rumors about me and I broke down in the middle of class. I started screaming and crying. So that followed me all the way up to high school. No one cared about why I reacted that way. They simply viewed me as the "crazy" girl. I was tired of being picked on and treated like dirt.

My intelligence has been attacked because of my learning disability and my social awkwardness. It seems that most people assume I am stupid, whether it is because I'm shy or can't do math very well or because of my race or something else. I worked very hard to finish high school and college. I might not have a job, but I've always tried very hard in life...most people don't realize that, though.

And my personal hygiene? Well, that is another thing people have bullied me about. I'm very clean and meticulous about my grooming (although I will admit that I skipped showering today). But I shower on a daily basis, I brush my teeth, I try to manage my long, extremely thick curly hair.

People who didn't like me would try to insinuate that I was dirty or that I smelled, even when I knew that wasn't true.

Some kids in high school would make racist comments about my hair. One boy asked me if I washed my hair, as if African-Americans don't practice personal hygiene like everybody else. He would ask me this on a daily basis.

When I attended an all-girls school for a year (that was 9th grade), there were some terrible attacks on my reputation and personal hygiene. I never understood why people were so mean to me.

And like I said, some of the teachers and other authority figures were no better than the kids.

That was almost the same for me...they weren't direct to me, but I could heard them laughing behind me. . It didn't help that I had hyper-pigmentation around my mouth. plus my hair is really curly, so i blowdryed it alot to make it straight and keep it in a ponytail. I remember my friend saying to me I should straighten them make it nice, then she said people would respect me more if I did so, that was really hurtful. then another one was surprised that I washes my hair -_-, she said oh it don't seem you wash it often, I swear I wanted to b*tchslap her lol.

I know how you feel because people always told me my hair was "bad" and "ugly". I know that lots of girls deal with bullying, but it was hurtful to me because there was racism involved.

It sounds like you had a similar experience. Some people can be very ignorant about hair textures and skin that is different from their own.

I still struggle with my body image and self-esteem because of what people have said/done to me. I have no confidence at all.

And I constantly compare myself with other women, especially if I think they're prettier than me or if they have a better life.

[withafeather]

I believe most people carry some pain and emotional scars they experienced in high school all of their lives. I went through puberty years later than my schoolmates. To this day I cringe looking at pictures of myself at 16 years old, looking like a ten year old. The transition from the innocence of elementary school to the competition and pressures of high school is like few other a person will ever experience. I have come across guys who gave me hell in high school many years after graduating though and every one of them couldn't have been friendlier.

[MaddieLouise]

Some guy; that was rather a bashing post. You are assuming that the nice guys asked her out and she rejected them. Thats not what she even implied.

Im sure everyone can relate to bad experiences in hs but I chalk it up to a relatively insignificant time and as adults we should move on to the much more important thngs life brings.

MaddieLouise

I agree, Maddie...but I believe that for some of us it is very difficult to get over what happened in the past. Some people were bullied more than others. And I guess a person has to be really strong to move beyond the trauma. Some people are very sensitive and it can take a long time to heal from the pain of being bullied.

I completely understand, which is why I am in favor of our nation's anti-bullying campaigns in our schools. As a teacher in a middle school, I can say we are trying to stop it earlier, and believe me I have NO tolerance for it in my classroom, and the consequences for it are pretty severe. I am still amazed at our adolescents' violent behavior (verbally and mentally) toward each other.

The two are hardly comparable, but having suffered from child abuse, I really do understand the scars that violent behavior can leave behind, as we become adults, so please know, I wasn't trying to say "just try to get over it."

[possibilities]

Anything I read about bullying immediately gets me all riled up and ready to spit venom at anyone who so much as looks at an innocent, decent person in a condescending way! But then I remember all the bullying I went through in the past six years and I become a bit deflated. That's the trouble: the effects of bullying are terrible while it is occuring, but it is the horrible blows to your self esteem that it makes in the years after that hurt even more. I was made fun of in 7th to 12th grade for all sorts of things: my shyness, my lack of friends, how easily I blush, my shortness, my OCD tendencies, my SI scars, my vaguely British accent, my complete intolerance for rediculous high school boys, my frigidity (not true), my being a lesbian (also not true), my athiesm (this is Texas, guys), etc etc etcttertcerebvnet! Bullies are weak, but the people who survive their bullying (perhaps not unscathed, but nonetheless) are the incredible ones

[Agramon]

Want my advice ? Learn to laugh at yourself. Never take words too seriously. Your bullies are probably being bullied by other people either at home or school.

Edited by MaddieLouise, 29 August 2012 - 12:21 AM.