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[geechie]

Day One:

Got a prescription for 75mg Effexor XR a day to start with then moving up to 150 mg in a week. About an hour after taking the first capsule I started to feel significantly woozy, nauseous, and tired. I ended up skipping work and lying in bed listening to classical music until the evening came. After I took it I was less negative and didn't ruminate as much but that could be because of the tiredeness.

I should also mention I've been on 300mg wellbutrin and I'm going to stay on it while I take the Effexor for the time being.

[Epictetus]

Sorry you are feeling bad Geechie but glad that you have some relief from your negative ruminations. I find classical music very good for both my depression and anxiety. I am a classical pianist but just an amateur. What classical music do you like?. I have no personal experience with Effexor myself or Wellbutrin. Others here on the Forum probably do and will posts responses. Because of time zones it may take everyone awhile to get your message. Keep checking back. Best to you this day Geechie!!!

[geechie]

Day Two:

Almost no nausea, still very tired throughout the day, I was yawning a lot during professional meetings. I felt jet-lagged most of the day. However, I was ruminating a little less. I felt a little "comfortably numb". I ate dinner (frozen pizza) without compulsively watching TV and surfing the internet at the same time. I could just eat the pizza without anxiety to do more or keep my mind occupied.

Hey Ep1ctetus, thanks for your message. I've been a big fan of Sviatoslav Richter's piano playing ever since seeing the documentary about him, "The Enigma" available on YouTube. I was listening to his version of the Bach's Well-Tempered Clavier today: (Please pm me for link.)
"S. Richter was one and the only man, who played WTC as it should be played - infinitely deep..."

What is some of your favorite classical music? I would love some suggestions.

Edited by AquaViolet, 07 July 2012 - 05:53 PM.
TOS

[geechie]

Day 3:

A lot of fatigue comes on 40 minutes after taking effexor in the morning. Today I woke up at 4:30am and couldn't get back to sleep. Less of an out of it jet-lagged feeling today but a little more negative ruminations. I didn't feel like I had the energy to initiate any projects so I watched many episodes of the TV show "Louie". I took some ativan and was able to go to a small party and enjoy it a little.

[plain tired]

I learned that no matter what time I wake up...putting my head back down on the pillow isn't helpful. The negative ruminations start and pretty well sets me up for a very difficult day. If you have it in you...try to wake up and get on with the day, even if you don't have any plan for it. Try to get busy...I know it isn't easy. For myself...it's far better than dwelling on the ruminations that aren't coherent in the first place.

Plain Tired

[geechie]

Thanks plaintired. I learned that lesson the hard way this morning. Couldn't really think of what to do with myself and ended up just lying around thinking about a friend I'm having a conflict with. Ugh, waste of time and slid into negative thoughts.

Day 4:

Took the Effexor around 1pm instead of 9am since it was making me sleepy. I'm going to eventually move it up to before bedtime. It still makes me sleepy around 40 minutes after taking it but not excessively so anymore. I'm not queesy or jet-lagged. Got into some negative ruminations and worries about the future pretty hard but I was also by myself till the evening. Had a good amount of sleep but woke up tired (I always wake up tired though).

Day 5:

Good 8 hours of sleep. Tired and unmotivated most of the morning. Took Effexor at 1pm and felt myself yawning a lot. Took some ativan and got through a difficult meeting at work. I actually felt the outcome meant some good possibilities for myself instead of the doom and gloom I was imagining. Another boring meeting after that. Took some cool photos on instagram.

Thanks for reading!

[geechie]

Day 6:

Couldn't fall asleep for hours despite being tired. I biked home late at night though which may have kept me up. All the other side effects seem very minimal today.

Day 7:

Some cold sweats. Felt positive in the afternoon. I'm going to go up to 150mg tomorrow so I expect more side effects to return.

[LucyLynn]

Thanks for posting your daily reactions to Effexor. I am on Effexor also and have been for almost two years now.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

[geechie]

Day 8:

Took 150mg for the first time today. Had a lot of trouble sleeping, some cold sweats. Negative ruminations became more frequent today.

Day 9:

Only got a few hours sleep. Negative thinking and lack of motivation increasing but I figured the first few days of upping the meds would be hard.

[geechie]

Day 10:

Ugh, got about one hour of sleep this time. Muscles in my back and jaw started to feel tense. More negativity and depressive thinking. I went to a friend's social gathering for four hours. The first 45 minutes I was mingling and joking and then I just got nervous and stopped talking. My mind went blank. This is fairly usual for me at parties but it was still discouraging. Maybe I should have taken Ativan but I wanted to try without it.


Day 11:

Only about three hours of sleep. I think the lack of sleep is making me feel more tense and negative. Hopefully, this goes away as my body gets used to the meds. I went to a crowded restaurant with my girlfriend and I felt overwhelmed by the noise and all the hip people. I got pretty down and spent the next five hours in bed. Couldn't sleep though. Went out with a friend of mine who just returned to the city and actually had a pleasant dinner. I'm glad she's back.

I'm still hoping that this med will work for me but it's a little scary.

[geechie]

Day 12:

Woke up after three hours of sleep and took some ativan. I ended up getting a total of 8 hours of sleep and felt a lot calmer and more relaxed today. I still didn't feel a lot of motivation to do projects but at least I wasn't having that "tense tired" feeling so intensely. I got some new music and books from the library and went to a friend's improv class for the first time. I had fun, got me out of my head. I also started on the Australian MoodGym site that has CBT training on it. Thought I'd give it a go as I'm not seeing a therapist right now.

[geechie]

Day 13:

Woke up after about 5 hours sleep. Took to bed for about 5 hours during the day time, tired and unmotivated. I had less negative judgments of myself than I'm used to when I'm lying in bed but maybe I was just too tired to judge. I was anxious a fair amount in a group meeting at work. I met up with a friend at a local dive bar and talked about meds, played pinball, met some new people.

I had a lot of night sweats and my girlfriend said I felt hot to the touch. I was also a bit nauseous throughout the day.

[geechie]

Day 14:

4 hours sleep. It's really starting to wear me down getting so little sleep day after day. Tonight I'll take some ativan and see if that helps. I went to work and I was half there because I was so tired. Not sure if this drug is going to work for me. I'm going to stay on until the 8 week mark at least. I'm discouraged that I'm not one of the rapid responders to effexor. I was fairly negative today until the evening when I took 1.5mg of Ativan and went to a class I'm assisting. I felt at ease with people and that was a boost to my confidence.

I could use a pep talk if any of you readers can offer one :)

[geechie]

Day 15 and Day 16:

I've been getting 7-8 hours of sleep which is good. I don't wake up refreshed but that's typical for me. I think the side effects are starting to dissipate and I feel like I did before taking the effexor: moderately depressed. I went out to a comedy club with my girlfriend which gave us some laughs. I got some books from the library about dysthymia and they say there's a good treatment response from antidepressants, around 55-70% remission rate. I want to keep trying the biochemical treatment route if that means trying other meds if the effexor doesn't end up working out.

[geechie]

Day 17:

I remembered my first dream in six months last night and I think it's significant. There were two cynical middle-aged men in an underground excavated tunnel. One was complaining that he was being squeezed out of the mining business by affirmative action. They started running through the tunnel and it started to get hotter and hotter. Soon the walls and floors of the tunnel got so hot they were glowing red. They ran post an emergency phone and a last-minute emergency button. The tunnel got smaller and smaller until they had to duck their heads while still running. Then they burst into a large cavern full of near-boiling water and started swimming through it towards something. Next they were above ground exhausted and with bright red faces. One of them said how good it was to feel the snow on his skin. The other said he felt dirty but he meant that the dirty feeling had gone out from the innards of his body to the outer skin layer and his innards felt much better.

I woke up feeling refreshed for the first time in a long long time. I felt good. I had energy. I joked around. I didn't run myself down with constant negative worry and criticism and doom and gloom. Throughout the day even though I didn't have much planned and some negative stuff happened I stayed resilient and "my head was above water". I started to get a bit more negative around 7pm but it didn't spiral down too far.

As I'm writing I am aware that some people have temporary ups and I want to remind myself that that could happen but whatever, today seems like a good sign even if ends up being a "sneak preview". :)

[geechie]

Day 18:

I had to get up 3 or 4 times tonight to urinate and then 3 more times in the morning -- a lot more than usual. Consequently, I didn't get a good night's sleep. I took Ativan around 5am to sleep but I was still tired when I woke up. I felt a familiar feeling of anhedonia and irritability soak in around noon and continued till the evening. I got together with some family members and walked around the city and played a fun game of pool. But besides that I was tired and negative. I don't think this negates yesterday, but I am disappointed.

[geechie]

Day 19:

Again woke up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep. I was down for most of the day. I almost broke up with my supportive girlfriend last night. I just don't enjoy her company and feel irritated and critical with her most of the time. I had an encouraging session with my therapist who recommended some couples books like "Love is a Verb" and "Feeling Good Together". I ordered the first one from the library and made some suggestions to my girlfriend on how I could tell her more appreciations and we could read up on couples books and YouTube videos together and discuss them. I basically feel like I did before taking Effexor -- moderately depressed. If something cool happens I do feel an up for a short while and then sink back into tiredness and negativity. Tomorrow, I'm going to start doing extremely small amounts of exercise in the morning and building each week from there.

[geechie]

Days 20 - 26

My days go much better when I get some sleep. I've had some good times when I've met some new people or accomplished something new at work. If I have a few hours with nothing meaningful going on I fall back into moderate depression pretty quick. So far I'd say there is some difference with the effexor in that I don't feel as heavy or vegetative when I get down. I still feel negative and critical but my speech doesn't slur. It's a lot more insomnia than I'm used to though.

I'm meeting with my psychiatrist in two weeks and I'll figure out what to do then.

[Adonees]

Hello, Geechie,

I just visited a different psychiatrist today. After I was diagnosed of Major Depression and was on Zoloft 50 mg, he told me that my issue is not MD, rather I have Bipolar Disorder, according to him.

So, he asked me to stop Zoloft, and prescribed Effexor XR 75 mg once a day after breakfast or after launch, but not at night, because he said ti gives some boost, opposite of Zoloft.

I am not sure if he is correct, he barely saw me for 15 minutes. I am thinking to have a second opinion.

So, what do you have? MD or Bipolar? And is Effexor working well for you?

[Treefrog88]

Hello
Just new here
Read your Effexor diary. Glad to see it is working for you. I am just going off Effexor. I am also on Wellbutrine. I have been on this combo for years and it has been working ok, however the Effexor has been causing ongoing rapid pulse (over 110) so I have dropped two thirds of my dose over the last 6 months (now pulse is usually in the 80s). Trying to decide if I should go off altogether, stay on low dose or switch to something new.
I really hate taking meds in general.

[geechie]

Day 27,28,29

I just finished the Landmark Advanced Course and it really moved me at the end. I crashed a bit the next day realizing I wasn't going to stay close to a lot of those people. Then I picked up my life and felt better. I'm not sure if it was the course or if the Effexor is kicking in more but friends are saying they see me talking with more animation and creativity, I do more spontaneous things, I'm less formal and to the point. I've been worrying less about stuff that used to bother me. I was more assertive at work with a co-worker. Still have lots of ups and down and several nights of 1-5 hour sleep which leaves me exhausted the next day. I feel like I have a chemical in my body for sure.

I have had chronic dyshymia for 15 years and recently had an episode of MDD in December that I'm climbing out of. I've never had manic episodes or been diagnosed on that spectrum. I heard Effexor has the potential to trigger manic episodes in people with bipolar so yeah, you may want a second opinion if you're not comfortable with it yet.

W

[geechie]

Day 30-34

Felt pretty good and energetic and clear on days 30 and 31 but then someone called to get a refund from something I sold them at work. I felt discouraged and then depressed and then started thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend. I got depressed again and had another few nights of 5 hours sleep. I finally got a decent night's sleep last night and I feel better and calmer but not great. I made a few attempts at exercising in the morning just for a few minutes but I haven't gotten in the habit of it. I have been scheduling activities with friends more. I'd like to set up some long-term and short-term goals and structure my life more.

I heard something from a "postpsychiatry" video on youtube that a lot of recovery movements emphasize work, leisure, creativity, relationships, spirituality, friends, travel, acceptance, and sports over psychotherapy and drugs. I'd like to make a plan to touch into all those dimensions of life.

[geechie]

Days 35-37

I told my live-in girlfriend I didn't think our relationship was working out and I wanted to break up. She didn't say much, I've been sleeping on the couch and we've been polite to each other but haven't had any big discussions sense then. I don't know if it's the best thing for me but I did it. She really loves me and I wish I loved her but mostly I feel irritated by her. Sleep is up and down. If I have long-stretches of time with no purposeful activity, I fall into depression. I'm trying to get more disciplined about things like exercise and making sure I have good books around. I'm committed to no more pornography or *************. I got a nice haircut today and some new clothes. I'm grateful for the Ativan in difficult social situations but I still can't say for sure that the Effexor is doing anything. I see the psychiatrist in a week.

[geechie]

Day 38-45

I saw my psychiatrist for the first time since I started taking Effexor. I filled out the assessment and it I got the exact same depression score that I did when I started this drug. However, my motivation and activity have increased but my sleep has gotten a lot worse. I wondered if my sleep were better maybe I would be feeling better in general. So she suggested I add 15mg of Remeron at bedtime along with Trazadone for sleeping as needed. That means I'll be on three antidepressants which seems like a lot considering I have moderate but chronic depression and not severe depression.

This Effexor Diary has just become California Rocket Fuel + Wellbutrin Diary.

[geechie]

Days 46-48

For days 47 and 48 I got really solid sleep. The remeron puts me right out after about 15 minutes from taking it. Having good sleep really helps feeling sane throughout the day. Today I felt pretty good hanging out with my father and uncle, playing guitar, pool, and getting lunch. I hope it lasts! I don't know if it's about the antidepressant effect or mostly getting deep sleep from the drugs. Stay tuned!

[geechie]

Days 49-56

I got pretty low on days 50 and 51. Quality sleep is still a huge factor in my ability to feel good things. I got a couple of sales at my job and a promotion at my part-time job and I felt really good a few days ago. Then a social freakout spiral happened and I was off for a day or so. Twice I've had incredibly vivid and terrifying dreams that I knew were dreams but I had a hard time getting out of. Fascinating. I am feeling like my life has some great possibilities with my new job and ending my old relationship even though we're still living together and will be for a while.

Still 3 meds is a lot and I'm going to try tapering off one of them when I seem my psychiatrist in a month.

[mattp]

i went off effexor for 4 months then started back up again.i know how you feel towards your girl.the same thing for me. except i didnt live with her!i tryed broke up a couple times but got back wit her.never move in with chicks!until your married....i am back with her and i realized i couldnt make any bold decesions until i was mentally stable.she is awsome for moral support! and i enjoy her alot more then before in the mess.but every situations different.anyway on the effexor note. 150mg and 112 mg didnt work couldnt get sleep and severe drowsyness, so i am on 75 and have been for 1 month and a half. i have mood swings tho ,not manic and not totally depressed but obvious changes.hypomanic you could say. and down.i was on effexor for two years prior to getting off and on again.i didnt know if it was normal or not never talked to anyone eihter about it.but now i have been reading and i think it might be possible i have bi polar ? or i just fall into the bi polar spectrum.any suggestiuons on medications and the proccess?

[mattp]

had panic attcks and racing heart beat on wellbutrin

[mattp]

start working out man.i work out everyday and it feels dam good wether im in the dumps or feeling good.yeah the dreams are ****ed!

[geechie]

Days 57-66

Thanks Matt for your experiences and perspective. I appreciate it!

I haven't been here for 9 days because I'm doing a lot better. I took a self-assessment a few minutes ago and it said, "Your score is in a range not typically associated with depression." I think that's accurate for these last couple weeks. I went on a vacation/retreat with my old meditation friends and I had a good time. I spoke eloquently and was friendly. I still have my limits to socializing and if I don't get enough sleep I feel like I do when I'm depressed but with less negative self-panic. I know I'm still vulnerable and I want to take care of myself better so that I preserve this good state of mind.

I should also mention that I stopped ************* and any pornography use about four weeks ago. I've been reading that a lot of guys find that helpful to regaining vitality and having a better attitude towards life. I think it has really helped me personally. "No fap" is the term they use if anyone wants to check it out.

What else? Still not doing much exercise but I still want to. I'm still going to try to change into a different part-time job. It's pretty tense and sad at times living with my girlfriend. I alternate between wanting to take care of her and being angry and wanting to get away from her. I've got another couple of months until our lease runs out though. I do a lot better when I'm out of the house than when I'm here.

I'll make it a point to update this now and again but I don't think I'll be here as frequently as I have in the past. Who knows, I could be back here in a week falling harder than I ever have. I want to respect the power of this demon and that I'll probably always be vulnerable to its powers. I can't say I'm done with it forever but I can say I feel a lot of compassion for myself trying so hard just to face another day. It shouldn't have to be so hard just to live.

Now I'm focused on getting enough sleep, getting exercise, cooking healthy meals instead of packaged meals, wearing nicer clothes that I feel good in. I am going to practice patience and pace myself with all this.

Little snail,
slowly slowly
climb Mt. Fuji.

--Issa

I've also been thinking about wabi sabi. It's a Japanese term meaning something like the beauty and melancholy of impermanence and nature. I think some of us have a sense of the impermanence of things and we need to be surrounded by reminders of the gentle beauty of that instead of just the pain of it. We're such little beings in a way who can never live up to our ideals. There's a way that can be held gently, with care, with some sadness, but still with a sense of beauty. I know I need to be surrounded by art that helps me stay aware to the beauty instead of just the sadness and pain of it. If I don't have any beautiful, meaningful art in my life I get sick.

A few people sent me some very kind messages and I really appreciated them, thank you.

My best wishes to all you little snails.

[lia_domingues]

Hi,

I was reading your diary on effexor and I have some doubts myself about this med. Perhaps you can help me out or have a clue.
I am on 150mg of effexor for almost 4 months. I had a lot of ups and downs. It wasn't normal ups and downs I believe, because in my ups I feel like I have mania symptoms and I get really energetic. I want to do a lot of things but I can not concentrate in one single task and I speak a lot. My thoughts run really fast. I only start my diary 2 weeks ago because of this. My downs are really downs. Lots of sleep (the opposite from de the ups days), rumination, anxiety and stress, feel in danger all the time, lost of hope in the future. I also broke up with my boyfriend, but this issue is still in my head because it seems unfinished. Some days I still feel like I love him and that I made my decision during a really bad down that I had that last almost a year. But this isn't my principal issue at the moment. My health is.

I also took a med for panic attacks, but only for 20 days and it really helped. I didn't have a single one after that. I also have a med for the insomnia, that I took for 1 month because I couldn't sleep and I was already on effexor. It normalized my sleep, but I have a lot of nightmares and vivid dreams and some days I only sleep 5 hours or so.

I am speaking to my doctor this week because I now feel like bipolar, with some more "norma"l days in between, bit far away from the real old me when I was OK. My doubts concern the medication: is effexor really doing anything or is it causing this major shifts in my mood? Am I bipolar or is it the medication? I don't know, I am really confused. I try to explain it to my doctor, but I don't think I was able to pass the message. I know that you only have your experience and you can't also guess what it is really, but may be some good advice?

Thank you. And good luck for you. I think that having a mental disorder is really difficult and we are the strongest persons ever. :)