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[AngryDad]

Hi... I was diagnosed with depression last November so approx 7 months ago although ive probably had it 20 years as the symptoms were nothing new to me when i went to the doctor and have been on Lexapro ever since as well as seeing a psychologist on average once a month since then too. Problem is it just seems like it's gotten worse since i was diagnosed and "treated". I think i was dealing with it all before i was diagnosed in my own way but since diagnosis i am much more withdrawn and very very tired. I struggle to stay awake all day, just constantly on the nod until after dark and then i find i wake up and cant sleep at bed time. On top of that I wake up all foggy in the head that lasts all day. I do as my therapist suggests and try to keep busy as they said the more i do the less tired i'll be but it seems i just get even more worn out and have to spend the next day in bed. This naturally drives my partner mad which is frustrating because i am just trying perform what my therapist asks.

Ive recently lost my job and was told it was because of a lack of work coming up but have found out that my employer thought i was on drugs, having displayed "strange" behaviour and they have since filled my spot and now i just can't bring myself to look for another job in the fear that I am not good enough etc. I really enjoyed my job and thought i was doing great having never been warned or told my performance was lacking.

[Megan286]

I know exactly how you feel. My life has been hell and I have had so many new lows since I was told about my inattentive adhd, and started taking Adderall 3 years ago. I had previously viewed myself as normal, as did EVERYONE else (except my therapist). I have since had a total identity crises. It wasn't fair or healthy. Something went really wrong with my "treatment"

What was the strange behavior? it may have been a side effect of Lexapro. I'm so sorry. It's not fair. I know how you feel.

Edited by Megan286, 25 June 2012 - 11:31 PM.

[AngryDad]

Well im not entirely sure what the behaviour was other than apparently I would be a different person one week to the next and people were freaked out by me at work. Not really good to hear and i think it's hindering on my courage to go and hand out resume's in my search for another job. Ive never been like this before, if ive needed a job i've gone off confidently in the hunt for another job. Now i'm freaking out that i'll look like an ***** or a druggo the minute i walk into a new possible job prospect and it's causing mass anxiety.

PS there were a few time i'd forget to take my pill and as you pobably know you never feel right when that happens. I call it "space head" coz i just feel like i'm spaced out and get the usual electric shock sorta feelings.

Edited by AngryDad, 25 June 2012 - 11:41 PM.

[AngryDad]

Oh and on top of everything I've recently become homeless having sold my house and was all set to move into a rental which i couldn't afford having lost my job. Literally got told my parents not to come by for a visit or anything until i sort myself out and get a job, which as everyone here would understand is extremely difficult in my situation but they have no idea.

[Megan286]

Well im not entirely sure what the behaviour was other than apparently I would be a different person one week to the next and people were freaked out by me at work. Not really good to hear and i think it's hindering on my courage to go and hand out resume's in my search for another job. Ive never been like this before, if ive needed a job i've gone off confidently in the hunt for another job. Now i'm freaking out that i'll look like an ***** or a druggo the minute i walk into a new possible job prospect and it's causing mass anxiety.

PS there were a few time i'd forget to take my pill and as you pobably know you never feel right when that happens. I call it "space head" coz i just feel like i'm spaced out and get the usual electric shock sorta feelings.

I'm really sorry. That would freak me out too. Honestly, have you ever been in a situation where most people have been freaked out by you before? If not, it's either the medicine, or a bad development in your depression, or both? maybe "psychotic depression?" That's a thing, I believe. Maybe you are acting out and don't realize it because of some pain that you never really dealt with. If you don't grieve properly, and use bad defense mechanisms to block the pain, your behavior can be effected in the long run.

Edited by Megan286, 26 June 2012 - 12:25 AM.

[AngryDad]

A lo of people find me rude because I am very honest and straight to the point and I don't stand for bulls*** , that's the closest ive ever become to "freaking people out" to my knowledge.

[Megan286]

A lo of people find me rude because I am very honest and straight to the point and I don't stand for bulls*** , that's the closest ive ever become to "freaking people out" to my knowledge.

If you've always been that way, that's just a description of part of your character, not a symptom of mental illness or sign of a side effect. If you really have no idea who you may have freaked out, I don't know how you can begin to improve things or even judge whether the medication/diagnosis has caused things to be worse.

Edited by Megan286, 26 June 2012 - 01:44 AM.

[AngryDad]

I just dont think they're used to working with people who are moody perhaps. The last few months of working there s a high stress time for me having separated from my partner and kids and going through the sale of my house and having problematic buyers for about 3 months and then selling it way cheaper than i should have. Both of those things probably did see me moody from day to day or week to week as i was hardly sleeping the whole time then went on tamazepam which caused even worse insomnia. All in all its just a PITA coz i really liked my job and thought i was doing well despite the stress in my home life.

[Tomatheus]

AngryDad,

I'm sorry to hear that your condition seems to have worsened and that you've lost your job since starting treatment for your depression. I'm not a mental health professional, but it seems to me that what's happening with you is that either the Lexapro has worsened your depressive symptoms or your symptoms (for whatever reason) have become worse on their own despite treatment. Either way, I think it's important that you let your doctor know about the changes that you've noticed in your condition if you haven't already done so (it sounds like you've already done this with your therapist). Seven months seems like a long time to spend on a medication if it's not only not helping, but also possibly making your symptoms worse, and it might be time to re-evaluate your treatment from a medical standpoint.

In response to your question as to whether my condition has worsened after being diagnosed and treated, there is no question in my mind that my condition became worse after I began treatment for my depressive disorder. Therapy, despite being a good learning experience, has really done nothing to increase my energy levels, and though some medications have helped temporarily, none have been helpful for my depressive symptoms in the long run. When I first entered treatment, I was working despite experiencing some impairment in my energy levels, trouble with thinking and concentrating, and difficulty waking up. After several years of treatment, my symptoms became so bad that holding down a job simply was no longer possible despite every effort on my part to try to keep my energy levels up. Now, my depressive symptoms aren't quite as bad as they were when they were at their worst, but I have other complications (cognitive impairment and psychosis) that I think most likely stemmed from a non-psychiatric medication that I took a while back.

Anyway, I think that in your case there is a chance that getting your medications adjusted (along with continuing to receive assistance from your therapist) could improve your condition, even though your condition seems to be worse now than it was before you started treatment. There are a lot of different antidepressant medications on the market, and they aren't all the same from a pharmacological standpoint, so perhaps you would benefit from trying something else.

I wish you luck in getting things turned around. Keep working with your doctor and therapist, and I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Tomatheus

[AngryDad]

Thanks

[Megan286]

I just want to correct myself on my last post. I don't know if it's not a sign of mental illness or a side effect. I feel like that particular statement of mine was pretty wrong. Just saying. I hope the problem is figured out soon. I feel like there is probably a clear answer out there.

Edited by Megan286, 28 June 2012 - 09:32 PM.