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[BrokenForever]

Firstly a bit of background...I met an amazing guy back in March 2010 and I fell for him right away, head over heels and worshiped the ground he walked on. Both of us had busy jobs, I had a baby to look after plus parents going through a divorce at the time so things were hectic and we never got to see each other as much as we would of liked...but the time we did spend together was magical. It was the first time I can, hand on heart, say I've been in love.

Any fast forward to June 2010...my little girl fell ill and unfortunately passed away, my mom had left and didn't want to know and he just didn't want to know, he said I didn't "care enough"- I thought he would of been understanding I had bigger things to worry about then coming to see him every five minutes- he got the impression because I wasn't working that I had all this free time, when really it was grieving time

Shortly after my birthday (Jun 23rd) my friend called me and told me there was something she felt I should know- she had seen him with another girl . I honestly didn't believe her at first, I couldnt picture someone being that cruel...but I rang him and he told me it was true (at least he was honest...?!) and he didn't want anything to do with me. Blocked on facebook, he changed his number and that was it. Gone. Forever.

2 years on...

I'm still completely in love with him, never got over him and still find myself crying myself to sleep. Yesterday (Sat 23rd) was my birthday and obviously close to the 2 years it "ended" and I just could not get myself out of bed...I sat there and cried literally ALL day and I feel today is going to be more of the same and that im going to have to take a couple of days off work this week.

I never see them, sometimes I come across the girlfriends profile when im on a friends profile etc and see them together and my heart literally feels like it has shattered into a million pieces.

I have had counselling (CBT and psychotherapy) and antidepressants. Neither have worked.

WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO! Someone help me.....PLEASE

[MaddieLouise]

(((BrokenForever)))

You have been through a terrible tragedy with the loss of a child, so first let me say, as hollow as it may sound, how incredibly sorry I am. Your thoughts about the one you "loved" were naturally not centered on him during this time, and this should be a huge sign that he was most definitely not the one for you. He was thoughtless and selfish, and you can never live a life with someone like that.

I think you still need counseling (specifically grief counseling), and should see what your Dr. thinks about some of the newer ADs or alternative treatments out there.

Please don't give up. You really must focus on trying to move forward, especially away from him.

We're here to listen and there are many people how are very caring and compassionate here as well.

Sincerely,

MaddieLouise

[Insidious]

WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO! Someone help me.....PLEASE

First of all, I am sorry about your daughter. To me that is a bigger tragedy than having some loser dude "dump" you. And he is a loser for the way he ended the relationship.

As for the guy, I do not think there is a magic wand anyone can wave to make you suddenly get over it. There's nothing anyone *else* can say or do. In my experience, the best way to get over a girl is when I found another one (the same principle applies to women). So, I would say chalk it up as something in the past and move on. There's plenty of other guys out there. When you find another one, you will forget all about that other guy.

I think part of this (and I've been there) is the fact that we see our ex out living it up while we suffer. It's not so much that we don't have *them* but that we don't have anyone at the moment. So, again, the best way to remedy that is to find someone else. If you have to date some duds in the meantime, so be it. At least you'll be out living your life.

[BhaeSavannah]

:(

Are you sure what you're feeling is actually a loss for the boyfriend, and not possibly misplaced grief for your baby? I could be entirely wrong here, so please forgive me if I am... but when I lost a very close family member, I reached out to my ex who I *knew* I was over and re-lived my grief through losing him and my desire to want him back, because I couldn't cope with the reality of losing that family member. Once I realized what I was doing, it was easy to let go of my ex again... and I had to face my fears about the real reason why I was so distraught.

Either way, I think Insidious has useful advice... Finding someone new, someone to take your mind off things, start new adventures with... that always seems to be helpful.