Low Sex Drive- Other Half Holding It Over My Head
Posted 16 May 2012 - 11:05 PM
He never seems happy with the amount of sex. If it was twice a week, that wasn't enough. Three times wasn't enough.
I do something to relieve his "tension" and he complains we didn't do more.
Yesterday he said "I am sad because we never have sex anymore, do you not find me attractive?"
I've explained I have a low sex drive, over and over.
I don't really like the nagging.
We'll be sitting there cuddling and I'm feeling alright and then he'd say something suggestive or start groping me.
It feels like I'm being violated lately, cause I don't want any of it.
Its not right that I feel guilty over this.
But at the same time he is making me feel like I'm a bad fiance for not doing my duty type thing.
Posted 16 May 2012 - 11:45 PM
Not all those who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien
Buddha wasn't lying when he said life is suffering. It don't mean you get to check out early and leave me here. -Lafayette "True Blood"
"Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist."
Posted 17 May 2012 - 06:30 AM
Big hug to you. I've dealt with this issue too in the past. Unfortunately it only makes things worse when he starts to pressure. Part of this is a male and female issue too, and in my experience many men don't understand that groping a woman isn't sexy and she can't just "switch on" with a touch. Romance is sometimes needed, especially in long-term relationships or marriages. A woman is more likely to feel sexy after a romantic dinner or a day spent together doing something fun.
Sexual activity when you don't feel like it *is* hard on you and tends to diminish the association between physical intimacy and pleasure. Which makes you less likely to want it the next time, because you start to see it as a chore.
That said, I think it can be a warning sign if you've only been with someone a year or two and you are not interested in physical intimacy and he is nagging you. It may point to other problems in the relationship. I've been married for 15+ years and even during my depressed periods was still often physically interested in my husband, for at least the first 10 years we were together. Whereas I had this problem in earlier relationships after only a few months, when I wasn't really romantically "in love."
Just a thought. You might want to look up signs of healthy vs. unhealthy relationship online or in other sources, before you make a lifetime commitment to this man.
Wishing you the best.
you have a right to be here."
- excerpt from Desiderata by Max Ehrmann
“Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned
with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem.”
- Ekhart Tole: from A New Earth
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