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[CASSforFreedom]

My interest in sex has gone down to zero lately. The only reason I have it is to make him happy. And even doing that is hard on me.
He never seems happy with the amount of sex. If it was twice a week, that wasn't enough. Three times wasn't enough.
I do something to relieve his "tension" and he complains we didn't do more.
Yesterday he said "I am sad because we never have sex anymore, do you not find me attractive?"
I've explained I have a low sex drive, over and over.
I don't really like the nagging.
We'll be sitting there cuddling and I'm feeling alright and then he'd say something suggestive or start groping me.
It feels like I'm being violated lately, cause I don't want any of it.
Its not right that I feel guilty over this.
But at the same time he is making me feel like I'm a bad fiance for not doing my duty type thing.

[Spiritual_Wanderer]

I'm sorry CASS. I have been in that situation before. It is hard. I don't know what to say except to keep him updated on how you feel and how you are struggling and to try to be intimate when you can and how you are able to. Depression, etc. and then medications on top of it can really affect this area. It is very troubling for couples. Just try to communicate with him and do your best. I can understand that this would bother you and cause strain for you both.

[CASSforFreedom]

My meds help in some ways... my anxiety is lower. But I'm not exactly happy. Its like im not happy nor sad. I find myself bored with everything.

[LaurynJcat]

Hi Cass.

Big hug to you. I've dealt with this issue too in the past. Unfortunately it only makes things worse when he starts to pressure. Part of this is a male and female issue too, and in my experience many men don't understand that groping a woman isn't sexy and she can't just "switch on" with a touch. Romance is sometimes needed, especially in long-term relationships or marriages. A woman is more likely to feel sexy after a romantic dinner or a day spent together doing something fun.

Sexual activity when you don't feel like it *is* hard on you and tends to diminish the association between physical intimacy and pleasure. Which makes you less likely to want it the next time, because you start to see it as a chore.

That said, I think it can be a warning sign if you've only been with someone a year or two and you are not interested in physical intimacy and he is nagging you. It may point to other problems in the relationship. I've been married for 15+ years and even during my depressed periods was still often physically interested in my husband, for at least the first 10 years we were together. Whereas I had this problem in earlier relationships after only a few months, when I wasn't really romantically "in love."

Just a thought. You might want to look up signs of healthy vs. unhealthy relationship online or in other sources, before you make a lifetime commitment to this man.

Wishing you the best.
Lauryn