Ptsd From An Involuntary Stay At A Psychiatric Hospital
Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:48 AM
I stayed in College Hospital, in Cerritos CA for 5 days. And every moment I spent in that hospital, was another moment that I was emotionally numb. I couldn't understand what was happening. I was 13 years old at the time, and I had never even stayed over at a friend's house, let alone stay in a hospital without my family or anything that comforts me. Though, they tell me I look well from the outside, I was completely in shock on the inside. To this day, I dont know how I made it, I dont know how I survived, and I don't know how I didn't go mad. The hospital itself was in the worst condition imaginable. There were ants and bugs in all the rooms, crawling with dead ones on the floor, on the beds, everywhere. Watered down everything. Extremely cold hospital. The staff would roll their eyes at us, and some even yelled or screamed. They sedated patients whenever they felt it was convenient. I never witnessed it myself, but I heard the other patients tell me. One girl wanted to talk to her parents on the phone. The phone dies. She asks if she can call again. They dont reply. She redials. They sedate her and shes out for half the day. The staff claimed that it was because she was "getting violent" but I doubt that was the case. They wouldn't even keep the phone working so we could contact our families. They didn't care about us AT ALL. Group therapy in this hospital was awful, they treated us like animals, worse than prisoners, and they gave us no rights whatsoever. They didn't tell us anything, not even what medication we were taking. I've never seen anything more wrong in my life. But I didn't file a complaint. I didn't do anything. Because I knew that they wouldn't listen to a depressed 14 year old vs "professional" social workers or "trained" nurses/doctors. Speaking of doctors, the doctor(s) I had at that hospital were the worst I've ever seen. Physical doctor: gives me an extreme laxative and calls me a bad person for not being Christian. Psychiatric doctor: claims that I tried to **** myself several times in my file, and then says nothing, and puts me on medication. I also heard that another doctor who worked at this hospital lost their license. I wonder why. Anyways, if you live around Southern California, please do not send yourself or a family member to this hospital. It severely traumatized me, and I would hate to have another person be traumatized too.
Im sorry this got a big long. Anyways, that's basically my story. Around 6 months after I was released, I got diagnosed with PTSD. Luckily, I found a nice clinic with wonderful staff afterwards and am currently in therapy. Things are tough, but I think they will get better. Im also on Zoloft and Abilify i believe. I feel like it does help a little bit, but not enough. I thank you for listening to my long story, and if you have any idea what could help me or any advice, please let me know. Thank you.
Posted 04 May 2012 - 06:29 AM
I am sorry that you had such a traumatic experience, especially at such a young age. You must have been terrified. I am glad that you have a good clinic now. If you keep working with them, they will get you back on track. There is something called EMDR Therapy (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). It is apparently very helpful in treating PTSD.
Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.
Posted 04 May 2012 - 12:04 PM
What a horrible thing for someone so young to go through! I'm glad you're getting the help you need now because you have your whole, wonderful life ahead of you and I would hate to think that something so traumatic and unnecessary would interfere with that. I have PTSD too, for a totally different reason but know how scary it can be. Even in us "old" people :-) Best of luck to you!
Major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, insomnia, chronic pain and neurological damage from legionnaires.
Medications: Mirtazipine, clonazepam, ambien, and various vitamins and supplements.
Posted 04 May 2012 - 06:57 PM
How can I weep, when I don't know if the pain I feel is real?"
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