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[jamiew]

Okay to say the past few weeks have been rough would have been an understatement. It started with starting a sucide attempt but backing out before I was done, and taking myself to the ER where I voluntarily signed into the psychiatric unit (Behavior health they called it). My pdoc has been trying to get me to go for a while now but I guess I was scared and I didn't want to be labled as being crazy. However I have to say that it was not a bad experience at all. The rooms were basic, the rules many (no electronics, anything with strings, no outside food, nothing you can harm yourself with ect..). The first few days they let me sleep only making me get up to attend Goals group, where we set a goal for the day... this is not easy especially after the first few days, but taking it seriously really helps with your recovery. After I was more comfortable and the meds were starting to help, I started going to groups; These weren't what I expected where everyone sits around and talks about their feelings and issues, instead it was grouips like cooking, or creative writing, or movies, things like that so it wasn't so bad and it helped to come up with things to do to take your mind off the depression. You get to choose your 4 meals a day from a menu and the food isn't that bad, plus we had a snack every night. You were given a tote of tolitries in the evening and in the morning, they could not stay in your room you had to return them when done. Room checks were the worst if they didn't do them before bed time, and you have just fallen asleep and they throw on the loight and yell room checks and have to check every inch of your room for anything not allowed. The first time I stayed 4 days, and came home but began having hallucinations so less than a week later I was back. The staff was very nice and friendly we played board games together and they liked to talk, many were pretty relaxed and made us laugh. I met with a social worker and my pdoc everyday which was nice so we could adjust the meds as we go. The 2nd time I went, I wanted to go home right away mainly because I was missing work. I got into an argument with my pdoc and she threatened to put me on a 72 hour emergency hold, so I backed down. Later I apologized to her, and she explained why she didn't want me to go home early and end up in the ER two days later again. I am fortunate to have a pdoc who I can trust really cares and knows the best thing for me, even if I always don't want to admit it.

But my point is that if you ever feel out of control or that you are at your breaking point checking into the behavior health ward is not a bad experience at all. At least not in my personal experience. It was like a vacation from all the stress in my life, which yes was still there when I got out, but I learned coping skills to deal with it and to try and keep my depressuin from getting as bad as it was.

[Meirionne]

Jamiew,

Thank you so much for posting this. I have often wondered about what a stay in a psychiatric unit would involve. I did hope that things have moved on since 'One flew over the cuckoo's nest'

I found reading about your experiences very helpful and very reassuring. I like the way you went into so much detail about the daily routine and it is good to hear that the staff were so friendly and sound as if they were good at their job.

I hope that you are feeling better and good luck with your recovery.
Meirionne

[RitaBrownEyes]

I admitted myself before too. It was honestly like a vacation. It was great and I felt almost instantly better after the first day because my main problem was that I had to fake my emotions all the time but you didn't have to do that here.

[krispy30]

Jamiew,
Thank you so much for posting about this. I had needed to go to the psych ward myself but was TERRIFIED of going because I didn't know what to expect. I had had some suicidal ideations but knew I would never act upon my thoughts. That was before Wellbutrin. I was on it for 11 days and it made everything worse and I had never before felt such feelings of dread and pain. I had formulated a plan-which wasn't really a good one-and my brain was going crazy. It scared me to death that I was suicidal but it scared me even more to think I would have to go visit the local psych ward. This was all due to the fact that I didn't know what to expect. I imagined people walking around like zombies and since I knew I wasn't one of "those" people, I waited and waited and waited until it got so bad my boyfriend didn't want to leave me alone and insisted we go.

Like it wasn't hard enough for me to actually GO, they turned me away and told me to go home because there weren't any doctors on staff (this was at the free mental clinic as I don't have insurance) and only MY own pdoc could do med changes. I also learned that you have to appear REALLY bad or they won't let you in. The problem for me was that I said I was having suicidal thoughts. Had I said I wanted to **** myself or someone else,they would have let me in. I DID want to hurt myself but didn't realize the hoops I had to jump through to get help. They basically told me to leave and gave me a number for a suicide hotline number. I was appalled. They sent home someone who wanted to end their life, all because I didn't come right out and say "yes, I want to **** myself." Luckily for me, my boyfriend was with me and I was on suicide watch-at home.

Thankfully when I stopped the Wellbutrin, I wasn't suicidal anymore. Not that I didn't have the thoughts, but I knew I wouldn't act upon them. They told me how I would have to get a written letter from my own pdoc stating that it would be okay for them to treat me. I could have been dead by the time this happened. Now, this was at the county hospital so I am sure a regular hospital would be different. It took everything within me to GO and then to be told to go home was a definite blow. At that point, I would have welcomed a stay in the psych ward.

I am very happy to know that not all hospitals are like this and that you had a good experience-this gives me hope. Thank you!

[jamiew]

Krispy I am so sorry to hear that. Yes I can imagine that public health facilities may be different, and that is what scares me about Chicago right now closing a large number of their mental health facilities will make it even harder for those who need the help most to get it. do you have a religous based hospital in your area, many will take you without insurance and will work with you on payment, and have funds to assist based on income as well. Hopefully you never feel the need again, but if you do I hope that is an option for you.

Rita, I agree and as I go back to cooking and cleaning I kind of miss it!

[RitaBrownEyes]

Krispy I am so sorry to hear that. Yes I can imagine that public health facilities may be different, and that is what scares me about Chicago right now closing a large number of their mental health facilities will make it even harder for those who need the help most to get it. do you have a religous based hospital in your area, many will take you without insurance and will work with you on payment, and have funds to assist based on income as well. Hopefully you never feel the need again, but if you do I hope that is an option for you.

Rita, I agree and as I go back to cooking and cleaning I kind of miss it!

I do miss the hospital a lot. I didn't want to leave but the doctor had to kick me out. It was so fun there and I made so many friends. I even started to help the staff a bit. Haha

[lostcause]

When I was under 18 I spent 19 months on and off in adolescent psych wards, I was admitted after making two attempts at suicide. It helped me so so much. Now that I'm over 18 however things are different, adult mental health services on the NHS are appalling. Just over two weeks ago I made an attempt and was taken to the hospital by police on a section 5(136). After a few hours in A&E I was moved to a 72 hour assesment room in the psych hospital. During the assessment which took place in the early hours of the morning, I was barely able to talk, let alone communicate to them how unstable and unsafe I felt. They discharged me four hours later. I wasn't even physically back to normal, I could barely walk and the hospital is and hour walk from my home. I had no phone, money or house keys. My partner doesn't drive and I didn't even know if she would be home. They kicked me out anyway with advice to make an appointment with my GP...the same GP who tried to take me off my meds when I moved to this area because she, and I quote: "I don't know anything about that medication".

I feel abandoned by mental health services. They've given up on me. So why shouldn't I give up on myself?

[RitaBrownEyes]

When I was under 18 I spent 19 months on and off in adolescent psych wards, I was admitted after making two attempts at suicide. It helped me so so much. Now that I'm over 18 however things are different, adult mental health services on the NHS are appalling. Just over two weeks ago I made an attempt and was taken to the hospital by police on a section 5(136). After a few hours in A&E I was moved to a 72 hour assesment room in the psych hospital. During the assessment which took place in the early hours of the morning, I was barely able to talk, let alone communicate to them how unstable and unsafe I felt. They discharged me four hours later. I wasn't even physically back to normal, I could barely walk and the hospital is and hour walk from my home. I had no phone, money or house keys. My partner doesn't drive and I didn't even know if she would be home. They kicked me out anyway with advice to make an appointment with my GP...the same GP who tried to take me off my meds when I moved to this area because she, and I quote: "I don't know anything about that medication".

I feel abandoned by mental health services. They've given up on me. So why shouldn't I give up on myself?

That's just one of many places. Unfortunately there is a bad to just about everything. When it's not planned and you don't look up and pick a facility yourself you don't really know what could happen. Don't let this experience get you down. It's best that when you start to feel suicidal you look up facilities right away if you know that's what helps you. It's easy to find reviews online.

[lostcause]

That's just one of many places. Unfortunately there is a bad to just about everything. When it's not planned and you don't look up and pick a facility yourself you don't really know what could happen. Don't let this experience get you down. It's best that when you start to feel suicidal you look up facilities right away if you know that's what helps you. It's easy to find reviews online.

Not so much in the UK. There are massive shortages in provision of mental health services anyway, especially in in-patient care. They have to allocate the beds to those in the most need, which of course makes sense, except that the bed shortage creates a cut-off point and leaves a band of people needing care desperately, but not as much as others.
Even the adolescent services, whilst easier to access, are scarse. The hospital I went to, which was the only one available to me at that age was 200 miles from my parents home.

[RitaBrownEyes]

Wow that's really sad :(
Considering that more and more people are becoming aware and seeking help. Unfortunately that's a little out of our control...