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My Mind Is Not Working.


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9 replies to this topic

#1 Logic

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Posted 22 April 2012 - 08:08 AM

Well basically it feels like my mind has completely shut down, i.e. i can't even hold a thought, or a memory or recall.

Now i been told by the therapist it was depression. But i fail to see how me feeling depressed can completely shut down my mind.

I personally believe it was down to intense anxiety regarding my mind not working and that in turn caused it. But the first time it happened was due to me putting my mind under intense stress.

But i have been left so confused i'm not even able to make sense of all this.

If i ask myself what is on my mind, the answer is not applicable because it's just not working.

So i'm asking you guys when you are depressed anyone else experience such intense and devastating mental symptoms?

You must have some mental function right? So most likely it is caused by severe anxiety.

This has been on going for 5 years now and it has effected me severely as you can imagine. I don't even know my identity anymore.

I don't even feel depressed, sad or low. Don't have any depressive thoughts at all.

99% of thoughts that intrusively come into my mind are ridiculous anxious ones and i can't even deal with them effectively because of the way my mind is.

And i know there were several intense period of anxiety before this happened but i can't see it in my head because of the way my mind is.

sometimes i wish i could feel so depressed about this but anxiety won't let me because it says that if i feel depressed my symptoms will get worse and then my mental symptoms will get worser.

I hate my mind not working at all. Honestly it is destroying me. :verysad3:

Edited by Logic, 22 April 2012 - 08:33 AM.


#2 AquaViolet

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Posted 22 April 2012 - 08:25 AM

Hi Logic.
I really encourage you to see a doctor about your anxiety, as it is very treatable with the right meds.
You shouldn't have to feel so miserable.
I think a lot of us here at DF can relate, so you are not alone.
Please see your doc.
~~AquaViolet~~
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My Diagnoses: Severe OCD, panic disorder, depression
My Current meds: Geodon, Cymbalta, Klonopin, Lyrica 

My Previous meds:
Prozac, Paxil, Celexa,
Lexapro, Luvox, Zoloft, Clomipramine (a horrible med for me),
Xanax, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Risperdal,
Gabapentin (this med did nothing), Buspar (also did nothing)

#3 Free2BMe

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Posted 22 April 2012 - 10:21 AM

Hi Logic.

I think your mind is working because you wrote a very informative post with that mind! Perhaps it's not working the way you're used to it working, which I understand.

I have definitely experienced "brain fog"---> just what I call it (not a medical term, I don't think...lol)

Here's an excerpt I will share with you from one of my journal entries:

..."Was agitated & short tempered. Also, trying to articulate the thoughts in my head is getting harder than it used to be. I cannot think straight and state an idea clearly without much hesitation and concentration (which I am woefully lacking right now)…."

Depression can manifest itself in many different ways in people. So you see, it's not necessarily that you feel low or sad. It can be that your ability to concentrate or hold a logical thought process is affected by the disorder. But whether it's depression or anxiety causing this, more importantly, is your therapist giving you any assistance for relief?

Edited by Free2BMe, 22 April 2012 - 10:22 AM.

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." ~ Samuel Beckett

#4 Tomatheus

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Posted 22 April 2012 - 11:05 AM

Logic,

I can relate to what you wrote about feeling as if your mind has shut down. The slowing of thought that I used to experience before the onset of my psychotic symptoms (and that I still do experience to a lesser extent now) is something that I found to be unbearable, and I'm sorry that you may be experiencing something that's similar if not the same.

As far as whether what you've been experiencing is a manifestation of anxiety, depression, both, or something else, I don't really know. In myself, I tend to see the slowing of thought as a depressive symptom, most likely psychomotor retardation, but there might be other ways to describe it. I was diagnosed with recurrent major depressive disorder before my psychotic symptoms emerged, with my main symptoms being lack of energy, psychomotor retardation, hypersomnia, difficulty concentrating, and anhedonia. Excessive sadness and negative thinking were not a part of my clinical presentation, and I don't think that they necessarily have to be present for a diagnosis of major depressive disorder to be made.

I'm not saying that you necessarily have a form of clinical depression -- I'm not a professional and can't diagnose you -- but I am saying that depressive disorders can come in different forms and that a depressive disorder doesn't always have to consist of sadness and/or negative thoughts (even though it oftentimes does). I would look to your therapist and/or your doctor (if you have one) to determine whether the symptoms you're experiencing are part of an anxiety disorder, a depressive disorder, both a depressive disorder and an anxiety disorder, or something else. And most importantly, I hope that you find a treatment or combination of treatments that works for you.

I wish you luck in getting your mind to work more like it used to.

Tomatheus

Conditions: schizoaffective disorder & probable idiopathic hypersomnia

 

Blog: tomatheus.blogspot.com


#5 Logic

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 05:07 AM

I have experienced brain fog before. To me it feels completely different. my mind becomes sluggish, and takes longer to work, recall, memorise etc. but it still is possible. However I cant now. This is in a completely different league. Its the worst thing I have ever experienced. And its been ongoing. I was doing quite well until the therapist I was seen by through nhs, what he told me in our weekly sessions and what I was advised to do made me feel 10 times worse and bring on so many more symptoms. I think it was probably,because I was left in a state of fear, anxiety and the things I was told woukd trigger a emotional reaction and make me feel worse. Im going to start another thread with the things he said that made me feel worse. Hopefully that will be a start for me to heal.



#6 Jessesmom

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 08:26 AM

We can certainly train our mind to cover lots of stuff up. It's our bodys way of handling things. I have no idea I am doing this as I have coped this way for such a long time. I get back on my meds and the fog clears up and I know just how crappy I was doing.

#7 Logic

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 08:54 AM

i just don't get it how i can't even have a depressive thought in my mind and feel depressed about it. I can't feel down or low even though i would like to as i know it can do me good as i won't care about anything and that takes my mind of things,

Can clinical depression really cause this? Or is it due to anxiety. I've been on such a roller coaster i'm actually so lost as to why this is still happening and even if i have a clear answer my mind does not let me believe anything in the state it is in at the moment.

I was constantly told not to use my mind and not to think and just to get on with daily activity. Constantly been told my mind doesn't work when depressed, and that i can't use my mind to heal it because it is not well.

However that has had a rebound effect. Because my mind was working to some degree but now it is not. The anxiety that was caused by me constantly being told my mind doesn't work has actually manifested in me.

Maybe i misunderstood what was being told to me due to the anxious state of my mind and that in turn has affected my beliefs resulting in me suffering for such a long time.

PS i have tried various therapies, tried 6 different types of AD with no real effect and tried exercise, improving diet, socialising, working, to no real effect.

What am i doing wrong???

Edited by Logic, 25 April 2012 - 08:57 AM.


#8 Every

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 04:53 AM

Hi Logic, overanalyzing, overthinking or overcriticizing yourself can be a sharp way to work yourself into disrepair. Stay strong, try not to focus on the negatives, and remember to look after yourself. I hope this helps.
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We will be again, another time
No matter what all the others say..

Break the silence

#9 Deepster

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:49 PM

Hi Logic, overanalyzing, overthinking or overcriticizing yourself can be a sharp way to work yourself into disrepair. Stay strong, try not to focus on the negatives, and remember to look after yourself. I hope this helps.
Every


I have to agree with Every to a certain extent, Logic, it sounds like you are going thru something called anaylsis paralysis". When we are tired of these type reactions to the stimuli around us, we become almost indifferent. But it's my belief that true depression is indeed nothing more than indifference,. I am no way saying this is totally true for eveyone, but "indiffence" can come in many forms, and it is absolutely one of the major methods that our minds have to deal with depression.

Warmest Regards,
Deepster
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#10 Black Manta

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 03:13 AM

I think this is a defence mechanism. When I get so depressed to the point of suicide my thoughts slow down and I get sleepy.




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