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[modernphilistine]

HI all -

I see my therapist every two weeks. On the times that he suggests trying three weeks we usually come back to the two weeks because three is too much of a stretch and sessions end up being rather unproductive.

I've got a bit of a nasty cycle going though that I really want to break but am having trouble with. Generally, on a good night when I talk about difficult things I leave therapy feeling wither (A) terrible because I've just trudged up a bunch of stuff or (B) extremely happy that I trudged up a bunch of stuff and was able to talk about properly.

Either way - that night and the following days are consumed by thoughts of what ever it was that we talked about. Then I either do something healthy and productive with it, of I feel like hell (depressed, unmotivated, consumed and distracted) for days on end. then I might start to come out of it with the aid of writing/journaling or something. During this point I usually come up with a decent handful of things that I think need to be addressed in therapy and then I think about them obsessively until I just cant think about it anymore.

So the rest of the two weeks go by and when I go back to see him, those things I came up with dont seem like such a big deal anymore so I dont/cant bring them up. As soon as I leave I'll feel extremely regretful and depressed again and so starts the cycle.

It wouldn't be a big deal if it had only happened once...but its been happening at least once every three visits for nearly two years. I've mentioned it to him and he suggested making a list and bringing it with me, but I still look at that list and think "ehh...these are things I'm probably just over reacting about, no need to waste time."

Does anyone else do this to themselves? Is there a good way to break the cycle? How did you do it?

I see him again tomorrow night and I really don't want to ignore things any more.

[HRiddle]

I feel exactly the same sometimes! My worst days are always nowhere close to my scheduled therapy sessions, so by the time I get to see my therapist I seem to have gotten "better" and forgot a lot of things, but I usually regret and feel extremely depressed again after the therapy session. I hate it a lot, but writing lists and taking notes actually help, so don't be afraid to try. I'm sure your therapist won't judge you or think you are overreacting. You do feel that way half of the time, right? So it is real, even though you don't feel that way all the time. It is important that you let your therapist know your overall situation, not just how you feel on the day you go see him (the therapy session would probably lift your mood that day anyway). Write down how you feel when you feel really bad, and bring the notes/list to your next session. The good thing about the list is that it's concise, more objective, and gives you some freedom to explain on the spot. Personally I find it a lot less awkward than reading journal entries to my therapist. That said, every two or three weeks does seem like a long stretch of time, and may not be the most ideal, but I understand how hard it can be in reality. I'm doing every week now but soon I have to go off therapy completely, cold-turkey, because my insurance runs out and I can't afford it anymore. I wish every country could have better mental health care policies...

Hope your session goes well tomorrow!

Edited by HRiddle, 16 April 2012 - 01:50 PM.

[ClarissaD]

I've only had 2 sessions but I found this happened between my first and second...I'd like to figure out how to make the sessions a bit more productive rather than basing it on my mood for the day.

[HRiddle]

I've only had 2 sessions but I found this happened between my first and second...I'd like to figure out how to make the sessions a bit more productive rather than basing it on my mood for the day.

Hi ClarissaD,

Are you a fan of Virginia Woolf or Mrs. Dalloway? :) I also love reading and I've read some of Woolf's non-fictional writings and love them, but I always have a hard time getting through her novels, and have never finished reading Mrs. D. (hope I could do it someday). That said, I read her biography and she has always been an inspiration for me, because I also like writing and suffer from mental illness (but of course neither is comparable to hers!). I really admire her for being so strong and so honest, even more so than for her incredible talents. It makes me realize that even those who are broken can leave something important behind and, in a way become timeless.

Well....okay, this is going off topic, but to answer your question, I think taking notes and keeping a journal are very helpful, as I said before. If you are comfortable sharing your journal with your therapist, you could read him or her some entries. If not, then you could make a list of things you want to discuss before you go to your therapy session. I always go to my sessions prepared, because I can't always afford therapy and I want to take full advantage of it while I have it. I usually review my journal the day before going to my session, so I could remember what has been going on since the last session. I pick out the issues I want to talk about the most and be sure to get those out first. Otherwise I tend to get distracted during session. Hope this helps!

[modernphilistine]

I actually tried to be a bit proactive by photocopying some of my most recent journal entries and giving them to my therapist during my most recent session. Ive doen it before but without consistancy. He then scans them and asks questions and we got things off to a much better start than usual. I can talk about things...I just cant bring things up cause I feel like im making a problem out to be bigger than it is. Ive written things down that I want to address during a session and handed it to him for him to read so that we can address something.
without a lot of forethought too.