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JAMommy

Please Tell Me It Gets Better

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Posted (edited)

yes, go slow jonine. i feel higher doses will help you. give each increase 3/4 weeks. that way you'll know which increase has turned the light switch on. every time you up-dose, you go through the mills again (intense for the first 2/3 weeks) so don't confuse start ups with the med. not working on you!

Edited by Rahul

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Posted

Okay cause today seems like the pits :( depression, heart beating fast, slight burning. Maybe I am over thinking too much. What do you do to keep your mind busy? We got a puppy over the weekend, hoping it would help, but it's a bit challenging.

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Posted (edited)

ha ha, i got a labrador and i hug and play with him him when i am normal. when i am in the pits i shun him and just surf midlessly on the internet for horror stories with psychottropic medicines. strangely (yet sadistically) it keeps me occupied but not feeling any better. being occupied is as good as feeling better but definitely better than staring at the ceiling listlessly.

good you got a pup. but maybe wrong time. but looking at the bright side, i hope its attendance will keep you distracted.

Edited by Rahul

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Posted

The only thing that is tough bout my pup is she wakes me up ever few hours, luckily I fall back to sleep, but sleep seems like my only escape route at the moment. I surf the web oftenly but looking for answers of when will I feel better (I know I will not find a completely realistic answer). I have a black lab too and she is my best friend, one day when I was very sad I just sobbed all over her. Thankfully she let me.

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Posted

Feeling horrible, horrible today. I know you all say it will get better. Just SO hard to believe right now.

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Posted

I'm so sorry you are going through such a rough time JAmommy. It will get better, just takes time. I'm right there with you looking for relief and wanting to be normal again. What is worse for you the depression or the anxiety?

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Posted

I don't know which is worse. I think they both are equally bad. Usually the anxiety is unbearable, but today it is the depression. I think also, because I feel so depressed and don't feel like doing ANYTHING, it scares me and increases my anxiety. I have two young sons to take care of all day every day, and I feel SO bad because I can barely play with them or care for them. Lexapro is really messing with me, but I KNOW I need some sort of medication. But I have been battling severe, severe depression and anxiety this time since October... like so deep that I don't want to go on. I have been doing counseling, tried other meds, etc. and now Lexapro. It HAS to work for me. It just has to. I need some sort of let up with the depression/anxiety

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Posted

I feel your pain, I have 6 children, luckily 3 are older and they help me a lot, but I feel bad for my 3 younger ones because I'm having a hard time wanting to do things with them too. Luckily there is some relief for me in the evening, but it is still very touch and go. Today has been hard bc I am home alone and not very occupied, you'd think I would be with a new puppy and my 5 yr old home, but my brain still works over time. I hope that your meds will soon provide you relief, I would ask your doctor about a little more klonopin, it helps me out so much throughout the day and sounds like you might benefit from some more. It's good that your mom is coming, no one should do this alone.

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Posted

Feeling horrible, horrible today. I know you all say it will get better. Just SO hard to believe right now.

Hi jamommy,

I am totally feeling like you today. I just had my Zoloft increased 4 days ago but started Zoloft on march 22. I hope this is the last increase I have to take bc the morning anxiety and panic is debilitating. I had to call in to work today for that reason and other issues but I just cannot keep doing this. I just wanted to let u know that u r not alone and I am here if u need to talk. I was previously on lexapro but it stopped working at 10 mg and I didn't want to go up anymore for fear of more weight gain.

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Posted

elisaac2629, I started Lexapro a day after you started Zoloft. Zoloft does the same thing to me that Lexapro does... the doctor didn't think I would have as rough a time with Lexapro. Now I'm kind of wishing that I was plowing through the start-up nightmare with Zoloft, as it is much cheaper than Lexapro (we have no insurance). I hear you about debilitating anxiety/panic/depression. I have been experiencing that constantly for 5 months now, trying out different meds, etc. I am losing hope that a med is going to help. I feel awful, awful, awful. Trying to hang in there though because I have two young boys and a wonderful husband.

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Posted

We all 3 started our meds or increase around the same time. I started my increase on celexa mar 19. Do you both experience any burning in any part of your body? I get it in my arms in the morning and it doesn't go away til I get out of my bed. I just would like to know the magic week number I will feel like me again? Im in week 3 right now.

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Posted

No burning in my body, Jonine1975. Sometimes though my heart actually burns/aches, but I think that is the emotional ache of wanting to be out of this. I start a dose increase tomorrow. Very scared about it. I am assuming it might be another 3-6 weeks from that point where I start to feel some relief. Ugh. The past few days have been really, really hard. I think I am just freaking out inside, thinking that I am going to be stuck in this debilitating depression for the rest of my life.

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Posted

Hi JAMommy,

I'm still right there with you. I just went up to 75 mg on Zoloft and experiencing the very heightened anxiety and of course mornings are the worst. My skin feels like its crawling. I don't know if I would rather feel depressed or panicked! Don't think about the dose increase too much but make sure you have your benzo on hand if you need it. If you find that 10 mg Lexapro starts working for you soon, you will be as lucky as I was when I started Lexapro. I was hoping not to have another dose increase and 10 mg ended up being just right. I pray that its the same with you. Let me know if you need to talk. I feel like I'm posting my own posts but never get answers and so I feel ignored but I don't want you to feel that way. That's the way my life is anyways..so used to it.

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Posted

The mornings are the absolute pits aren't they? Today is bad! I thought I was starting to overcome this, but now it feels like I'm in the pit of darkness again. Usually I look forward to the fact that it will get better as the day progresses, but I don't even see that right now this morning.

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Posted

No burning in my body, Jonine1975. Sometimes though my heart actually burns/aches, but I think that is the emotional ache of wanting to be out of this. I start a dose increase tomorrow. Very scared about it. I am assuming it might be another 3-6 weeks from that point where I start to feel some relief. Ugh. The past few days have been really, really hard. I think I am just freaking out inside, thinking that I am going to be stuck in this debilitating depression for the rest of my life.

Another thing I wanted to mention, JAMommy is, to again think positive of your dose increase....just know you are a day closer to feeling better right?

Jess

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Posted

Am I another day closer to feeling better? Will the med really help? I sincerely hope so.

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Posted

Am I another day closer to feeling better? Will the med really help? I sincerely hope so.

How are things today JAMommy? Feeling any relief? I try to hold onto hope that everyday brings me closer to normalcy. When I wake up in the morning I try to say to myself, or to God, I made it one more day, thank you!

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Posted

Hi JAMommy,

I'm still right there with you. I just went up to 75 mg on Zoloft and experiencing the very heightened anxiety and of course mornings are the worst. My skin feels like its crawling. I don't know if I would rather feel depressed or panicked!

I wake up around 6 am take my .5 of klonopin, try soooooo hard to go back to sleep only to feel the skin crawling thing, well, mines more like a burning in my arms. Why do the mornings have to be so bad?

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Posted (edited)

JAMommy do you experience any relief during the day? does the night time klonopin bring you relief or do you get relief even before you take your dose?

Edited by Rahul

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Posted

Rahul, no relief during the day right now. I did have a SMALL moment just now as I was outside doing some yard work. The klonopin keeps me asleep until about 4:00am, at which time I wake and it starts all over again. I was telling my mom that my days are like someone torturing me all day, or like being held at knife-point, someone being after me all day. I am not hallucinating and really thinking someone is after me all day, that was just the best way to describe. Torturing depression and anxiety to the point that everyday tasks seem impossible. I go up to 10mg either tonight or tomorrow. We'll see how it goes. I only have enough klonopin to get me through the nights, and don't think my pdoc will prescribe more until I see her Tuesday.

Every once in a while (maybe 4-5 times out of the last 3 weeks) I have felt a tiny bit of relief (just a few minutes) before I take my next dose at night.

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Posted (edited)

JAMommy you are in a terrrible state (though i have been through it or worse for different reasons -- abrupt benzo withdrawal after long term use: reinstated after 10 days of torture). when you meet your doc. next tuesday you'll be 25 days into the lexapro if i am right. i think you should evaluate the situation with your doc. on tuesday (and your doc. seems to be understanding for he/she got you bump up earlier over phone). pleasse apprise your doc. of all the symptoms you are still experiencing. it is not ipso facto that everyone has to experience start ups all over again on increasing dose (i belong to the exceptions group). you might notice relief by tuesday! it is about time for lexapro.

also, it is clear klonopin is not giving you enough sleep. 0.5 mg klonopin did not give me sleep when i started my lexapro 4 years ago (it did for 2 weeks then it's effect vanished -- ssris are too strong and affect sleep). do tell your doc. that you are not sleeping well. your doc. might consider an adjuvant to restore your sleep (i take one - mirtazapine). deprivation of sleep and anxiety/depression is a vicious circle. i've been through it.

Edited by Rahul

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Posted

I remember going through anxiety when I was pregnant 5 years ago. I was so bad that I could not even carry on a conversation w/o feeling overwhelmed and going through a horrific panic attack. I remember feeling so helpless as my family could be productive while I sat in agony. I would only get a few minutes of sleep at a time. I'd fall asleep only to be woken right back up again. I was lucky my meds worked. Klonopin worked wonders for my anxiety, and I am pretty sure the celexa did to, bc I lived 5 years free of depression and anxiety. It took what seemed forever to get better. (I wish I could remember how long, cause like most of us, I want to feel normal again) I hope your doc will give you more klonopin, you deserve relief.

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Posted

+1 jonine.

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Posted

Hope your ok today JAMommy and shoot I forgot your name, the one that is going through start up anxiety.

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Posted

Hope your ok today JAMommy and shoot I forgot your name, the one that is going through start up anxiety.

Hi jonine,

That is probably me that you are talking about. It still been a little rough on me but I'm hoping to be out of the woods soon. Last night and most of this morning was full of anxiety and antsiness which therefore caused panic and such. But now, its finally evening out and I feel calm. For the moment anyways. How are you feeling lately?

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