I Think People Are Plotting Against Me
Posted 22 March 2012 - 02:45 AM
I went and saw my psychiatrist last Wednesday the 14th. He didn't want to listen to me so he just printed up prescriptions and filled out the appointment form to see him in 6-8 weeks. So I didn't bother to set up a follow up appointment and I threw out the prescription form. My case manager was supposed to show up for this appointment to discuss with the psychiatrist how to proceed with my treatment plan but she was a no show. She just didn't show up and I was just left hanging. So I left a message on her voicemail telling her I saw the doctor and that she was a no show. In the message I told her I discontinued my medication and I didn't want to see that doctor again. I also quit my job. I was on the "back to work" program and told my job specialist to call the place I was working at to tell them I was quitting my job because of my depression and that I might have to go back to the hospital. She became concerned and told someone named Judy who ended up calling me. So I complained to her about my psychiatrist and case manager and said I never wanted to see either one of them ever again. So she set me up an appointment with a different psychiatrist and said she'd have me transfered to another case manager. A new case manager never called me and I saw the different psychiatrist yesterday. The new psychiatrist didn't even let me tell him what was going on. He just tried to set me up with another appointment with my old psychiatrist by filling out one of those appointment cards and he re-printed the prescriptions from my last appointment. At this point, I just crumbled up the appointment form and the prescriptions. I tried to throw it in the trash but there was no trash can so I just handed these crumbled pieces of paper to the psychiatrist and headed for the door. I thanked him for his time and reached for the door knob and then he suddenly said "do you want to talk" and I replied "I'm wasting my time" and just walked out.
Right now I have no I idea what to do. Why doesn't anyone want to help me? I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown here.
Posted 22 March 2012 - 08:12 AM
I read your post and you are showing signs of paranoia which you also recognize. In my opinion it appears your current state of mind may be due to you stopping your medications. You asked why anyone want help you, but I think they are concern and trying to work with you. When you are paranoid you start thinking and seeing things that may not be. Since you are well aware of what is going on I want to encourage you to call your case manager and psychiatrist to set up another appointment. They are there and are trying to help you.
I also want to encourage you to seek more intensive care. Now seems to be a good time so that you can be monitored and restarted on your medications. You can do this to help yourself. We are here to listen but what you need to do is work with your medical team to get stabilized again.
I wish you the best and please work with your team.
In you lies the power to choose, to commit - Stephen Convey
The kind of person you want to become is greatly influence by your inner decisions, and not from outside influence alone. We can even under adverse circumstances, decide what shall become of us ~ Brian C. Stiller
Posted 03 April 2012 - 02:08 AM
Sorry you have been going through so much. I understand that you feel none of your doctors are giving you the kind of time and consideration that you deserve. I think they sometimes forget the personal side. Recovery requires meds, therapy proper social and nutritional/exercise. Please don't crumble up the prescriptions next time. Also tell the psychiatrist that you are having trust issues and need someone to talk to that will be patient with you. Anyway, i am cheering for you.
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
"...there is no beginning or end with mental illness, just one big middle. Sometimes that thought bums me out, but other times it takes the pressure off trying to get cured."
BenLP, friend on the DepressionForum :D
Post and let go...DreamAgain
Posted 03 April 2012 - 06:20 AM
It's been so long since I didn't feel like people were watching me that I don't remember what that feels like. I feel too shy to even write on a public forum exactly what goes through my head...I want to so you know there's someone else who understands, but it's also so very...I don't even know what to call it.
I'm sorry your doctor didn't listen to you properly. I do encourage you to try the meds next time though. Right now I'm bad enough that I'm wanting them again. They do help.
The world is way too loud...
Treated for DID and psychotic depression with: Effexor XR 300 mg, Haldol 5 mg, Wellbutrin XL 300 mg, Buspar 30 mg (10/10/10), Klonopin 1 mg. and 200 mg Lamictal - new pdoc is suggesting schizoaffective disorder, depressive type rather than psychotic depression, we'll see where that goes.
Posted 03 April 2012 - 09:12 AM
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