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[ladysmurf]

How many of you have treatment resistant depression. How in the world do you cope? It’s new to me.

As I’ve posted before my dream is to be a professor. How in the world will I do it? Depression kills my concentration and motivation. How do others do it? I refuse to let this illness get the best of me, because I have been out of school for only 3 weeks and I miss it a lot. I’m a big mess. Any advice on how other students do it? I feel like a failure that I dropped out of school, last night I wanted to die.

[taysmom1016]

My depression seems to be treatment resistant since I have been on more than a dozen ADs and still struggle. I cope because I have to, I have a little boy who needs me. And in spite of everything, I still have hope that one day I will find a treatment that helps or the light switch in my brain that flipped over to majorly depressed flips back soon. I have dealt with depression on and off most of my life, but never this bad. I'm not sure what caused this lated episode, I can only hope it goes away as fast as it came on. In the meantime, I get out of bed, get my son off to school, walk my dog every day, spend weekends with my family, shop, do anything I can to keep my mind occupied. Some days I think I can actually get a glimpse into a brighter future, but then it goes away. I'm hoping some day it will stay. Life's a gift, I know that....I just can't FEEL that at the moment. I'm far past being a student but I did drop out when I was 16. Eventually I went back and got my GED and on later to college for 2 years so don't give up, I was 38 the last time I was a student, it's never too late.

[Acrowley]

I don't know whether or not I have treatment resistant depression, since I've never had any, and won't in the foreseeable future. It's kind of similar, so I have a few coping methods that I'll share. Keep your mind busy. Try to fill free time with books, games, interesting tv, work, etc. I find that I do not feel as sad and miserable when my mind is occupied, so this helps a lot. The other way I cope is to have an activity that you always loved as a kid or when you were happy. For me, this involves reading, reading Harry Potter, Dr. Seuss, all childish books. I do this when I'm really down, because it brings back good memories.
Can I ask, is untreatable depression because of a chemical imbalance, or mental trauma, or as a result of a personality disorder? Because my depression is either a chemical imbalance or a PD, since I've had a fairly good life, other than the usual mocking and feeling different. I hope you find your miracle anti-depressant sometime soon, and that you achieve your professor dream :) I'm hoping to be a therapist myself :) Take care

Edited by Acrowley, 12 March 2012 - 02:19 PM.

[Helium]

According to my pdoc I have treatment resistant depression. He said that I have that because my depression was left untreated since childhood... Right now I´m not doing that well and I hope that tomorrow he could adjust my meds and see if it finally works. I hope you feel better.

[jimbow15]

Hi Ladysmurf,

I personally believe that all illness regardless is treatable and I sincerely believe in the power of the mind over the body.

As the mind/body relationship is deeply intertwined one has a big impact on the other. We know that stress and how we deal with it can cause illness or wellness if we deal with it positively.

I have seen a great deal of healing by people on themselves. They turn to a loving and caring lifestyle , meditation and a deep belief in the power of self healing by tapping into other energy sources.

To me, if you see and feel yourself as resistant to healing, you attract those very elements that keep you unwell, and it is then a self fulfilling cycle. If you are passionate about other people, lovingly, giving and compassionate , this natural state attracts wellness and positive healing energy. I share this idea with parents, children and organisations.

You would be absolutely amazed at the outcomes of both a negative and unfulfilled lifestyle and beliefs and a positive , highly loving and caring lifestyle.

Yes you can cure yourself of even drug resistant illness.

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

Edited by Spiritual_Wanderer, 12 March 2012 - 11:00 PM.

[ladysmurf]

I don't know whether or not I have treatment resistant depression, since I've never had any, and won't in the foreseeable future. It's kind of similar, so I have a few coping methods that I'll share. Keep your mind busy. Try to fill free time with books, games, interesting tv, work, etc. I find that I do not feel as sad and miserable when my mind is occupied, so this helps a lot. The other way I cope is to have an activity that you always loved as a kid or when you were happy. For me, this involves reading, reading Harry Potter, Dr. Seuss, all childish books. I do this when I'm really down, because it brings back good memories.
Can I ask, is untreatable depression because of a chemical imbalance, or mental trauma, or as a result of a personality disorder? Because my depression is either a chemical imbalance or a PD, since I've had a fairly good life, other than the usual mocking and feeling different. I hope you find your miracle anti-depressant sometime soon, and that you achieve your professor dream :) I'm hoping to be a therapist myself :) Take care

I dont have any trauma. It's chemical imbalance for me because I have no reason to be depressed. I had an amazing childhood. I just wish something would work for my depression :(

[Acrowley]

I dont have any trauma. It's chemical imbalance for me because I have no reason to be depressed. I had an amazing childhood. I just wish something would work for my depression :(

I'm sure something will come along. I know that it's so so hard, but you need to keep fighting it. What's the other option, you let it consume and beat you? Even if you hate it, keep active. Treatment for depression will become more effective, and you will find relief at some point, I promise. Just make sure you have a life to go to when you do :) You deserve a medal for surviving so far, just keep trying. I will if you will :)

[miss_blondie]

Totally agree with Jim Bow, wise words! :-) Hang in there Lady smurf, you will find the answers- look within, the answers are very rarely outside ourselves. Medication can help, but I have found a whole range of things have got me through each episode of depression, not just one quick magic fix. In fact, that doesn't exist. Time, patience, trust, self care and love, are the key ingredients. Faith that you will get through this and your dreams will come true... maybe just adapt your lifestyle while you are going through this- maybe there are some changes you need to make to help yourself through?

Love and hugs,

Amanda

[ladysmurf]

According to my pdoc I have treatment resistant depression. He said that I have that because my depression was left untreated since childhood... Right now I´m not doing that well and I hope that tomorrow he could adjust my meds and see if it finally works. I hope you feel better.

What have you tried?

[ladysmurf]

Thanks guys. I just dont feel that I can do it. It's so hard to concentrate and read a book :(

That was the only thing keeping me alive and motivated. That one day I'll be a teacher but I doubt it :(

[Helium]

I don't know whether or not I have treatment resistant depression, since I've never had any, and won't in the foreseeable future. It's kind of similar, so I have a few coping methods that I'll share. Keep your mind busy. Try to fill free time with books, games, interesting tv, work, etc. I find that I do not feel as sad and miserable when my mind is occupied, so this helps a lot. The other way I cope is to have an activity that you always loved as a kid or when you were happy. For me, this involves reading, reading Harry Potter, Dr. Seuss, all childish books. I do this when I'm really down, because it brings back good memories.
Can I ask, is untreatable depression because of a chemical imbalance, or mental trauma, or as a result of a personality disorder? Because my depression is either a chemical imbalance or a PD, since I've had a fairly good life, other than the usual mocking and feeling different. I hope you find your miracle anti-depressant sometime soon, and that you achieve your professor dream :) I'm hoping to be a therapist myself :) Take care

I dont have any trauma. It's chemical imbalance for me because I have no reason to be depressed. I had an amazing childhood. I just wish something would work for my depression :(

Same here, no trauma.

[TryingToFindTheAnswer]

I think that maybe some people are given more challenges in life than others. Some people have it easy and are happy while other people struggle constantly. It's just the way of the world and I hope there's a larger plan to it all.

[betterdays28]

I also have treatment-resistant depression and it is a constant struggle. Right now I am battling the worst depressive episode I've had in my life, I think, and my pdoc started me on Lamictal along with Citalopram which I've been on for years. The Lamictal is *supposed* to help once I get to a "theraputic dose" (have to increase slowly with this med due to the small chance you can get a life-threatening rash). No rash and on week 4 right now, will probably be at my "theraputic dose" in another two weeks but in the meantime, what do you do? I can't even think about the possibility of the "theraputic dose" not working as I have tried nearly everything else there is. This week has been unbearable, I'm missing work for the first time, unable to stop crying, and I, like you, don't have trauma or even anything that's bothering me other than this ****** chemical imbalance that won't allow me to feel good.

I am sure quitting school makes you feel even worse, but try to remember that you CAN go back. Once you are well (and you WILL get well), you can start again and you CAN achieve your dreams. Patience is one of the most difficult parts of this battle, for me at least--waiting, waiting, waiting to feel better. But you will, and you'll be stronger for it, and once you've achieved your goals it will mean even more to you because of all you overcame to be successful. In the meantime, you just have to focus on getting and staying well. Take care of yourself. It WILL get better.

[ladysmurf]

I also have treatment-resistant depression and it is a constant struggle. Right now I am battling the worst depressive episode I've had in my life, I think, and my pdoc started me on Lamictal along with Citalopram which I've been on for years. The Lamictal is *supposed* to help once I get to a "theraputic dose" (have to increase slowly with this med due to the small chance you can get a life-threatening rash). No rash and on week 4 right now, will probably be at my "theraputic dose" in another two weeks but in the meantime, what do you do? I can't even think about the possibility of the "theraputic dose" not working as I have tried nearly everything else there is. This week has been unbearable, I'm missing work for the first time, unable to stop crying, and I, like you, don't have trauma or even anything that's bothering me other than this ****** chemical imbalance that won't allow me to feel good.

I am sure quitting school makes you feel even worse, but try to remember that you CAN go back. Once you are well (and you WILL get well), you can start again and you CAN achieve your dreams. Patience is one of the most difficult parts of this battle, for me at least--waiting, waiting, waiting to feel better. But you will, and you'll be stronger for it, and once you've achieved your goals it will mean even more to you because of all you overcame to be successful. In the meantime, you just have to focus on getting and staying well. Take care of yourself. It WILL get better.

Thank you :)

[zazoo]

I definitely have treatment resistant depression-- over 25 years on antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs, pretty much tried them "all" certainly all the different types or classes, tricyclics, SSRIs, SNRIs, MAOIs, etc. Saw a doctor who went thru my prior med use pretty thoroughly and came up with trying to add ambien (that is the lastest trend--to just add ambien on top of whatever are currently taking that isn't working that well) or to start a "new" MAOI, the Ensam patch

I'm on the Ensam patch, and think it is helping some-- kind of gives some clarity in thinking, some energy-- but still bone tired. The patch is bad for sleeping. If this doesn't work, as hard as it is to believe, ECT, may be all that is left--- I'm not there yet mentally.

[ladysmurf]

I definitely have treatment resistant depression-- over 25 years on antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs, pretty much tried them "all" certainly all the different types or classes, tricyclics, SSRIs, SNRIs, MAOIs, etc. Saw a doctor who went thru my prior med use pretty thoroughly and came up with trying to add ambien (that is the lastest trend--to just add ambien on top of whatever are currently taking that isn't working that well) or to start a "new" MAOI, the Ensam patch

I'm on the Ensam patch, and think it is helping some-- kind of gives some clarity in thinking, some energy-- but still bone tired. The patch is bad for sleeping. If this doesn't work, as hard as it is to believe, ECT, may be all that is left--- I'm not there yet mentally.

i'm glad you are getting some type of relief from the patch.. this is the first i hear of it.

[ladysmurf]

I just can't go on anymore. Is there a point to going on anymore? i want out of this misery. if I die will anyone care?

[AquaViolet]

Ladysmurf, all of us would care. I'm going to post some hotlines for you. If you feel you may harm yourself, please call them.
We do care, and there is help available.

AquaViolet


We are *not* a Suicide Intervention Group. If you are experiencing extreme suicide ideation, you need more assistance than we are qualified to give. Please contact your doctor, your hospital or a local Hotline for immediate assistance. We will be here for you once you are stabilized. Even though we have all, at one time or the other, experienced subtle suicide ideation, constant or continuous threats of suicide hold the potential to adversely effect members.


We care about you so very much...We know you are in pain.
That is why you must call a hotline now.
You need help. You want the torment to end with your recovery, if not important to you, it is important to your loved ones and to us.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please call a hotline.

Depression Forums MUST refer you on.
This forum is NOT able to provide immediate crisis intervention or professional counseling.

You need to speak to a PROFESSIONAL who has the training and resources
to offer IMMEDIATE EMERGENCY care.

Please, don't wait. Don't put it off. You need to pick up the phone and take action now.

AFSP - American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Suicide.com

suicidology.org

metanoia.org/suicide


The deaf hotline - 800-799-4889.

National Hopeline Network 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK -- All calls to the 1-800-273-TALK Lifeline are private and confidential.

Confidentiality of personal information and of personal disclosures during calls is a high priority for the parties involved in operating the Lifeline.

WWW.HOPELINE.COM

WWW.YOUTHLINE.US

1-877-YOUTHLINE

1-877-SUICIDA

1-800-PPD-MOMS

1-877-VET2VET

1-800-442-HOPE

1-800-COPLINE

1-800 55 1800Kids (Help Line [for children under 18)

[Severijn]

Hi ladysmurf, sorry to hear you're in so much pain.

But as someone already mentioned, if belief there is a cure for almost any mental disease. If you place that limitation on yourself (treatment resistant) it will become a self-fulfulling prophecy, if you start to belief it.

Have you ever tried doing (CBT) therapy, serious exercise 3 or 4 times a week, and reading self-help books about depression?

Just because medications can't cure you doesn't mean you are totally treatment resistant. Please explore other options; don't give up hope just yet.

Go to www,amazon,com and search for "depression workbook" "overcome depression" and "overcome anxiety" or "cure anxiety".

You will find many books and perhaps there's a book that will help you greatly.

Maybe you have tried some solutions (that didn't work so far) but there are tens of other treatment options available. Take care.

[Violet31]

((((Ladysmurf))))

I´m dealing with a minor relapse in my remission from depression and I know how hopeless things may seem. It´s the depression talking and it will pass.

I agree with the previous posters and you have got options out there. When I feel like this, I will read something from a self-help book, I watch a movie that gives me inspiration, I write down the good things in my life, or the bad things and how they can be turned around. It helps to go out for ten minutes, just to get more energy and stand in front of the mirror and say affirmations. I know the mirror things sounds pretty silly and I felt like an ***** when I tried it for the first time, but it helps.

Sending light and energy your way.

[ladysmurf]

Hi ladysmurf, sorry to hear you're in so much pain.

But as someone already mentioned, if belief there is a cure for almost any mental disease. If you place that limitation on yourself (treatment resistant) it will become a self-fulfulling prophecy, if you start to belief it.

Have you ever tried doing (CBT) therapy, serious exercise 3 or 4 times a week, and reading self-help books about depression?

Just because medications can't cure you doesn't mean you are totally treatment resistant. Please explore other options; don't give up hope just yet.

Go to www,amazon,com and search for "depression workbook" "overcome depression" and "overcome anxiety" or "cure anxiety".

You will find many books and perhaps there's a book that will help you greatly.

Maybe you have tried some solutions (that didn't work so far) but there are tens of other treatment options available. Take care.

Lately Ive been feeling like therapy is a waste. I dont have the energy to read any books. And I'm almost to the point of not ever wanting to leave my house again

[onmyown]

Hooey on being a loving, kind, caring person who focuses on the positive being the cure. I am all those things and have been all my life. You can ask my old so-called friends that aren't around because they don't need me. They always commented on how great I am, even my husband did and he's planned on divorcing me for a few months without even a heads up---I thought things were fine. Life hasn't treated me the way I treat others, so hooey.

[pyrodruidess]

I am treatment resistant as per the docs because I didnt respond positively to any medication. I did however respond to lifestyle changes(food, exercise, sleep) and therapy (not CBT so to speak, but talk therapy where I discussed my frustrations and what I wanted and a lil push in the right direction), it took a few years and dedication to be where Im at now, which is close to recovered. I learned to stop waiting for my friends or SO to do things with or have expectations of them and found meetup groups of hobbies I loved to do and met up with them for my outlets. That way I enjoy my friends and family for who they are, and dont feel neglected for the things that make me happy cause I sought them elsewhere. I am codependent and had a habit of denying myself my needs because I wanted the people Im around to be happy and not affected by my mood, which did nothing but create my own anger and resentment because I never got the care or attention I wanted from them. I dont know if my story will help you, but I hope it does!