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[nope]

I'm not sure if I'm just sad or have minor depression. I'm 19 years old, and I go to college. Ever since starting college about 2 years ago, I've been feeling worse every day. I am currently unemployed and I have to rely on my parents for money. I am failing college right now because I just don't feel like going to class. I am always bored. I am not motivated to do anything. I used to love drawing and playing video games, but now I just don't feel like doing those things. I feel worthless and I know that if I don't do well in college it's over for me. I know my parents and family think the same as well and they have a right to. I lost all contact with my friends and I spend all day in my room sleeping. I don't have thoughts of suicide though. I don't want to die, but I don't like the way my life is right now.

I think my family kind of knows that I feel this way, but I have never openly admitted that to them. My father told me that it is just stress from school and that it will go away. I have been trying to find ways to deal with the stress, but I can never stick to it. I have always felt angry that I'm like this. I constantly feel anxious that my family doesn't think well of me. They always talk about how lazy I am and how I am failing school. It is really bugging me.

I want to change myself but I don't know where to start. I don't like feeling this way and I want to be happier.

[PoeticProse]

Hi nope,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I'm sure it is both frustrating and overwhelming. Stress affects everyone, but each person manages it differently. For some, excessive stress can lead to a depressive episode. If you no longer have interest in activities that you used to enjoy, that may be a sign of mild depression. In my opinion, the best thing you could do is check out your campus's counseling services. Most schools have great therapists who know how to deal with students who come in for reasons similar to yours. Sometimes the first few sessions are free, but overall they tend to be relatively inexpensive. By starting therapy, you can work on coping skills for current stressors, and you may also gain some insight about your depressive symptoms. It is very therapeutic to open up to someone not directly involved in your life. He/She could then refer you on to someone else if the depression is believed to be the biggest issue.

I wish you the very best of luck, and look forward to hearing more from you!

[LaurynJcat]

Hello nope

Welcome to DF. I'm glad you joined us and hope you benefit from the support here. To me, it sounds serious that you are sleeping all day in your room and you don't even want to play video games and that you are failing classes and have lost contact with friends. I think you should see a doctor or psychiatrist and tell them exactly those things, because you may have depression, and it may be more severe than you think. Counseling is also a good idea. I'm worried about your lack of interest even in things you enjoy. When I got that way (I almost couldn't even be bothered to eat), I was sliding into a major depression.

I don't think your condition is "laziness." If you were partying and out having a good time, I would say it's laziness. Stress and fear can paralyze you in a way others can perceive as "lazy" but that's not accurate.

Make yourself at home here and browse the forums, but please see a professional counselor or doctor as well -- preferably a doctor as it would be good to rule out any physical causes for your malaise.

Keep in touch and take care of yourself.
Lauryn

[Bdh25]

Hey, stress can lead to depression and anxiety. We each have our own breaking point before it gets to be to much for us to handle mentally. Don't down play the situation hoping you'll get better. Please go see a doctor and get the ball rolling on feeling better. You will get things figured out and you will feel better. It's great you noticed this about yourself and you're looking for guidance. Only you know how you feel and if it's affecting you this much then I feel you are heading down the path for depression. Get to a doctor soon, you won't regret it.

[nope]

Thanks for the replies. I just set up an appointment with a psychiatrist. This is my first time going to one and I was wondering what I should expect? I have a hard time talking about my personal problems. Will he ask me about them? It's not that it's because talking about them makes me sad, it's because it's embarrassing to talk about. How often will I have to go and meet him?

[lindahurt]

Thanks for the replies. I just set up an appointment with a psychiatrist. This is my first time going to one and I was wondering what I should expect? I have a hard time talking about my personal problems. Will he ask me about them? It's not that it's because talking about them makes me sad, it's because it's embarrassing to talk about. How often will I have to go and meet him?

I'm glad you are schedule to meet with a psychiatrist. I would suggest writing down some of the things you are facing and use it as a guide as you discuss what is going on with you. The doctor will want to hear about the symptoms you are experiencing so doing a thorough mental health evaluation is important in providing the best treatment for you. It will take more than one appointment to gather all the information needed though you may be given something to address your current state. In addition to providing treatment some psychiatrists see their patients for 30 to 45 minute sessions so you can ask questions about therapy. If he doesn't provide lengthy therapy he can refer you to a therapist like a psychologist or other mental health professional. I have both and find both equally important in stabilizing/maintaining mental and emotional well-being . Wish you the best at your appointment. Keep us abreast on how it goes.

Lindahurt

Edited by lindahurt, 28 February 2012 - 01:13 AM.

[nope]

Well, I went and I messed up. I thought I was seeing a psychiatrist, but I read the card wrong somehow and went to see a psychologist. It wasn't too bad. I was really expecting medication, but I guess this is good too. When I talked to him though it made me feel even more stressed out. I don't like talking face to face with a random person. He asked me questions, but it was so hard and awkward to answer. I felt embarrassed and stupid. He told me depression was very common and everyone gets depressed. I always knew that, but hearing it out in the open made me wonder why I went there. Saying all my problems out loud just made me feel even more worthless and lazy. I could tell he was trying to lighten the mood by making jokes about it, but it wasn't helping. He would giggle at stuff like me not having friends or going to classes. I don't think he's a bad person, but he just wasn't making me feel better. It's kind of my fault too for not saying anything and just smiling every time.

I'm supposed to see him next week. I'm very apprehensive to go see him again. I'm not good at talking to people and I hate talking about my problems. What are follow ups like?

[ArthurP]

First of all, it's great you took that first step. It's the hardest one.

I see a psychologist myself, but by choice. I was looking to avoid meds but honestly if he feels you need them, he'll probably refer you to the school doctor to get them. I actually have a prescription for prozac that I've never fulfilled. It's never easy when you start. Most people don't like talking about themselves even though that's the very purpose. I agree with the earlier poster. Write down how you feel that way when you go to see him you can just refer to it. It's almost like having a "cheat sheet." Until you become more comfortable with the process it should help.

But stress is my also my depression trigger. I had it triggered this afternoon and it basically ruined the rest of my day and night and now I can't wait to retreat to the oblivion of sleep. I don't want to do read, watch TV or even eat, so I understand. I see my therapist on Thursday.