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[MissCathH007]

My big sis left for her sailing trip this morning. She just got over her second bout with cancer and needs some time to destress. I want her to have a relaxing time but I feel some anxiety already that I won't be able to speak to her until next Monday. She is sailing to St. Vincent's, an island in the Carribean with her H and two of his friends. It's a chain of islands where they filmed Pirates of the Carribean. I have the email address of the captain of the boat but there will probably only be intermittent wifi access for them if at all. They will be on the boat for the whole 10 days.

Anyway, trying to talk to myself and tell myself that I am competent and can handle things without my big sister. I probably depend on her too much, so I need to put on the big girl panties as they say! She has gone on vacay before and it never really worried me. I think it's just the fact that I cannot call her that is making me anxious.

That and I worry that the boat will capsize! ACK....can I possibly be any more alarmist??! My BIL is a former captain of his own fishing boat and so is his friend so I will not worry too much but it's hard. I have my T to call if I really need to talk to someone and my sister's friend said I could call her also. I just need to work on my grounding techniques when I find myself slipping into panic mode.

Any suggestions?

[Cezton]

Hi,

Your concern for your sister is heart warming. You seem to look up to her or value your sibling friendship greatly.

I spend most of my time alone, but people do boost my mood and confidence quite a bit so having my family travel somewhere or having friends not around can be a blow mentally.

You shouldn't worry so much, though :) Find something that interests you, maybe something that always has or something new you want to try, indoors or out. You can definitely keep yourself busy, just know that thoughts are like a cancer. They feed off negative energy and feelings just like they supply us energy when we're at our highest points. If you were to feel anxious for days for example, I think that your thought pattern would go down hill with that and you'd feel worse as a result. I'm sure the boat won't capsize, so don't stress yourself out about that sort of thing. There are boats everywhere every day.

St Vincents is in the Caribbean Sea. From my constant surveillance and my knowledge of the area, there aren't usually large earthquakes, and there are rarely devastating tsunamis near St Vincents. They occur more-so near Haiti, and even then a large quake isn't something that happens every year, let alone every few weeks or months.

No contact is difficult, but chin up. Some days might be difficult, but try to have positive thoughts.

[darcness]

(((MissCath)))

I agree that your concern and closeness with your sister is awesome. Me and my sister are very close as well, and she is moving about 3 hours away from me this summer. I'm certainly going to miss her. I can kind of understand what you're going through, especially if she is as supportive as you describe her. It's like our number one strength is away when our best friend (I'm assuming) is away.

I think the best thing you can do is try to find things to do that occupy your mind. When I was dating my wife and she was living in Canada (I'm from the US), I had to do this pretty often. As long as you can find a hobby or activity that takes up your mind and your thought process, it's a lot harder for it to go automatically to anxiety and loneliness. Also look into things like exercise or even talking a walk. Just getting out and giving yourself some time to yourself is good. Just don't ruminate too much about everything. The more you can keep your mind busy, the more you can keep it away from the "bad thoughts" so to speak.

Also look into reaching out to other people you are close to. Spend this time with a good friend or family member who you want to build a better relationship with. That way you're not only having some one to be your "step in" support, but you're also improving your relationships for the next time your sister is away. The more people around us who we can talk to, the better off we are.

I certainly wish you the best and hope you're feeling better soon. I myself have been to the islands you speak of. Incredibly beautiful place. She will have a wonderful time.