Posted 01 January 2012 - 08:59 PM
I'm also in the same situation as the author, just that I'm a bit older. I think other people who grew up never having to go through our kind of depression were just fortunate to have lives where everything seems to just work for them. I don't believe in luck or any supernatural forces, but I do believe in coincidences. Those things "just happen". They get out of school, find a job or a few, work on their careers, only have a few health problems that are quickly solved since they're nothing serious, they meet the love of their lives, start earning really good money enough to be happy with, and that's it, nothing really worrisome happens to them. It's really just coincidence.
If the world worked in a way where you actually got what you deserved, I guess everyone would have decent jobs, sufficient money, and just live peacefully. They say "You get what you work for", and in that kind of world, it would be true. Unfortunately, our real world, in my own belief, isn't affected by such rules. People will still do bad things to good people. No matter how hard you try, you might never even get closer to your dream job or dream life after trying hard for 3/4s of your duration on earth.
Being a guy who grew up almost having everything, only to lose them in my 20s, it's quite a shock. I was never the spoiled type, even though I used to be rich I treated everybody with respect. Now, nobody respects me because I've become unemployed for a while and I'm constantly reminded of how much I'm a burden to them. Thinking about it used to be painful, as in much painful than physical pain. I used to cry a lot back then because I kept asking myself and god "Why is this happening? I never did anything wrong!". Everything seemed unfair, and I immediately understood how other people felt when everything seemed to go against them. Those two words, "Life's unfair!" suddenly meant something to me.
Years of sadness went by and I realized that I'm really alone in terms of being understood. Sure, there are lots of people around me physically, but how many of them actually still care? I'm just a burden, more like a pet to them anyway. I learned to accept the fact that life just can't be good for everybody. I learned that no matter how hard you wished or prayed for something, either a "miracle" would happen and solve your problems, or you do it yourself. For me, no miracle ever happened so I learned to just not rely on those. I learned to accept that I'm a faulted human, I can't be as "perfect" (actually more like mechanical is the term) and become someone that people demand me to be. I learned to accept myself for who I am.
I guess it's really hard to blame the people who haven't experienced extreme sadness when they misunderstand people who go through it everyday. To them, they don't know what it feels like. To them, it seems like we're just being lazy or we're just making excuses on why we failed to do something. To them, we're people who are all dreams but no action. Somewhere, in their blissful existence they have forgotten how it's like to be alone and as happy and successful they have become, so did their insensitivity to other peoples emotion grew.
We only live once, this is what I believe. After we die, we just disappear (or if there's actually a spiritual world we'll go to where we deserve to be). There's no sure answer, so there's no point wasting this life. We never know if we'll be reborn or go to a happier place after death. Live life no matter how unfavorable it is like it's the only one you have, like you'll never see tomorrow again. Don't let what other people say destroy you. They have no right to destroy you because they do not own you. You are of your own.
Others will say life is about love, some will say it's all about the money. Some people say it's about who you become. Still, don't let the public's opinion dictate to you what your life should be about. What is most important in life is subjective to us all.