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My Life - Constant Bitterness, Regret And Despair! Where Now?


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#1 D Dinneen

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Posted 19 November 2011 - 11:11 PM

*I have been getting a formatting error when pasting text from word (see 2nd post below), causing spaces between certain words to be missed out - I also rather rushed this when posting and only just noticed the misspelling in the title ('regret' - regrettably, I can't correct it now!) please ignore the typos where present!*[size="3"][font="Calibri"]

Hi everyone. I'm looking for advice because I'm finding my life so hard to cope with. I feel that over the past 5 years things have simply gone from bad to worse, &

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#2 D Dinneen

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Posted 19 November 2011 - 11:22 PM

I apologise if the above post was rather rushed and poorly typed!


Edited by D Dinneen, 19 November 2011 - 11:40 PM.


#3 fragile_and_strong

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Posted 20 November 2011 - 03:34 PM

Hey D - read your post and wanted to say hi. It's really great that you've come on here and shared your story - I've not been on this site for long myself, but have found so many friendly, warm and supporting people here.

You don't mention whether you have spoken to anyone about the things going on in your life? If not, could you consider speaking to someone at uni? I'm in the UK too and most of the uni's here have their own confidential counselling support services, which could provide you with some extra help and a chance to talk through what has been happening? I only recently managed to face seeing a therapist myself, so know how difficult it is, but it's really giving me an opportunity to explore the problems in my life - it certainly isn't a magic fix, but it's a start. Alternatively, a NHS doctor would also be able to discuss options with you - contrary to what the Daily Mail says, there are some good ones out there who will be able to offer help.

As for the problems you talk about with the tea - I have never experienced that sort of addiction, so I won't pretent to know what you are going through, but I think there is a special forum on here for those sort of issues?

One thing I do know, for what it is worth (which may not be a lot), it's sometimes really hard to not focus on things that have gone wrong, or things we wished we could have done differently (I have spent years doing exactly that), but you clearly have a lot of amazing things going right in your life. You are at a good university studying chemistry - this is an amazing achievement, and you have got there through a lot of hard work and success. It may have taken you longer to complete your A-Levels, but you did it - and obviously did really well, as chemistry isn't the kind of uni course you can walk onto! In times when you feel helpless, remember those achievements - nobody can ever take those away from you.

#4 TryingToFindTheAnswer

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Posted 20 November 2011 - 08:52 PM

Hello D Dinneen. Welcome aboard :)

First I want to say that there are many many people who experience severe depression so you're not alone in your pain. I think I can relate to you. I have bad social anxiety and don't really have much to talk about with other people. I smoked pan from 16 years old till I was 29 years old. I quit about nine months ago. Smoking pan was an escape for me. Something to look forward to. However, it eventually stopped giving me the desired effects and in fact started making my depression much worse. Drugs will only make your misery worse.

My advice to you would be to accept yourself the way you are. Quit seeing yourself as flawed. You're not flawed anymore than anyone else. You have a weakness with socializing but this is because your strengths are elsewhere. It's a trade off. It's what makes you you. Love yourself for who you are. Quit thinking there's something wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. Embrace your weaknesses and know that your weaknesses allow you to be strong in other ways.

I'm sorry that your friend abandoned you. It sounds like he is the one with the problem. Not everyone is like that. There are truly good people out there. Go out and find them.

#5 AquaViolet

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 10:08 AM

You are not alone in feeling depressed. This is a wonderful community where people will support you.
In my opinion, you need to go to treatment to get rid of your addiction. I'm not a doctor, but maybe an antidepressant medication could really help you. Talk with your doctor.
There IS light at the end of the tunnel. There is treatment available that can help you.
Take care.

~~AquaViolet~~
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My Diagnoses: Severe OCD, panic disorder, depression
My Current meds: Geodon, Cymbalta, Klonopin, Lyrica

My Previous meds: Prozac, Paxil, Celexa,
Lexapro, Luvox, Zoloft, Clomipramine (a horrible med for me),
Xanax, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Risperdal,
Gabapentin (this med did nothing), Buspar (also did nothing)

 

 

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