Depressed After Another Tragedy
Posted 17 November 2011 - 01:39 PM
First, I have battled depression off an on since I was in high-school (the 90's) I didn't realize what it was and I drank a lot at the time.
But in 2007 after my grandfather died, my dad died, my marriage ended and I lost my business I was really depressed. I slept for almost 6 months it seemed and battled back on my own by long walks with my dog and the time I spent with my daughter. It actually helped when I left my studio apt and moved in with my mom, I think it was human interaction. I went back to school and with the help of Fluxotine I felt normal again. Not thriving but living.
Then in 2009 I met my boyfriend. He is the most amazing man. I have never loved or been loved so much (except my daughter of-course) but this summer he was badly burned in a fire. He is over 95% burned and facing a hospital stay of a year if he makes it,
I have good days and I have days I just make it though. I am staying an hour from home to be by him. I am alone here except weekends when I go home to see my daughter. His family is no help. They flit in, they flit out. His mother is one of the worst people I have ever met and the rest of his family is so selfish there is wars about money and old grudges etc. I essentially sit next to his bedside to comfort him when he wakes up and I sit and watch TV.
I was handling it, but now everyday I only want to sleep and cry. I am so tired and depressed. I force myself to go to the hospital, count the hours to until I can go back to sleep. I have no medical insurance and because I am on leave work I have no money.
My best friend has pretty much disappeared while she plans her wedding and my other friends say they are here, but I never take them up on it because seriously they don't get it, and they are so in their own lives and problems I find myself getting annoyed at them. It's easier to be alone but I am sinking.
I really hope these forums can help me.
Posted 17 November 2011 - 06:40 PM
I think it's wonderful that you continue to go to the hospital and sit with your husband. Please make sure to take care of your own health too. You sound like a wonderful person. I hope you can find many friends and support here on the forums.
"I will not say do not weep, for not all tears are an evil."
"My friends are my power! And I'm theirs!"
Posted 17 November 2011 - 06:49 PM
I so sorry to hear about the tragedies in your life. I wish the healing for you and your boyfriend, as both of you have had some trying times. Its unfortunate you have the support needed from framily and friends. It can be quite difficult and overwhelming to go through this on your own.
We are glad you have joined and made DF a part of your support system. Just being able to get things out can be therapuetic, so feel free to post and share your feeling as often as you chose. Make yourself comfortable.
Edited by lindahurt, 17 November 2011 - 06:50 PM.
In you lies the power to choose, to commit - Stephen Convey
The kind of person you want to become is greatly influence by your inner decisions, and not from outside influence alone. We can even under adverse circumstances, decide what shall become of us ~ Brian C. Stiller
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