Whatever I have it has very thoroughly crippled my ability to make any progression in my life. I went from being an A student in eighth grade to an F student in eleventh simply because I did not have the energy any more to try. I haven't been able to hold a job because the stress of work was too much for me to handle and I would always get fired or quit. The result of which was that I had to quit college because I lost my vehicle due to not having the money to keep it street legal.
Honestly I still think there may still be a way out of all of this, but for the most part, my life is ruined and fixing it is going to be almost completely impossible. I'm too old to develop social skills since people are creeped out by thirty year old men who act like ten year olds. I'm too old to start dating for the same reason. And I haven't had a job in such a long time that no business will hire me without some really good explanations for all the unemployment I've had in the past decade.
You're lucky in that you are still so young. I know that sounds like garbage but it's true. And you shouldn't be ashamed about being depressed. That's not something you chose. The best you can do is try to find help for it. And at your age people are more willing to listen because that time is stressful for a lot of people in their lives.
I can't determine that much from a forum post, but from your apparant literary skills I can determine you're /basically/ a fairly competent person. This doesn't mean much coming from a naive 18 year old, but you /can/ turn this around. Nobody wants to hire you? Start your own company or service. Don't have any technical skills? List the skills you /do/ have and use them. For example, it seems you're more than capable of writing a book. Writing as a profession seems nearly taylored for depressed people. You're not forced to work with others, you don't expend that much energy and it's stimulating in many positive ways.
Either way, as I said, I'm 18. I think you're overestimating 18 year olds as most people my age are incredibly dumb thrill seekers on raging hormones. I know for a fact half my old classmates would simply use my depression as tool to either bully or tear on my credibility. Which is kinda sad because I'm usually able to fit in perfectly for a few days or so before I almost collapse from exhaustion, which is why I chose to lie about a disease so I can do everything school-related from home except tests. Now if I say I'm depressed, all my priviledges will disappear as the school system isn't very considerate of depression. They'll basically say "get therapy, anti depressants or whatever and come back to school".
I'm not really ashamed of the depression itself, as it's a perfectly natural physiological condition. But sadly, common sense isn't that common, so people who aren't in this condition tend to either trivialise the condition, or if they're my age, judge me.
What really saddens me though is to know I'm wasting what others say should be the best years of my life on doing nothing, and I have no idea of how I'm supposed to get out of this situation. Everything I do now basically influences my future.
Edited by TryHarder, 01 October 2011 - 11:07 AM.