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TryHarder

Do You Consider Your Life Ruined From Depression?

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There's plenty of ways for depression to ruin a persons life. It can deplete on the persons cognitive fuctioning, making socialising hard. It can ruin your job, your education and even directly cause suicide. This question might seem redundant as few depressive episodes are 'mild' and easy to shrug off by the individual, but I'd still like to hear your stories.

Personally, without a doubt. My real depression started with the onset of my BDD, but I've later learned I've to some degree been depressed since the age of 10. Something about all my friends being like 4 years + older than me, forcing me to grow up too fast and realizing it which only made me regress and fall back on memories from earlier childhood. Now I'm 18, unable to function in school and ashamed of being depressed and having BDD as people confuse it with vanity, which is why I haven't told anyone.

Edited by TryHarder

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Posted (edited)

Whatever I have it has very thoroughly crippled my ability to make any progression in my life. I went from being an A student in eighth grade to an F student in eleventh simply because I did not have the energy any more to try. I haven't been able to hold a job because the stress of work was too much for me to handle and I would always get fired or quit. The result of which was that I had to quit college because I lost my vehicle due to not having the money to keep it street legal.

Honestly I still think there may still be a way out of all of this, but for the most part, my life is ruined and fixing it is going to be almost completely impossible. I'm too old to develop social skills since people are creeped out by thirty year old men who act like ten year olds. I'm too old to start dating for the same reason. And I haven't had a job in such a long time that no business will hire me without some really good explanations for all the unemployment I've had in the past decade.

Edited by Axel Midego
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Posted (edited)

Whatever I have it has very thoroughly crippled my ability to make any progression in my life. I went from being an A student in eighth grade to an F student in eleventh simply because I did not have the energy any more to try. I haven't been able to hold a job because the stress of work was too much for me to handle and I would always get fired or quit. The result of which was that I had to quit college because I lost my vehicle due to not having the money to keep it street legal.

Honestly I still think there may still be a way out of all of this, but for the most part, my life is ruined and fixing it is going to be almost completely impossible. I'm too old to develop social skills since people are creeped out by thirty year old men who act like ten year olds. I'm too old to start dating for the same reason. And I haven't had a job in such a long time that no business will hire me without some really good explanations for all the unemployment I've had in the past decade.

You're lucky in that you are still so young. I know that sounds like garbage but it's true. And you shouldn't be ashamed about being depressed. That's not something you chose. The best you can do is try to find help for it. And at your age people are more willing to listen because that time is stressful for a lot of people in their lives.

I can't determine that much from a forum post, but from your apparant literary skills I can determine you're /basically/ a fairly competent person. This doesn't mean much coming from a naive 18 year old, but you /can/ turn this around. Nobody wants to hire you? Start your own company or service. Don't have any technical skills? List the skills you /do/ have and use them. For example, it seems you're more than capable of writing a book. Writing as a profession seems nearly taylored for depressed people. You're not forced to work with others, you don't expend that much energy and it's stimulating in many positive ways.

Either way, as I said, I'm 18. I think you're overestimating 18 year olds as most people my age are incredibly dumb thrill seekers on raging hormones. I know for a fact half my old classmates would simply use my depression as tool to either bully or tear on my credibility. Which is kinda sad because I'm usually able to fit in perfectly for a few days or so before I almost collapse from exhaustion, which is why I chose to lie about a disease so I can do everything school-related from home except tests. Now if I say I'm depressed, all my priviledges will disappear as the school system isn't very considerate of depression. They'll basically say "get therapy, anti depressants or whatever and come back to school".

I'm not really ashamed of the depression itself, as it's a perfectly natural physiological condition. But sadly, common sense isn't that common, so people who aren't in this condition tend to either trivialise the condition, or if they're my age, judge me.

What really saddens me though is to know I'm wasting what others say should be the best years of my life on doing nothing, and I have no idea of how I'm supposed to get out of this situation. Everything I do now basically influences my future.

Edited by TryHarder

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I can't determine that much from a forum post, but from your apparant literary skills I can determine you're /basically/ a fairly competent person. This doesn't mean much coming from a naive 18 year old, but you /can/ turn this around. Nobody wants to hire you? Start your own company or service. Don't have any technical skills? List the skills you /do/ have and use them. For example, it seems you're more than capable of writing a book. Writing as a profession seems nearly taylored for depressed people. You're not forced to work with others, you don't expend that much energy and it's stimulating in many positive ways.

I actually wouldn't mind writing for a living. But every attempt I've made falls flat. As for starting my own business, it's not in my ability. I don't like playing the game of seeing who is overcharging who for what and who is offering a good deal. Too much potential for being screwed over. And with my complete lack of skills interacting with other people, I would most certainly end up being cheated somehow.

Either way, as I said, I'm 18. I think you're overestimating 18 year olds as most people my age are incredibly dumb thrill seekers on raging hormones. I know for a fact half my old classmates would simply use my depression as tool to either bully or tear on my credibility. Which is kinda sad because I'm usually able to fit in perfectly for a few days or so before I almost collapse from exhaustion, which is why I chose to lie about a disease so I can do everything school-related from home except tests. Now if I say I'm depressed, all my priviledges will disappear as the school system isn't very considerate of depression. They'll basically say "get therapy, anti depressants or whatever and come back to school".

Yeah. That's why I deleted that part of my post. I can't give advice on how to deal with other people that age when I was failing so miserably at that point..

I'm not really ashamed of the depression itself, as it's a perfectly natural physiological condition. But sadly, common sense isn't that common, so people who aren't in this condition tend to either trivialise the condition, or if they're my age, judge me.

Unfortunate fact of life. Most people can't get out of thinking the world is the same for everybody. They can't understand that the feeling they get when they wake up in the morning is not default for everybody.

What really saddens me though is to know I'm wasting what others say should be the best years of my life on doing nothing, and I have no idea of how I'm supposed to get out of this situation. Everything I do now basically influences my future.

I wish I know how to help you with that. I'm on the other end of that problem. I can't change my future at this point without extreme difficulty. You should probably look at your situation like this: You are at the best point to make some changes. You're still in school, you can still figure out what you want to do in life, and you still have some years to find your answer.

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Posted

There's plenty of ways for depression to ruin a persons life. It can deplete on the persons cognitive fuctioning, making socialising hard. It can ruin your job, your education and even directly cause suicide. This question might seem redundant as few depressive episodes are 'mild' and easy to shrug off by the individual, but I'd still like to hear your stories.

The way it ruined me:

- no girlfriends

- total social isolation

- no job

- big debt (about 2 years worth of average pay)

Cheers.

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I have been depressed for over 30 years. I have not let it ruin me but it has come close. I sometimes push people away that are only there to help me. I have had somewhat normal friendships and relationships but it is a struggle. The man I am with now is really trying to understand it, he joined here first and asked me to join. Sometimes I have to stop and think, "what are these actions going to cause"?

Peanut

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Posted (edited)

What really saddens me though is to know I'm wasting what others say should be the best years of my life on doing nothing, and I have no idea of how I'm supposed to get out of this situation. Everything I do now basically influences my future.

When I think about it, that's what I feel I've missed out on. But I really don't worry about it, there's nothing I can do about the past. There's no point in me thinking about what parties I've missed out on and what I could have done, because it's too late to do anything about it. The only think I can hope for and work on is making college a better time than high school was and not let my depression get to me. If I fail at that, then I'm definitely going to feel like something's been taken from me.

Edited by Brah

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Posted (edited)

The way it ruined me:

- no girlfriends

- total social isolation

- no job

- big debt (about 2 years worth of average pay)

Cheers.

Fixing your social perspective and getting a job should fix the other 2 issues too, which again demands you to get rid of or learn to deal with your depression. It always comes down to the depression, sadly. :sad:

What really saddens me though is to know I'm wasting what others say should be the best years of my life on doing nothing, and I have no idea of how I'm supposed to get out of this situation. Everything I do now basically influences my future.

When I think about it, that's what I feel I've missed out on. But I really don't worry about it, there's nothing I can do about the past. There's no point in me thinking about what parties I've missed out on and what I could have done, because it's too late to do anything about it. The only think I can hope for and work on is making college a better time than high school was and not let my depression get to me. If I fail at that, then I'm definitely going to feel like something's been taken from me.

It's great that you're being optimistic, I'd love to have your 'live in the moment' attitude. I'm too stuck up on childhood memories and how ideal those times seemed that I can't stop obsessing about them. I've learned the only difference from those times and now are the people in my life and how I carelessly I percieved the world around me. I'm kinda in a constant nostalgia trip if you know what I mean, which I think is a sideeffect of the depression since it's slightly worse whenever my depression spikes. :nod:

Edited by TryHarder

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Good post, keep it going. I have come close to giving up but keep finding glimmers of hope.

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Yes depression and bipolar disorder has ruined my life or at least wrecked it for a while.

I dropped out of college after being an A student. I changed majors so much because I was never happy and the school finally cut me off. Now I can barely hold it together at a dead end retail job. Plus I can not make friends or connect with people.

I am tired, socially isolated, broke and directionless. The only thing I have going for me is supportive parents who basically are taking care of me financially which is pathetic to say the least.

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Yes depression and bipolar disorder has ruined my life or at least wrecked it for a while.

I am tired, socially isolated, broke and directionless. The only thing I have going for me is supportive parents who basically are taking care of me financially which is pathetic to say the least.

I can relate to this part of the story . Thanks for sharing. I thought I was the only one.

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Yes depression and bipolar disorder has ruined my life or at least wrecked it for a while.

I am tired, socially isolated, broke and directionless. The only thing I have going for me is supportive parents who basically are taking care of me financially which is pathetic to say the least.

I can relate to this part of the story . Thanks for sharing. I thought I was the only one.

Depression has ruined my life.

I let it get the better of me due to my thinking.

I feel I have ruined:

my career,

Caused unnecessary pain to my family

Debt ( I ran away from my last job and I had debt in that country - causes so much anguish and worry

Relationships - I do not have a significant other and the relationship with friends has gone downhill

Weight gain

Lack of motivation

Hopelessness

Self-hatred

I spend all day ruminating and not living in the now

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Whatever I have it has very thoroughly crippled my ability to make any progression in my life. I went from being an A student in eighth grade to an F student in eleventh simply because I did not have the energy any more to try. I haven't been able to hold a job because the stress of work was too much for me to handle and I would always get fired or quit. The result of which was that I had to quit college because I lost my vehicle due to not having the money to keep it street legal.

Honestly I still think there may still be a way out of all of this, but for the most part, my life is ruined and fixing it is going to be almost completely impossible. I'm too old to develop social skills since people are creeped out by thirty year old men who act like ten year olds. I'm too old to start dating for the same reason. And I haven't had a job in such a long time that no business will hire me without some really good explanations for all the unemployment I've had in the past decade.

Give yourself some credit. You are being too hard on yourself.

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I feel the same way you guys feel. But I try to attempt and live my life. I'm going to school and I work part-time 10-15 hours a week. I live with my parents so that helps. Someday I hope I can live on my own.

There are days when I want to give up and die, but I keep fighting because I have dreams.

As far as how it has ruined my life. I don't have many friends, don't have a relationship which stinks, and I don't do much besides school and work because I'm always tired.

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Posted (edited)

Yes depression and bipolar disorder has ruined my life or at least wrecked it for a while.

I dropped out of college after being an A student. I changed majors so much because I was never happy and the school finally cut me off. Now I can barely hold it together at a dead end retail job. Plus I can not make friends or connect with people.

I am tired, socially isolated, broke and directionless. The only thing I have going for me is supportive parents who basically are taking care of me financially which is pathetic to say the least.

If you were an A student, that means you've got a lot of potential which will be useful in the future if you ever wanted to pick up on your studies. The isolation and tiredness is likely directly linked to your depression, which means your only problem if you eventually cope with the depression is being broke, which is pretty normal for most students anyway. :smile:

I feel the same way you guys feel. But I try to attempt and live my life. I'm going to school and I work part-time 10-15 hours a week. I live with my parents so that helps. Someday I hope I can live on my own.

There are days when I want to give up and die, but I keep fighting because I have dreams.

As far as how it has ruined my life. I don't have many friends, don't have a relationship which stinks, and I don't do much besides school and work because I'm always tired.

I don't know what grade you're in, but where I'm from, it's very common to take a year off after.. well, we've got a different educational system, but it's kinda like high-school except you can get a specialized education, which is kinda like college. Well anyway, most people take a year off before they move on to universities and so on. If you feel you're on the brink and that you can't keep going any longer, know that you have options to relieve that exhaustion without having to necessarily blow away your career or education. I'm definately taking a year off to probably work or go to the gym, something to keep my mind off school at the very least.

Edited by TryHarder

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I wouldn't say ruined. I would prefer not to be depressed but there are worse things. I am learning to accept my depression and to do the best I can regardless.

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Hello tryharder. I am 38 and I have been dealing with depression for at least 8 years now. Now, and looking back, and after some therapy, I realize I had more depressive episodes before I was 30 years old. The depression affected my career and my social relationships. I ended in a dead end job and avoided social contact with other people until I had a nervous breakdown last year. Now I am rebuilding my life step by step. Because of the breakdown I had to stop working.

You are 18 and have your life ahead. The first step is to realize that you are depressed (not very easy for some people) and the second step is to seek a proper treatment.

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"Ruined" is probably too strong a word. Looking back at my life (I'm 43), I feel like I've accomplished quite a lot in spite of my mental illness: two degrees, a fair amount of traveling, have one beautiful 4 year old boy, no debt, good friends I've known for 30+ years, fulfilled a number of "bucket list" items.

Still, depression has thrown dirt in the machinery nonetheless: two divorces, chronically underemployed/underpaid (fear of failure has blunted my motivation and risk taking), haven't made a lot of new friends outside of my "childhood" friends, and feel like dysthymia has stolen a good number of what could have otherwise been productive years. I just try to focus on the positive in life and not dwell too much on the negative.

Lately, I try to take each day as it comes and not worry too much about the future. I try to be thankful for what I have, with the understanding that, as bad as things may seem some days, they could certainly be MUCH worse. It helps to keep things in perspective.

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I admire your outlook, LonelyHiker, when you acknowledge success despite obstacles.

I've accomplished quite a lot in spite of my mental illness

For myself, it's easy to say that being depressed ruined my life because "it" caused me to do things that can't be undone, that had consequences that have been ongoing.

I prefer to say that depression has shaped my life, influenced it in ways I would not have chosen, but I choose to accept what I can't change and try to focus on what I can. I'm under a doctor's care, I take medication, I stay connected with friends (with difficulty) and mourn my losses, and work hard to live a meaningful life.

I wish that depression didn't cloud our perception, because I think it allows a person to see ruin where someone else might see raw material waiting to be crafted into something beautiful or special.

So, no, I don't think I, or my life, is ruined. To be ruined is to be unusable, unfixable, unsalvageable, and I don't accept that.

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Yes. Yes I do.

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To a degree, yes. I've lost many years of life I should have enjoyed to depression. I ended up getting a mediocre grade degree from a mediocre university, due to my poor concentration/memory and lack of drive. Cognitively I feel like a husk of my previous self, coupled with barely being able to keep down a job that I hate (although right now I can't imagine liking any job) and not really being able to derive enjoyment from anything. Only thing keeping me going right now is my amazing girlfriend, even then I'm worried she might not put up with me :p

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The way it ruined me:

- no girlfriends

- total social isolation

- no job

- big debt (about 2 years worth of average pay)

I can relate to this. Well, all but the third. I have a fairly decent paying job, but the pay is far too variable. One month I could make $1500, the next $4000. Hard to plan a life with so much uncertainty.

I don't think depression has ruined my life, but it has set me back. I can't say it is due to the depression, or low self-esteem. I don't try hard and fail due to low self-esteem, but is that the cause or the effect of depression?

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and give my 20 year-old self a swift kick in the ***!

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Posted (edited)

The way it ruined me:

- no girlfriends

- total social isolation

- no job

- big debt (about 2 years worth of average pay)

I can relate to this. Well, all but the third. I have a fairly decent paying job, but the pay is far too variable. One month I could make $1500, the next $4000. Hard to plan a life with so much uncertainty.

I don't think depression has ruined my life, but it has set me back. I can't say it is due to the depression, or low self-esteem. I don't try hard and fail due to low self-esteem, but is that the cause or the effect of depression?

Hey, what do you work with?

You could look at when your depression first triggered. Like for example, were you bullied prior to the depression? If so, it could be the self-esteem issue triggering the depression /initially/.

Edited by TryHarder

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Posted (edited)

Right now, it has. I don't have too many friends anymore because they couldn't handle my emotional outbursts or my tendency to isolate myself. :( This refers to both online and offline friends. I wish I could be around people and connect with them again... but I can't. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. Plus there's the fact I'm not very interesting or fun to be around anyways.

Also I couldn't find work in what I wanted to do... because of my lack of self-esteem and not being able to appear to be motivated about things. No one in their right mind would hire me. I'm lucky I was able to find work at my mom's job, though doesn't help with my self-esteem.

Oh, and I feel like I'm letting my dog down every single day because I don't do much with him anymore. Good thing English setters tend to have an independent streak in 'em.

Edited by funchas

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It's really hard for me to say that my whole entire life has been ruined. I'm only 27 and I don't know whats going to happen tomorrow.

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