I'm 24 years old (female) and i've always bottled things up. I didn't have a bad child hood, but I was home educated from the age of 11 which has inadvertedly screwed my life up. I lost all my friends, I lost any condidence I had, and now here I am at 24 with nothing. It's gotten me down for years, but I always kept it inside, never let on to anyone how I was feeling. I didn't have anyone to talk to anyway. I have no social life, no real friends; I spend every day doing the same thing, day in, day out. At the same time, I have no interest in a lot of things people my age do. I wouldn't drink or go clubbing anyway as it doesn't interest me, so people my own age think i'm weird. I've never had any relationships because i've never been in a position to meet anyone new, and that is one thing that is really getting to me now, because i'm so lonely all the time. I'm surrounded by family, but it's not the same. I live at home with my mum who also depends on me in ways I don't think is fair; it feels like she can't do anything for herself, and won't. So I have no life of my own, no privacy, and she treats me like i'm 12. I'm also unemployed and have been for seven months, so I have no money either. I'm desperate to get back into work souly so I can meet new people, but it's not happening.
In short, I am feeling the lowest i've ever felt, and it's so obvious to everyone around me now. They're just not seeing it. I know I need help, but i don't want to admit to anyone there's something wrong with me. And I feel too old. I feel like i've missed out on so much.
Again I don't know if this is the right thing to be writing, in the right place, or whatever. I just need to vent. I know if I sort my life out I will feel better about myself, but I just don't know where to start. I'm so confused.
Edited by leigh1987, 15 August 2011 - 08:37 PM.