Hi to all, Ocean,
thanks for your concern! The first tree days were OK. I managed to come through the days by doing exactly what my timetable «told me to do». Late on Saturday I got stuck in some announcements for «to rent». I should have been able to understand that my wish to rent an apartment had something to do with the job of getting rid of all the clutter here, - just walk away from it.
It can't be that way, of course ... I have forgiven myself for this unrealistic hopes. But it tapped my energy. I was so tired at Sunday that I almost fell asleep at the family dinner. Monday was terrible, but I have not self-blamed for sitting there staring into the wall.
For the three first days I managed to do something really good for me. I sat down and worked for an hour each day with Dr. Yapko's book: «Breaking the patterns of depression». He has some interesting views about «ambiguity». He says that most people have problems with that, but that depressed people more easily get stuck in it. So he has some techniques for «smelling» ambiguity before it comes and to prevent. There are also techniques for identifying them when one are in the middle of such a situation and how to live with that. I will work more with these techniques.Violet
, thanks for being there for me. I have used the Flylady-program before and it was very helpful. For the time being I'm not in the mood to go into it for the fullest, but to work to establish good routines «before bedtime» and good «morning-routines» is something I think I can manage for the time being. So we'll see how much of the program I will be able to use later.
I´m so proud of myself, I cleared the garden shed, cleaned it, looked at every item, gave away or threw away. There are 23 black garbage bags ready to go to the dumping site. I called a builder to look at it and give me an estimate of how much it costs to really make it look good, install heat and electricity. I´m really proud of myself!
Yes, you have good reason to feel proud!
Not let the "what if's" get to me,
Oh yeah, you really have a good one there.
To cut out the «what ifs» is a necessary thing to do to not get overburdened with stressful thoughts.
For Tuesday my aims are:
1.Working with Yakpo's «antidepressant-book».
3.Go to the groceries, so that I have something to eat in the house.
Best wishes to everybody!