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[ewie23]

Hello,

I am looking for advice.


My 15 year old daughter's psychiatrist thought she was bipolar, but is now, after getting to know her better, leaning toward some sort of mood disorder or personality disorder. In doing my own research, so many things overlap, so it is hard to know what is going on, but to me, it seems like she exhibits much of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder: rapid mood swings that can change from one minute to next, violent and very angry thoughts with or without any provocation, depressed, anxious, no sense of self, depersonalization/feeling unreal, self-injury (cutting), suicidal, worthlessness, refusing to go to school or do anything that anyone tells her simply because someone is telling her to do it (even little things).  She also has what I call "episodes" that happen mostly at night, where she completely freaks out, repeatedly says she wishes she were dead, cries, screams, bangs her head on her desk, yells at god for making her this way (we are not religious at all), and rolls around on the floor or her bed. I am always with her when these episodes occur, to keep her from injuring herself, as she seems most at risk during these times, and on occasion has cut herself with a knife. These episodes seem to last about 1/2 hour to an hour, and then she calms down and goes to bed with my help. She also says she has demons in her head, and feels like she is 5 people at once, but does not hear voices, and realizes that what is going on is not normal (no psychosis). This all came to a peak about two months ago, after her general anxiety (unmedicated, but going to therapy) turned to a 2 week stint with depression and all of the symptoms listed above. I can pinpoint the day and time when the switch turned–-that is how acute it became.

Can any parents of children/teens/adult children living with this, or adults who live with this or someone living with this, please offer any advice. What do you wish others would do to help and understand you? For me, it is like living with a two year child who has tantrums, but who is also potentially dangerous, and my daughter is constantly telling me she is alone and that no one understand what she is going through. I am trying to understand and be helpful, but at times, I feel like I am going to lose my mind. Since this became acute two months ago, I have taken off work, put graduate school on hold, and am basically available to help her 24/7, as I am so beyond worried that she is going to **** herself. Also, can anyone offer what has helped you– medication, psycho-therapy, otherwise? My daughter is taking Klonopin for anxiety (.5mg 3x/day) which, in my observation, has made her feel less haunted (her words), but has also made her fear/anxiety turn to anger/rage (the psychiatrist says no, and that this a symptom of her getting worse). She also just started Lamictal yesterday for mood swings (it has been advised that she move up to 100mg over 2 weeks. Is this too fast, or normal?) She will most likely then be put on an anti-depressant, and really, all of this medication is scaring the hell out me (I can't help but think it is going to make her more crazy than she is already feeling).

To add to the picture, she also has scoliosis (which we are addressing) and is in constant physical back pain. Since starting the Klonopin she has also had severe (crying, crunched over for hours) menstrual cramps. All of her extensive blood work came back negative, with the exception of having antibodies to Epstein Barr, which I understand is very common.

Thank you,

Edie

[Tim 52]

Ewie23:

This sounds like a particularly challenging time.  So I can understand why you are looking for advice.  I'm glad your daughter is getting medical supervision.   Even though I know all the different meds can be unsettling.   Especially since it is hard to know exactly how she will respond.  

These things take time.   Though  her responses are severe enough that it probably feels like you don't have alot of time.   Or patience.  

The hardest thing to do, I'm guessing, is to be as non-reactive as possible to your daughters difficult times. But that can be helpful.    The more she learns about how to adapt and manage her emotions the better in the long run.  

Does she have an opportunity to work with a therapist or a counselor?

Tim

[BetterOff]

Hello, actually your doctor is doing all the right things and indeed the step up in lactimal is right on the money (in my opinion as I am not a doctor) but it sounds like he has a handle on her situation.  Lactimal is a good mood-stabilizer, it will narrow the range of her emotions swinging to within normal range of a person.  We all have mood swings but not as sever as what you are talking about, and the anti-depressant is to keep her from being depressed, so she stablizes a bit on the manic side but not near as bad as right now.
And the medicaton for anxiety issues is also right on the money.  I say you have a good doctor and to follow his advice as he sounds like he is pushing all the right buttons.
Sorry you have to deal with this, you want to watch out for yourself too because this could cause *situational* depression with yourself and you may need some help to cope with all this also in case it gets overwhelming for you, just a warning you are at risk also.  I wish you the best of Luck and dont worry as again it sounds like the doctor has his finger on the button to help her properly.  The med regime sounds good to me and while not a professional, I live with a bi-polar other half so I am pretty knowledgeable about meds (plus I myself take anti-depressants).  Best wishes and good luck

[saphirrain]

I hope things get easier for you soon. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and just wanted to offer a quick piece of advice. When I was first diagnosed this book really helped me alot: "Sometimes I Act Crazy...". It was as if I was reading my own autobiography. It would be a very helpful resource for both you and your daughter. It explained BPD in a way that was very easy for me to understand. I think just understanding the disorder helped me the most, but it is also full of advice and tips. There is also an entire chapter, I think it's called "dealing with the Borderline" or something. The chapter is written for loved ones to read and explains BPD and helps loved ones to understand why Borderlines do what they do and gives advice to loved ones on how to talk them down, how to avoid BPD meltdowns, and alot of other tips. It's available in most public libraries. There are also several others that are great such as, "I Love You, Don't Leave Me", and The "Angry Heart", but I think the best one to start with is "Sometimes I Act Crazy..." I hope this helps, and good luck to you.

Take care,

Debbie

[Vanessa]

DBT is the gold treatment for BPD, if that is indeed what is wrong.  It's best to do it long term in a group, but there are also self help workbooks (some even cater to teens) on Amazon.  Meds can help with some symptoms, but DBT has been found to be more effective.  On the other hand, if she is bipolar meds are the first line treatment, augmented with therapy.  It can take a long time to get a correct dx, especially in one so young.  Just keep the lines of communication open and be there for your daughter as she continues to search for answers via treatment.