Jump to content

Advertisement
  • No one should be alone in this. We can help.
If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.                                                                            If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Photo

Lonely And Upset


  • Please log in to reply
21 replies to this topic

#1 Tyler1234

Tyler1234

    Just Registered

  • Just Registered
  • 4 posts

Posted 28 April 2011 - 09:12 AM

At school, I have no real friends. Everyone bullies me, and they call me names. One person told me they hate me because they hate the way I talk and think, and that has made me really depressed. I'm sick and tired of being lonely and sad all the time. It's hard to feel good about yourself when your surrounded by people calling you " ******** " and " stupid " all the time. I know i'm not stupid, because I have advanced classes and I love reading. So besides that point, there has to be something that " society " or people in general don't like. Is it the way I think or talk? Do I say the wrong things at the wrong time? Am I not social enough? I don't know anymore. If you have any ideas on what I should do, Please comment. you don't have to comment, i'm just glad if your reading this and hearing me out. Well, thanks, and bye.

#2 Tim 52

Tim 52

    Platinum Member

  • Platinum Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,110 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:USA

Posted 28 April 2011 - 09:20 AM

Hi Tyler:

Thanks for posting on Df. Welcome. :welcomeani:

I can understand why you are lonely and upset. Bullying is hurtful. To say the least. And it is hard to know how to respond.

It is hard to comment on what exactly you might do. It is hard for me to imagine that you have done anything to deserve such treatment. And so my first response would be to say that there is nothing that you need to change about yourself other than what you choose to develop and work on related to your own interests and what gives you satisfaction and some joy. You are plenty fine the way you are and that the problem is with people who don't know how to respect others.

On the other hand, I wish I had more experience about how to coach you to draw boundaries or stand up for yourself or to avoid such situations....I just don't know enough about these kinds of situations.

I do know enough about human nature to say that are a gifted human being who deserves better treatment.

Tim

goldenvelope1jr.gifInformation supplied on Depression Forums by members should not be relied upon and is not a substitute for medical advice from a health professional or doctor. 


#3 BetterOff

BetterOff

    Platinum Member

  • Platinum Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,232 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 28 April 2011 - 09:21 AM

Hello, I read your post and my advice is to just blow hurtful and inconsiderate people off. They will never be your friends of course but you will find friends, trust me they pop up at the strangest times and places, someone who you just click with. Try going to some clubs and meetings and dont *ever* feel there is something wrong with you. Bully's and mean people are great at getting under peoples skin and you have to develope an immunity to them.
You are young and I hate to break the news but you are *always* going to find yourself around people who are like this, you will graduate and find a job and *no* you will not be friends with everyone, but you *will* find some friends. Hang in there, its called the game of life and as you get older you really will learn to blow these type of people off in return. Surround yourself with good thoughtful kind and loving people and dont try to insinuate yourself into groups of people who are back-stabbers and such, they might try to suck you in but if they are talking trash about someone else, then they will turn on you also. Stay away from those types of people, the very ones who are trashing you are the ones you should avoid making *friends* with.
Its a shame that so many people feel they have to drag others down and form little societies of people and be part of groups that do the same. Avoid that situation and you will do far better in life, both in school and once graduated. Dont waste a moments breath of brain power on these type of people, they are stupid and easy to find early in life like in school but be careful as they can get more insidiouis as they learn how to mask themselves later in life, you need to learn how to be a good judge of character and avoid these people
I hope this helps, been in your shoes and learned this the hard way, I hope I can spare you the pain of making my mistakes by forewarning you against gossipy, thoughtless, hurtful, mean spirited people. They are out there and be it jealousy or just plain mean individuals always beware of having any of them for friends.
Trust me you will find some good kind thoughtful people and make friends, just place yourself into a lot of social situations and go from there...
Information supplied on Depression Forums by members should not be relied upon and is not a substitute for medical advice from a health professional or doctor.

#4 deborahjj

deborahjj

    Just Registered

  • Just Registered
  • 1 posts

Posted 28 April 2011 - 10:14 AM

At school, I have no real friends. Everyone bullies me, and they call me names. One person told me they hate me because they hate the way I talk and think, and that has made me really depressed. I'm sick and tired of being lonely and sad all the time. It's hard to feel good about yourself when your surrounded by people calling you " ******** " and " stupid " all the time. I know i'm not stupid, because I have advanced classes and I love reading. So besides that point, there has to be something that " society " or people in general don't like. Is it the way I think or talk? Do I say the wrong things at the wrong time? Am I not social enough? I don't know anymore. If you have any ideas on what I should do, Please comment. you don't have to comment, i'm just glad if your reading this and hearing me out. Well, thanks, and bye.

Hi! I registered just now so I could post this.

PLEASE just be yourself...It is harder to "be someone else". That is not to say that you cannot work on things about yourself that YOU want to change or improve on. That may sound like I just told you two different things, but it is really not the contradiction that it sounds. What I mean, I guess, is that you can "tweak" the little things that YOU don't like, but you should stay true to yourself. It seems to me that you are a good person. That is what is most important. One quote I like to tell my high school sophomore daughter is "BE WHO YOU ARE". She tells me stuff that happens at school that makes me want to go up to that school and tell them off! That, obviously, would be the worst thing ever. One piece of advice I have, which is easier said than done, is to just treat others the way you want to be treated. (THE GOLDEN RULE). Expect nothing in return. It will not magically change the other person, however, you can feel good about how YOU acted. If you get treated badly, just walk away. Don't let them drag you into trouble. If other people want to make fools of themselves, well, it is on them! They are probably insecure, and because "everyone else" is picking on you, they just jump on the bandwagon. I would be willing to bet that some of those who are not treating you well, or even ignoring you, may themselves feel bad/guilty. I wish I had a magic wand to make it all go away. The thing is, you will deal with difficult people all your life. Just try not to spend too much time focusing on the turkeys who are giving you grief. It is a waste of time. Think about the good things about yourself. Also, look for others who may seem to be lonely. Strike up a conversation with them, and if it clicks, you may have a brand new friend. If not, it is a learning experience.
I just happened upon your post, and it jumped off the page aand pulled on my heartstrings. I feel strongly about the subject of bullying. It has been around for centuries, but that doesn't make it right. School is rougher now than ever...so much pressure. Will you please remember the things I told you?

1. BE YOURSELF/ BE WHO YOU ARE
2. TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED
3. DON'T SPEND TOO MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT THE TURKEYS

I will be thinking about you and praying for the best!

#5 computergeak2011

computergeak2011

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 28 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Scotland

Posted 30 April 2011 - 02:49 AM

At school, I have no real friends. Everyone bullies me, and they call me names. One person told me they hate me because they hate the way I talk and think, and that has made me really depressed. I'm sick and tired of being lonely and sad all the time. It's hard to feel good about yourself when your surrounded by people calling you " ******** " and " stupid " all the time. I know i'm not stupid, because I have advanced classes and I love reading. So besides that point, there has to be something that " society " or people in general don't like. Is it the way I think or talk? Do I say the wrong things at the wrong time? Am I not social enough? I don't know anymore. If you have any ideas on what I should do, Please comment. you don't have to comment, i'm just glad if your reading this and hearing me out. Well, thanks, and bye.



You have the right thing by coming on here and talking about it, i found doing that helped me.

Please do not be ashamed of what you are as a person.

Seek proper Medical help i did it has certainly helped me on the road to recovery if that is what you call it.



Computergeak2011

#6 skin

skin

    Junior Member

  • Awaiting Authorisation
  • PipPip
  • 74 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:UK

Posted 11 May 2011 - 06:06 AM

Hi Tyler1234, just thought I'd add a few words of support. Bullies often pick on people because those people are good at things that they're not. They try and bring you down to their own level.

One of the worst things that you can do is to become part of the bully chain, which I was when I was at school. There was a heirarchy of bullies at my school, and even though I was probably second off the bottom, I would still pick on that kid "lower" than me. What I should have done is stuck up for myself, and for him, but I never had the balls. It's easy, but wrong, to breed the hate.

Eventually you need to stick up for yourself and for those close to you. Bullies will keep on pushing and pushing for more.

#7 averil25

averil25

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 5 posts

Posted 17 May 2011 - 10:15 PM

I understand how you feel. Bullying is painful and frustrating. There are people who are really inconsiderate of others feelings. So just try to ignore them even it causes you painful emotions. Donít try to hold on your feelings on what they say to you. Holding on your negative feelings can cause you depression. Just be who you are and ignore them. I used to have a session with Paul (YM practitioner). He clears the negative issue sin my life that I kept holding on. Paul really helped me correct my various issues and throughout the session, I could feel my body reacting positively to his corrections of every issue that came up. After the session, I walked out having a feeling as if a great weight had been lifted off of my shoulders; I don't think I've ever felt as happy and light-hearted as I did that day after my Yuen treatment. So I donít have a hard way to do some self-infliction just to allay my guilt when I had emotional pain or discomforts.



#8 ConfusedAngel

ConfusedAngel

    Junior Member

  • Junior Member
  • PipPip
  • 88 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 26 May 2011 - 02:17 PM

I just want you to know Tyler1234, that I see you. I struggled to be social from a young age and would often choose to read over socializing with others. I was smart enough to move up a grade but teachers were concerned that I would have even more problems being introduced into a whole new group. Now 2 years out of high school I still don't have many friends but I've found there are ways to meet people more like me. I hang out in the library and in book stores and try to strike up conversations with people I can see I have something in common with right off the bat. I hope you know the world is bigger than your school, even though trust me, I know how hard it is to feel alone all the time. Just remember you are not alone whenever you have a book by your side. And if you learn from what you read someday you will find people who are like you or want to be like you.

#9 Maytrin

Maytrin

    Just Registered

  • Just Registered
  • 4 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:South Africa

Posted 10 June 2011 - 12:59 PM

Hi tyler,


i went through a period of being bullied in school, i was called all kinds of names but mostly i was made out to be clumsy and slow.... i found it hard to catch on to all the little fads and dress codes that are so important with kids to fit in - i was always somewhat an outcast, i was fishing and going camping whilst other kids were all busy with their own little typical worlds of socialising and dating..

a lot of the time i felt extremely left out and clueless.... and i think kids can be cruel and they picked up on my need to be accepted and my differences and i got a lot of teasing and humiliation from this.

eventually i started feeling there was something inherently wrong with me, something about me that was incorrect (why else would these kids treat me this way?)
and so i started forcing change upon myself... i realized that to be with your dad on the weekend fishing instead of going to parties and getting up to mischief was just "uncool" and so i forced myself away from the things that i realy loved and i forced myself to become someone i realy wasnt. as a result i have spent years of never feeling like myself around people and i can tell you it is one of the most horrible feelings you can have... without thinking i say things in conversation that i immediately know is not what im realy thinking. its like im on auto-pilot and i just say what im supposed to say but not what i realy think about the matter.

so my advice to you is to please, never change who you are. ever.... dont try and fit in for the sake of fitting in... like attracts like and you will find some like minded people out there as long you present the real you, you will become surrounded by people like you.

Edited by Maytrin, 10 June 2011 - 01:01 PM.


#10 Helium

Helium

    Community Assistant

  • DF Support
  • 1,311 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 10 June 2011 - 03:05 PM

I know the feeling. I had a horrible year in which everyone hated me, physically abused me, and whatnot. I would suggest going to you counselor and seek some help, at least having someone to hear you out. All I can say is that out of this experience, I developed a think shell and learned to protect myself. I know how hard and painful it isÖ Reach out for someone. Itís important not to keep to yourself all of these and coming here is a great step.
"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"

— Ernest Hemingway

#11 Pinkz

Pinkz

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 26 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Over The Pink Colored Rainbow

Posted 12 June 2011 - 03:21 AM

I'm sos sorry about what your going through right now. Kids can be very mean, and I personally went through years in school without any solid friends (as in friends who were my friend one day, then not the next).

Just remember it's nothing you do or have done wrong. Kids, people in general actually, just want one general thing to agree on. Something they can talk about, do together and such. Bullying is unfortunftly a popular form of that in school yard/work situations.

I don't know what to tell you to do or anything, since i never myself figured that one out. All I can say is, don't change yourself to make others happy, or like you. If you do that, you'll most likely end up hating yourself.

Best of luck to you, and I hope those kids in your school realize what a amazing person you are, and how harmful bullying is. :)

#12 life_less

life_less

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 30 posts

Posted 12 June 2011 - 08:34 PM

I went through the same thing as you are. No one liked me, they called me names, they beat me and threatened to **** me every single day. I was miserable day after day. The only way I coped with it was hurting myself and attempting suicide. I even brought blades to school with me. All my high school life was blood and misery. Even my so called friends would get in on the abuse on me. So it felt like it was me against the world and I couldnt control it at all. Id cry alot and wish it all would stop. Im now 26 and thought it stopped but its still the same s***. Except they dont say it to my face, they say it behind my back.

#13 InnerMantra

InnerMantra

    Just Registered

  • Just Registered
  • 4 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Canada

Posted 13 June 2011 - 01:06 PM

At school, I have no real friends. Everyone bullies me, and they call me names. One person told me they hate me because they hate the way I talk and think, and that has made me really depressed. I'm sick and tired of being lonely and sad all the time. It's hard to feel good about yourself when your surrounded by people calling you " ******** " and " stupid " all the time. I know i'm not stupid, because I have advanced classes and I love reading. So besides that point, there has to be something that " society " or people in general don't like. Is it the way I think or talk? Do I say the wrong things at the wrong time? Am I not social enough? I don't know anymore. If you have any ideas on what I should do, Please comment. you don't have to comment, i'm just glad if your reading this and hearing me out. Well, thanks, and bye.


A weak person will insult someone else, remember that kiddo. No you are absolutely fine, they just want to knock you down a peg to be a lowly life form like themselves. You are better then that don't let anyone get infront of your goals achieve them. Dont listen to what people have to say. Most "anti-social" people are just people that other people don't know how to socialize with so they categorize them. Trust me when you get older people like this who are name calling you don't go far. Don't listen to them and remember that there are people like yourself in the same situation. You are the better person out of these bullies. I have the same problems aswell, it's just better to persevere it's good to hear you are doing great in school Advance classes you are smart.

Edited by InnerMantra, 13 June 2011 - 01:10 PM.


#14 Lowlifezzz

Lowlifezzz

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 23 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 26 June 2011 - 12:48 AM

i went through the same thing. and it still effects me today. Life has been an uphill struggle ans I really feel I should have ended it long ago. I think the only thing that would have helped me is if there was someone looking out for me. Like the Masons of something. if you can join the masons lodge they will take care of your needs through life.
need someone to believe in me and give me a break

#15 TracyRae

TracyRae

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 23 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Los Angeles

Posted 07 July 2011 - 04:12 AM

The only thing you're doing wrong is not realizing that you've done nothing wrong. These people are obviously just tasteless and bitter, which means they'll tend to talk out of their ***. There will be plenty of people who will see your good qualities, and you definitely have them. Your post alone proves that you're honest, reflective, and not freakishly made of stone (i.e. all good qualities that sane people want in their friends). Just put yourself out there and be super open to meeting new people. They'll come, I promise.
And regardless of people's opinions, do your best to be honest with yourself and others. Sure, some people don't appreciate honesty, but in the long run, you'll regret hiding yourself and missing opportunities to let good people get to know you waaaay more than you'll regret being disliked by judgmental people who probably hate everyone, themselves included.

#16 thewordsitch

thewordsitch

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 14 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Metro DC

Posted 07 July 2011 - 07:12 AM

I just want you to know Tyler1234, that I see you. I struggled to be social from a young age and would often choose to read over socializing with others. I was smart enough to move up a grade but teachers were concerned that I would have even more problems being introduced into a whole new group. Now 2 years out of high school I still don't have many friends but I've found there are ways to meet people more like me. I hang out in the library and in book stores and try to strike up conversations with people I can see I have something in common with right off the bat. I hope you know the world is bigger than your school, even though trust me, I know how hard it is to feel alone all the time. Just remember you are not alone whenever you have a book by your side. And if you learn from what you read someday you will find people who are like you or want to be like you.


I wonder how many of us highs school "outcasts" ended up choosing books over people? I still, 17 years after graduating, find books to be one of my greatest comforts. They're a safe place to escape to, and as a bonus, my vocabulary is wide, and I've learned about things I would never have known otherwise. Praise books! :)

#17 thewordsitch

thewordsitch

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 14 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Metro DC

Posted 07 July 2011 - 07:15 AM

At school, I have no real friends. Everyone bullies me, and they call me names. One person told me they hate me because they hate the way I talk and think, and that has made me really depressed. I'm sick and tired of being lonely and sad all the time. It's hard to feel good about yourself when your surrounded by people calling you " ******** " and " stupid " all the time. I know i'm not stupid, because I have advanced classes and I love reading. So besides that point, there has to be something that " society " or people in general don't like. Is it the way I think or talk? Do I say the wrong things at the wrong time? Am I not social enough? I don't know anymore. If you have any ideas on what I should do, Please comment. you don't have to comment, i'm just glad if your reading this and hearing me out. Well, thanks, and bye.


Tyler1234, Hang in there! I know it's horrible when you're in the thick of it. Is there anything you can do to get away from these people...like finding a special place to eat lunch (bring a book, a comic, an ipod, or a journal to keep you company)? I ate by my locker all of the time, and learned to enjoy it. Are there other people in your situation that might make a good friend? Or is there a group you could join (drama, the band...)? I noticed, when I was in school, that those groups had their own little sub cultures, and they were always together, and it's a lot harder for the bullies to gang up on a whole group.

These ideas may be hard to do. I'm just trying to throw stuff out there. If you can, just keep saying to yourself, "It will get better. It will get better." Because, honestly, it really will. Eventually these bullies, and you, will graduate and get on with your lives, and while the bullies will have terrible social skills out in the real world, you will have the gifts of empathy and kindness, which are beautiful qualities to have, as long as you don't become a bully yourself (which seems unlikely), and are eventually able to let go.

I highly suggest a journal. You can express all of your rage and hurt onto the page, which I've found to be a helpful tool. You mentioned you like to read -- there are so many great fiction books for young adults about bullying and not fitting in (and they are not childish). I'm 36, and I enjoyed these books, and wish they'd been around when I was your age. If you'd like a list, please PM me, and I'll give you some suggestions.

In the meantime, time care of yourself, and please come back and update us.

One last thing... are you in a summer program? I thought school was out for the year. Or do you just run into these bullies around town? A-ha! I see your post was made in April, so hopefully you're having a bully free summer.

Take care!
=^.^=

Edited by thewordsitch, 07 July 2011 - 07:18 AM.


#18 wolfgirl

wolfgirl

    Just Registered

  • Just Registered
  • 3 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Bainbridge Island, Washington

Posted 03 October 2011 - 08:28 PM

Hi, Tyler. I know it's impossible to avoid the emotional effects of bullying, but I just want you to know that no matter what they say, you are a beautiful human being. One day your bullies will be drunken failures, and you will be the one who rose above your problems and showed the world who you really are and what you can accomplish. I'm in a similar situation, except my brother is my bully. And as much as I need it to stop in order to survive, I know that when I do overcome my problems, the world won't be able to stop me, and the same goes for you. I wish you the best of luck out there.

#19 soreloser

soreloser

    Junior Member

  • Junior Member
  • PipPip
  • 116 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 22 October 2011 - 09:53 PM

Hi tyler,

There several ways that can light you up. Come in here and started to share with us all and we're ready to come forth and comfort you with our mights and wills ^^. Well let's me be honest with you when somebodies tries to drag you down by addressing you "jabbed nickname" or what ever it is. Indeed is hurt when comes to verbals are so harsh and hardly acceptance what they'd had laid fingers on you.
Go forth and just do whatever you are feel happy and do not worries about their presences who intended to hurts you. If you are unable to hold up anymore, you can try talks with your teachers or parent better. Please do not hold inside your heart too long. Release your discontent impressions as much as you needed. Trust on me, you will be feel relief and delight again.

You can try to join any club activities that you're interested on it. That's a good start to occupy your mind and desolate about bullying, better focus on useful works and gained benefit skills and knowledge as well. Yeah good right? Be happy and be smiled. I always used to it when somebodies tries to said stupidity on me..What you're gonna do is smile on them :D. Do your best and try to get a friend if you are ready to fight for it. Take is slowly as a starter. Grow slowly and learn slowly.

francesca battistelli behind the scenes - from youtube...Yeah this is nice song! go and listen for it...Do not worry that you are being loner...soon or later someone will notice on you and began to liking you after knows you thoroughly :P
No hobby no interest no ambition and no friends...why? Because my life and my very own purpose is destroyed and disgusting the way how to alter my own principle of life by creating vary calamities...intently to hurt me, blame me, accuse me, shame on me, betray on me and cheat on me and everything what i am seeking for happiness definitely return to nothing...

#20 soreloser

soreloser

    Junior Member

  • Junior Member
  • PipPip
  • 116 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 22 October 2011 - 09:57 PM

Dedicated a song for you - smile -Avril Lavigne from youtube sorry i cant post a link at here..happy listen a song :P
No hobby no interest no ambition and no friends...why? Because my life and my very own purpose is destroyed and disgusting the way how to alter my own principle of life by creating vary calamities...intently to hurt me, blame me, accuse me, shame on me, betray on me and cheat on me and everything what i am seeking for happiness definitely return to nothing...

#21 FeelinBlueAllTheTime

FeelinBlueAllTheTime

    Senior Member

  • Senior Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 621 posts

Posted 24 October 2011 - 08:13 AM

Hi Tyler...

you are NOT stupid, no matter what anyone says. I went through hell in school. I'm 27 and I've always been "that girl", the one people mock and make fun of.

I don't know how old you are, but I want to tell you that you will most likely turn out better in life than most of the bullies. You're smart and you love to read? Me too! Books are my best friends. :flowers: I hang out in book stores for fun.

The bullies are spending their time being jerks while you are building a productive future. They are being stupid, not you. It sounds like they feel threatened by how intelligent you are and this is why they want to bring you down.

You're not alone, believe me.


#22 Tribe416

Tribe416

    Junior Member

  • Junior Member
  • PipPip
  • 125 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 26 October 2011 - 02:25 PM

Hi, I'm 23 and being bullied in school as well. I understand you. I've been bullied since young and despite standing up for myself, these bullies are out to bring me down. Even teachers, adults or anyone can be bullies. If I were to be honest, I think I'm a nice person and I'll never hurt anyone's feelings intentionally. I suppose this is the reason why I got bullied. It has nothing to do with the way you speak and behave. I was disheartened by all the emotional bullying I was getting(no physical attacks) because they put me down. They really destroy my self-esteem. I like to think I'm a well-liked person, but sadly I'm not and I know it's not my fault because I never do anything to these people. You can PM me if you like.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users