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I, Too, Was Bullied


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#1 Imaworrywart

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Posted 20 April 2011 - 11:02 PM

When a child is "different", other kids pick up on that lightning quick. I had a handicap, well two. I was born with slight CP in the spastic muscle sense. I couldn't run fast or jump high. This is "very important" in elementary school. I also wore glasses starting in kindergarten. And they were UGLY ones too. And they got UGLIER when they broke in the middle but my parents couldn't afford a fix them, so my dad rigged them back together with wire. A real stylish look, I'll tell you. :rolleyes:

Anyway, because of these disabilities and add to it that, I was painfully shy, the kids honed in on that like sharks after blood. I remember walking home from school with some friends in first grade (at least I did have SOME friends) and some boys threw a rock that hit me behind my ear. Boy did I bleed like crazy. In those days, parents didn't litigate like now, so when I got home, Mom just cleaned me up and that was the end of it.

Throughout the years, I was the last person chosen for P.E. games (why do teachers do that? They should just number odds and evens and be done with it). I had a group of girls who banded together and threatened to beat me up after school. I dodged them through 4-6 grade by taking different ways home or staying late after school.

This same group, when my younger sister came to my school, sidled up to her to tell her how much more prettier and smarter she was than I. It went on and on.

While my parents generally were supportive of me, most of the time their advice was "just ignore it and it will go away." Until I read this thread, I never thought of my parents bullying me, but I realize it was true. My dad couldn't accept my limitations and would make fun of me when I couldn't do something exactly the way he wanted me to....like jaunt downhill on a hiking trail. I have little balance, so I scooted on my butt. He'd punish me for that. I must say, later on, he apologized for the way he treated me but it still has its affect on me today.

Today I am naturally quiet and don't jump into groups. While I have friends, I wouldn't say we are super close and it's my fault because now I prefer to be alone. I do have a loving husband and he sustains me and loves me the way I am.

Anyway, I thought I'd jump in with my growing up experiences. Most of you here certainly had it more rough than I did. I hope you can keep moving on in your life even if it takes a Therapist or meds to do it. I'm sorry for your sad times.

Imaworrywart

#2 r90

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Posted 01 May 2011 - 05:39 AM

When a child is "different", other kids pick up on that lightning quick. I had a handicap, well two. I was born with slight CP in the spastic muscle sense. I couldn't run fast or jump high. This is "very important" in elementary school. I also wore glasses starting in kindergarten. And they were UGLY ones too. And they got UGLIER when they broke in the middle but my parents couldn't afford a fix them, so my dad rigged them back together with wire. A real stylish look, I'll tell you. :rolleyes:

Anyway, because of these disabilities and add to it that, I was painfully shy, the kids honed in on that like sharks after blood. I remember walking home from school with some friends in first grade (at least I did have SOME friends) and some boys threw a rock that hit me behind my ear. Boy did I bleed like crazy. In those days, parents didn't litigate like now, so when I got home, Mom just cleaned me up and that was the end of it.

Throughout the years, I was the last person chosen for P.E. games (why do teachers do that? They should just number odds and evens and be done with it). I had a group of girls who banded together and threatened to beat me up after school. I dodged them through 4-6 grade by taking different ways home or staying late after school.

This same group, when my younger sister came to my school, sidled up to her to tell her how much more prettier and smarter she was than I. It went on and on.

While my parents generally were supportive of me, most of the time their advice was "just ignore it and it will go away." Until I read this thread, I never thought of my parents bullying me, but I realize it was true. My dad couldn't accept my limitations and would make fun of me when I couldn't do something exactly the way he wanted me to....like jaunt downhill on a hiking trail. I have little balance, so I scooted on my butt. He'd punish me for that. I must say, later on, he apologized for the way he treated me but it still has its affect on me today.

Today I am naturally quiet and don't jump into groups. While I have friends, I wouldn't say we are super close and it's my fault because now I prefer to be alone. I do have a loving husband and he sustains me and loves me the way I am.

Anyway, I thought I'd jump in with my growing up experiences. Most of you here certainly had it more rough than I did. I hope you can keep moving on in your life even if it takes a Therapist or meds to do it. I'm sorry for your sad times.

Imaworrywart


Hey Imaworrywart, how are you today?

I am sorry to hear about your past experience with bullying, they can be tough and can also have negative effects on your mental health today, I am sure that you're tougher these days, thanks for sharing your valuable experience here on DF!

r90

Edited by r90, 01 May 2011 - 05:45 AM.

Borderline Personality Disorder: Is it just a diagnosis label or a constant chaos of suffering?

DepressionForums.org is a community support group for mental health issues, our job is to support, if you're seeking a medical advice or treatment, please refer to a qualified mental health professional
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#3 Jackadullboy

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 12:00 PM

Hi Imaworrywart,

I'm sorry to hear that you've been bullied, but I am glad that you're married and have a spouse who loves you. :) I, too, have been bullied as a child because I was "different". Where I come from, if you're different in any way, you'll be picked on and excluded for it. While I've only just turned 18, I don't think that I'll ever come to accept how pedantic and close-minded people are. Even my parents, who are supposed to be our role models, are just like the rest... They have never understood me, and were emotionally abusive to a certain degree.

I'm starting to wonder if my childhood social experiences have led to the onset of bipolar II within me. I also wonder if my hatred of people in general comes from the hostility I've received, or is it merely a cloud shrouding my perception in my depression? Regardless of what the answer is, I don't think that I'll ever truly love my fellow kin. It apalls me to see other people being treated so poorly.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your experience and I hope that you're feeling better. :)

#4 pain_in_life

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Posted 07 May 2011 - 10:32 AM

My dad would verbally abuse me aswell if I couldn't do something the way he wanted

#5 skin

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Posted 11 May 2011 - 05:52 AM

Hi Iamaworrywort... sorry to hear about your bullying at school. I had a similar experience too. I was interested in reading about how your parents bullied you too. I don't think mine did. Even when I finally cracked and told them about what was going on they didn't really understand, they thought it was just joking gone too far. In fact they thought the kids bullying me were my best friends (because as strange as it may seem I used to hang around with my bullies... maybe because at least they recognised me in some way, unlike the others, or maybe it was because it was better to stick with a bully that you knew rather than open yourself up to all of them.

I think these years of childhood are really influential, I hope you've found a way to deal with them...

#6 AngelWingsFlutter

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Posted 17 June 2011 - 11:36 PM

Hello I'maworrywart, I had gone through a lot of bullying too when I was growing up. My parents didn't understand what I went through and told me to either ignore it or fight back. It was hard, especially for me, when I was bullied for looking different. I was called albino, casper the fiendly ghost, snow white and squid. The junior high school I was in tried to convince me that I really am an albino and should take compliment of the names the students called me. They told my parents that there is a special organization for people with albinism and they argued back at the school telling them I'm not an albino. I had some color in my white hair and blue eyes. I definitely didn't have pink eyes.

Just because I was pale doesn't make me an albino. I was kicked, bullied on, called names relating to white and so on. Whenever I hit back, after I was first hit, the fight was always labeled as my fault. Today I identify with those people who had gone through that kind of bullying because I had gone through the same thing. Today as an adult, I have light ash blonde hair and blue/hazel eyes with a ruddy complexion. (I used to rub my face a lot to put color into it.) Oh yeah, I forgot, what I didn't get over was being stuck with straight pins in my back and buttox. That lasted a whole semester.

I pretty much got over being bullied, but I have been affected by it. I'm still a very shy person when I shouldn't be.

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#7 Kool

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Posted 18 June 2011 - 10:23 AM

Having been teased a lot at school I found your post very touching. It's great that your happily married and hopefully you will find your confidence in social situations soon. I'm at a stage where I can be very defensive in social arenas which does not help me as a person. I too have worn high indexed glasses all my life.

#8 gemstar

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Posted 20 June 2011 - 07:29 PM

Hi,

I was bullied harshly in school, too, from death threats to ostracization. I had to change schools to protect myself, even, and my family got an unlisted number so people would stop prank calling. So cruel. Luckily, my parents were always on my side. I'm sorry to hear that you had such a horrible bullying experience. (((hugs))) It really does leave a scar, a mar, on our self identity and confidence.
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#9 ApodemusSylvaticus

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Posted 04 October 2011 - 02:08 PM

@Skin, it's not so weird you know. I have a friend actually, he's about 22 nearly, and he actually hangs around with his bullies when not at uni. He calls them his friends but they do lovely things like put him in bins, and other practical jokes all at his expense..... once they even set him on fire...... It is very sad. When at uni, whenever he gets drunk he goes on a massive downer and he'll cry and bang his head against walls and punch himself in the head and stuff. He thinks of himself as being completely worthless.... I mean COMPLETELY worthless. I bet he wouldn't come on a site like this for support as he is SO CONVINCED of his innate worthlessness. And there is no convincing him that we all love him and think he's great and that he needs to ditch these idiots.

Do you find they do that bullying thing where they keep you on your toes by between being horrible are sometimes nice, a laugh.... FRIENDLY?
So you think, "oh maybe they're not so bad.... maybe they do like me really".... the ploy to keep you constantly second guessing so you a) never tell, and b) keep you wrapped right round their fingers?

#10 FeelinBlueAllTheTime

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Posted 05 October 2011 - 10:29 AM

ApodemusSylvaticus...I can see where you're coming from. I feel terrible for your friend. No one deserves to be treated that way. When a person feels worthless, they will accept all kinds of abuse. I hope he will come to realize that he is not worthless and that he deserves to be treated with kindness.

When I was younger, I also had so-called "friends" who weren't very nice to me. My ex-boyfriend turned out to be an emotionally abusive bully who would constantly belittle me whenever he could. He would tell me that I was stupid and that I should simply k*** myself. Sometimes his friends would join in the ridicule
. He is now in a relationship with somebody new and I often wonder if he will ever treat her the way he treated me.

I put up with the abuse and disrespect for a long time because I didn't feel worthy. As a woman who has always been made to feel inferior and ugly, my self-esteem is pretty much down the drain. But I will say that my experiences have taught me to be more selective about who I want to be friends with. I'm not that desperate to be friends with just anyone anymore. People have to prove that they are worthy to be my friend.

I would see other girls who were so happy with life and they had people who cared about them. That would send me on a further downward spiral into depression. I came from a broken home with a mother who worked all the time. My stepfather was abusive and my biological father never took responsibility.

I was bullied relentlessly by other people, both children and adults, from the time I was 4 years old. I learned to see the world as a very unsafe place where no one could be trusted. I also have a severe learning disability that I'm forced to hide because people tend to think I'm unintelligent when they find out. I'm so afraid of being bullied again that I have retreated into my own little world. I'm too fearful to even seek employment although I need a job.

When I was young, my life was like this...I would be bullied at school, then bullied at home. I could never seem to escape from it. To make matters worse, holidays weren't much fun either because I would visit my family in the Caribbean and my cousins would torment me. They enjoyed hurting me and making me cry. They hated me for no reason. I didn't even feel accepted by my own family. I'm biracial (black and white) with very light skin. I believe that some people resent me because of my appearance and they judge me before getting to know me. So that explains some of my experiences with bullying.

Anyway, to all of you who have been bullied or who are still being bullied...I feel your pain. Just remember that no matter what anyone says or does to you, you are not worthless or ugly or stupid or whatever.










#11 HighWithLife

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Posted 06 October 2011 - 01:39 AM

I remember being bullied so much through elementary and middle school. I eventually went to be home-schooled and never looked back. :) I think the key is not giving attention to the bullies.

#12 Mindflux

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Posted 06 October 2011 - 03:01 AM

I think the key is not giving attention to the bullies.


Can you ignore a punch in the head?

#13 HighWithLife

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Posted 06 October 2011 - 11:59 PM

I think the key is not giving attention to the bullies.


Can you ignore a punch in the head?


Yes.

#14 soreloser

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Posted 13 November 2011 - 08:50 AM

i am speechless when i am drop by. Overdue abusive..But i am gladly you all are joined on this group and get along well too. Wish the best for you all and hopefully we can be coincidental imaginary from power ranger!!! Yeaha!!!!:thumbs-up:

The remedy is smiled and happy always

To all good luck and especially for Feelingblueallthetime do not worry when you're look for a job...landed a job and started to build your own principle, enjoyed learning and hopefully enable for you to get to know new people. When comes to work is totally different from school. Do not be afraid to exposes your weaknesses and let it be. Let them highlight and address what's your are missing. Pieces/ fragments can be patch slowly once you are ready to face it :buttrock:

Edited by soreloser, 13 November 2011 - 09:00 AM.

No hobby no interest no ambition and no friends...why? Because my life and my very own purpose is destroyed and disgusting the way how to alter my own principle of life by creating vary calamities...intently to hurt me, blame me, accuse me, shame on me, betray on me and cheat on me and everything what i am seeking for happiness definitely return to nothing...




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