Jump to content

Advertisement
  • No one should be alone in this. We can help.
If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.                                                                            If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Photo

Feeling Empty, With No Emotion And Don't Want To Be Around Anyone


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 LivingInAFog

LivingInAFog

    Just Registered

  • Just Registered
  • 2 posts

Posted 27 March 2011 - 04:39 PM

I am a 31 year old mother of two beautiful children. Great husband, great family, great home, great life - EXCEPT I suffer with depression. Been depressed for as long as I remember - have been able to manage it with psychotherapy and no meds but its been a struggle. I go through cycles of feeling okay for months and then will suffer for a couple weeks here and there. This is the first time in as long as I can remember that I've been in a deep, dark depression for the whole month of MARCH with no end in sight. No motivation, horrible social anxiety, feel worthless, can't concentrate, no emotion, etc.. I would give anything to be better. I often wish I had any other illness - anything but depression.

I am so scared, feel so empty, I feel so stupid for feeling this way because my depression allows me to not have feeling, not be myself , not be social and not be focused. It alters me which then makes me feel dumb. I have cried multiple times a day for the past month - and its been the most painful experience of my life especially when im faced with everday challenges of being a mother and caring for my two children. I feel sad that I've been sad and unmotivated for them. Im unmotivated to sit around and play, do homework with them.

I can't see the light in any situation - everything is dark. I feel like the only person going through this. I went to a wedding this afternoon and everyone looked so happy, so beautiful, so cheerful with each other - I felt so miserable, so weak, so unmotivated, so sad and hoped and prayed that no one noticed. BUT I feel like everyone noticed.

I am completely self-sabotaging myself and continue to feel worse as a result. I set too many expectations from people and things I do and plan. I need to stop doing that.

Sorry for rambling. :(

#2 DarkRain

DarkRain

    Platinum Member

  • Platinum Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,862 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Middle-earth

Posted 27 March 2011 - 05:05 PM

Hi LivingInAFog You're definatley not alone in this, depression does take the color out of life and things can often seem more hopeless and dark than they really are.
You're not worthless or stupid for having depression and I know you have been managing without meds so far but please try and consider it. There are so many people here who do better with medication you may be surprised at how much of a difference it can make.
I'm sure your children know that you love them, please don't feel too bad when you can't find the strength to spend time with them. :hugs:
Ramble here to your heart's content, we're listening.
:1cat:
"There is some good in this world Mr. Frodo and it's worth fighting for."

"I will not say do not weep, for not all tears are an evil."

"My friends are my power! And I'm theirs!"

Posted Image

#3 MaddieLouise

MaddieLouise

    Member

  • Platinum Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,508 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 27 March 2011 - 05:09 PM

Please don't feel stupid or sorry for how you are feeling. It sounds like your feelings of inadequacy have increased. Have you considered seeing a Dr. about adding medication, to your psychotherapy regimen? You are so lucky to have two great children and a husband. I am sure that to them you are the world! Maybe sit down and play with your children for awhile or go on a walk with them and see if doing something together will take your mind off of this darkness for awhile. Let us know how you feel.

I am a 31 year old mother of two beautiful children. Great husband, great family, great home, great life - EXCEPT I suffer with depression. Been depressed for as long as I remember - have been able to manage it with psychotherapy and no meds but its been a struggle. I go through cycles of feeling okay for months and then will suffer for a couple weeks here and there. This is the first time in as long as I can remember that I've been in a deep, dark depression for the whole month of MARCH with no end in sight. No motivation, horrible social anxiety, feel worthless, can't concentrate, no emotion, etc.. I would give anything to be better. I often wish I had any other illness - anything but depression.

I am so scared, feel so empty, I feel so stupid for feeling this way because my depression allows me to not have feeling, not be myself , not be social and not be focused. It alters me which then makes me feel dumb. I have cried multiple times a day for the past month - and its been the most painful experience of my life especially when im faced with everday challenges of being a mother and caring for my two children. I feel sad that I've been sad and unmotivated for them. Im unmotivated to sit around and play, do homework with them.

I can't see the light in any situation - everything is dark. I feel like the only person going through this. I went to a wedding this afternoon and everyone looked so happy, so beautiful, so cheerful with each other - I felt so miserable, so weak, so unmotivated, so sad and hoped and prayed that no one noticed. BUT I feel like everyone noticed.

I am completely self-sabotaging myself and continue to feel worse as a result. I set too many expectations from people and things I do and plan. I need to stop doing that.

Sorry for rambling. :(


Posted ImagePosted Image

#4 Guest_lucyvp_*

Guest_lucyvp_*
  • Guests

Posted 27 March 2011 - 05:42 PM

I am a 31 year old mother of two beautiful children. Great husband, great family, great home, great life - EXCEPT I suffer with depression. Been depressed for as long as I remember - have been able to manage it with psychotherapy and no meds but its been a struggle. I go through cycles of feeling okay for months and then will suffer for a couple weeks here and there. This is the first time in as long as I can remember that I've been in a deep, dark depression for the whole month of MARCH with no end in sight. No motivation, horrible social anxiety, feel worthless, can't concentrate, no emotion, etc.. I would give anything to be better. I often wish I had any other illness - anything but depression.

I am so scared, feel so empty, I feel so stupid for feeling this way because my depression allows me to not have feeling, not be myself , not be social and not be focused. It alters me which then makes me feel dumb. I have cried multiple times a day for the past month - and its been the most painful experience of my life especially when im faced with everday challenges of being a mother and caring for my two children. I feel sad that I've been sad and unmotivated for them. Im unmotivated to sit around and play, do homework with them.

I can't see the light in any situation - everything is dark. I feel like the only person going through this. I went to a wedding this afternoon and everyone looked so happy, so beautiful, so cheerful with each other - I felt so miserable, so weak, so unmotivated, so sad and hoped and prayed that no one noticed. BUT I feel like everyone noticed.

I am completely self-sabotaging myself and continue to feel worse as a result. I set too many expectations from people and things I do and plan. I need to stop doing that.

Sorry for rambling. :(



LIF,
I, too, have two children. Parenting is a very difficult task when one suffers from depression. It can also take a toll on our romantic relationships.

I, too, have been depressed as long as I can remember. I did not begin to take medication until I was 34. I was fortunate and found the right medication quickly, and was able to live mostly depression-free, for the following 16 years.

I know that the medication hurdle is a difficult one to jump, but if you have been depressed...forever, there is likely a biochemical component to your depression, which means that no amount of therapy would be able to get you feeling well.

Remember that depression is a life-threatening illness and that inadequate treatment can cause some damage to your brain, as well as robbing you of quality of life, and the enjoyment of seeing your children grow and thrive.

To use the tried and true comparison, if your neurological system is not working properly, it is no different than if you had diabetes, where your pancreas is not working properly, yet would you hesitate with taking insulin?

If you are going to consider medication, I would strongly suggest that you ask your GP for referral to a psychiatrist, whose specialty is to know the most up to date information on mental illnesses and medications.

I'm glad you have decided to join DF, and I look forward to getting to know you better.

Warm regards,
lucyvp

#5 rharnie

rharnie

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 32 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:australia

Posted 31 March 2011 - 06:42 AM

Hi, You are not stupid!!! Living in a fog is a dangerous thing. YOu have done really well to manage it till now! I remember the emptiness well. I often would say i would prefer to feel pain rather than the nothingness i get with the bad depression. I often range from tears to emptiness in a matter of minutes! When i feel like this i think any feeling would be better than none.

It can be better. I am pretty good at the moment, tho have been on many meds over the last 12 years, i know without them i would not be here any longer!!
Please go and see your GP and get a referal to a psychiatrist for assesment. He will listen and discuss with you options for treatment, whether that be medications or not will be a decision you will make together.

One thing i have found is that when my vit D levels drop so does my mood, so i now take a suppliment as we are in Spring and i work inside therefore do not get out in the sun much at all at the moment ( and it will only get worse heading into winter).

YOur family love you and need you! Talking about it on here helps. it is one step forward.
take care

rharnie




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users