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ya4df

How Do I Get These Thoughts Off My Mind Or Keep Them At Bay?

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Posted

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There was an event at work. I was set up and then knocked down. More than once. I can't let this go. The anger, bitterness, and resentment are constantly on my mind. Sometimes I wake up early just to ruminate. Previously I could get past troubling events in around a month. But for this the betrayal, the hypocrisy, and the whole unfairness owns me. I have to see these people often so the wounds reopen constantly.

I have a solution though. Will get a new job. First, I need to clear my mind to make that happen. I need to get these thoughts out of my head. I need to stop dwelling on the deceitful acts and cruel behavior.

So that's my main question to this forum. How do I stop thinking about the anger?

How do I rationalize that the events occurred? How do I accept that these people are not going to change? How do I fold all that up, recognize that it exists, set it aside and continue on with my life?

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Posted

ya4df:

Sorry that this happened to you at work. You know, sometimes it is almost impossible to let these things go completely. Especially when we are telling ourselves, or someone else is saying, let it go.

Have you had a chance to write down an account of what happened. That sometimes helps one make the feelings more objective.

I don't have any easy answer. It's a tough thing.

I would encourage you to try to limit the time you ruminate. Sometimes you have to limit the time, not to get over it (again that's hard) but just so you aren't stuck in the immediacy of the bad feelings.

Wishing you the best,

Tim

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Posted

Hi ya4df,

This is really a case of 'letting go' the feeling in a meaningful way otherwise they will linger and cause you more problems.

For myself I let these kind of feelings and memories go almost immediately as I realize they are going to have a negative effect on my whole body and mind. What is done is done and unless it was a case of a false accusation's or a dire emergency then nothing is going to change by resentment.

I tell myself life is too busy and short to even care , and I completely focus on the most important things I need to do and let everything else 'go' and I visualize it going and I relax and say ' just let it go' In the 'scheme of things' the incidents won't matter and the world will move on in a few second.

As long as you maintain self-esteem and your integrity and self love you can deal with anything this way.

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

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Posted

Tim and Jim, thanks for replying.

Some I've written down then ripped up. I've read its to symbolize letting go. I will just have to keep focus on anything but negativity from abusive workplace. Although my mind can still replay events even after exhausting hours at the gym. Will look for more activities to keep distracted. It does help to hear reinforcement of how these incidents must be made and considered unimportant. I do know I have a life to live and I prefer that. I just have to work on believing and accepting. The How is the hard part.

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Posted

Of course, everyone sees things differently, but I wonder whether, in order for you to overcome your trauma, you will need to talk about it with someone else. I don't believe that the someone needs necessarily to be a professional. But I wonder whether it might help you to fully discuss what happened, along with the feelings you had at the time, in order to put it all to rest.

Best wishes,

lucyvp

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Posted (edited)

I am going through this again in my current job after having to overcome it before. If it weren't for my medicine, I'm sure I would have tried jumping off my balcony by now, but even the medicine doesn't keep the bad thoughts completely away. I try to tell myself not to care, but my superiors are the ones who target me. I've worked too hard in therapy to succumb to this, but it gets harder every day. I spent 10 minutes crying in the bathroom on Friday. No one at work would ever understand. I feel like an outcast. verysad3.gif

Edited by Miss_Mia

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Posted

Hello Miss_Mia,

I follow you on that. I sometimes wish to start my own line of business and forget all about superiors. Except for clients but thats none the same :) I've had a hard time of accepting that I mustn't care overly so about others behaviors. I understand the Why but its the Acceptance part that is difficult for me. So I've talked to people, I've search on the www and am steadily following the suggestions. I hope it works. I don't want to believe that it won't! And I hope that you come to a point soon in which you'll have a positive and favorable closure.

Hi lucyvp,

I have some close & true friends that have been helping me through this. But not wanting to wear them out I posted online to seek others opinions. So thanks for yours. I didn't discuss my feelings in any meaningful detail so I will try that at next opportunity. Thanks again.

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Posted (edited)

Hello

Repressed anger turns to depression. That you deal with this is very importent. How you deal with it is a open question. I am of the opinion that living well is the best revenge. With this thought you might start going over your options as far as employment goes. What matters here, in my opinion, is to do nothing in haste but to make small strides tword your set goal. Saying I need to quit and get a new job sounds over whealming. You must break this up into tasks that can be done. Start be getting an idea of what you want to do. Write down your options. After you get an idea of what and where you want to work then write out your resume to fit the job. I think that you will find your anger fading away as you make these concrete steps to resolving your situation in a positive way. Don't try and do every thing in a day or even week. Just make steady progress and you will be able to look those suckers at work in the eye and think "You are history". Good luck.

Bigd

PS your ultimate goal is to write the people that have given you so much grief and tell them you are sorry you had to move on. Thank them for all thier support and friendship. :)

Edited by bigd847

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