I'm nearly alone 24/7, even in classes where no one wants to talk to each other or they all have their own group of friends. I've tried talking to people and they will talk to me for a little, then their friends come in and I'm ignored again so I just tend to sit in the front and be alone then I get back home and I am alone again in my room till the next day. On weekends I tend to spend it all inside, at first I just ignored the thought of how depressing this is but recently it just hit me that's it's a pretty sad life considering I like being around people at times.
Irony is, when I am around people or my "friends" as people would call them, they never invite me to gatherings, parties, hang outs etc... then it's just plain out rude to be like oh hey I am coming too, or invite myself. I sit there, walk with them to their destinations and they say, "bye, thanks" when I even told them I have nothing to do today. Couple of times I even asked them if I could hang out but they seemed hesitant so I tend not to ask anymore, or I feel like they are going to think that I am being wayy to pushy or I am trying to make myself fit in ( I know they think like this because they express the same exact thoughts about other people when I am around them)
The same goes for clubs, I join them, have a good time at the meetings, events, but no one ever invites me anywhere else, why? because everyone already formed their own group and I feel like they shut me out. I try to talk with them, they talk with me for a good minute and end up back with their friends. I exchange some numbers because they say we'll hit you up if anything goes down and what do you know, nothing, no call no text, nothing.
Also, when I am with people there are a lot of times where I think to myself, dammit I want to be home alone, then I get home and I want to be outside with friends. Oh how great...
So I end up alone. Doesn't help my depression or my trust issues at all what so ever.
Good way of putting it tho, alone but lonely. Thumbs up for that one.
Edited by Gen1, 04 March 2011 - 01:51 AM.